Fitting For People Who Think They're Kinky But Don't Know Why Kink Exists
Yeah, in other words, for possible posers or over-confident newbies.
Although I've never been fat, and never will be because of how I'm genetically (daughter of athletes) and hormonally (too much testosterone) balanced, I know how it happens to other people physically, and what kind of psychology can keep a person that way.
Let's say a girl is rather young, 12-13. Girls this age don't have any fat they don't need. But maybe she's "over-developed" and is perceived to be about ten pounds overweight.
Someone is an idiot and tells her how pretty she would be if she lost ten pounds. This of course implies she isn't pretty now. She freaks out, starves herself for a couple of months, loses the weight, is happy, and begins to eat normally again.
I don't have to explain to you how it takes one's body a while to switch from fast to feast time. She gains back the ten and yet another ten before her metabolism adjusts to normal again.
Someone makes the same idiot comment about how much prettier she would be if the scale said something different. She looses more weight, only to gain even more back.
Then someone puts her on anti-depressants because her appearence and how people treat her because of it. Anti-depressants make people like me gain weight. I was 101 pounds at 5'7" AFTER puberty. So, a woman whose body isn't inclined to be waiflike reacts even worse.
Only when she no longer cares, starts eating everything she wants without guilt, and then starts moving because she no longer bears the burden of shame in being overweight will she start to look and be thin.
Psychologically it goes like this: Some idiot, usually a boy in school tells her she's fat and ugly. She doesn't necessarily believe him, but sees that he stays clear of her while showering thinner girls with all sorts of disgusting attention that borders on abuse and harrassment. So, perhaps not entirely consciously, she begins to grow fatter and one hopes uglier to people like the boy who told her that. Unfortunately there are many of these.
But you need not feel sorry for her. Some time down the road someone appears who sees the beauty of a woman inside her, loves her as she is. She has a lot of sex, so food doesn't seem as important. She starts moving around a lot because the adrenoline doesn't wear off the minute she stops making love. She grows thin. She gets married, starts her own business or finds a job where she's appreciated. People at her highschool reunion don't recognize her
I've always seen overweight women as pleasure seekers. There is a rare breed of men who can see if she appreciates pleasure in one form, loves the world so much she tries to hold it all inside her, that she'll be the same way about sex, and he laughs at his peers for the horrible dry sex they have with "attractive" women while being stupid enough to feel sorry for HIM because of how his girl might fill a room.
I'm not saying I necessarily disapprove of "no fat chicks" policies, should you have them. You have a right to play in your own league. But that's just it: Sexually, your league may not be the top, and that people sometimes behave as if a woman who exercises her right to be an expressive sexual being is disgusting or wrong is what makes me fear, at least in this one way, that many otherwise sensitive and intelligent people may be extremely short-sighted.
I didn't need fat to protect me from sexual predators, I had a brain, a way of being silent, and cerebral palsy, but it's the same principle. Nobody's perfect, but there are some who come very close, who are nonetheless either overlooked or maligned for ridiculous reasons.
Everyone I know is ugly, even you. BDSM was created for people who know they're ugly. If you want it to be more than an academic interest to you, you would do well to remember this, if nothing else.
Alexandra
Although I've never been fat, and never will be because of how I'm genetically (daughter of athletes) and hormonally (too much testosterone) balanced, I know how it happens to other people physically, and what kind of psychology can keep a person that way.
Let's say a girl is rather young, 12-13. Girls this age don't have any fat they don't need. But maybe she's "over-developed" and is perceived to be about ten pounds overweight.
Someone is an idiot and tells her how pretty she would be if she lost ten pounds. This of course implies she isn't pretty now. She freaks out, starves herself for a couple of months, loses the weight, is happy, and begins to eat normally again.
I don't have to explain to you how it takes one's body a while to switch from fast to feast time. She gains back the ten and yet another ten before her metabolism adjusts to normal again.
Someone makes the same idiot comment about how much prettier she would be if the scale said something different. She looses more weight, only to gain even more back.
Then someone puts her on anti-depressants because her appearence and how people treat her because of it. Anti-depressants make people like me gain weight. I was 101 pounds at 5'7" AFTER puberty. So, a woman whose body isn't inclined to be waiflike reacts even worse.
Only when she no longer cares, starts eating everything she wants without guilt, and then starts moving because she no longer bears the burden of shame in being overweight will she start to look and be thin.
Psychologically it goes like this: Some idiot, usually a boy in school tells her she's fat and ugly. She doesn't necessarily believe him, but sees that he stays clear of her while showering thinner girls with all sorts of disgusting attention that borders on abuse and harrassment. So, perhaps not entirely consciously, she begins to grow fatter and one hopes uglier to people like the boy who told her that. Unfortunately there are many of these.
But you need not feel sorry for her. Some time down the road someone appears who sees the beauty of a woman inside her, loves her as she is. She has a lot of sex, so food doesn't seem as important. She starts moving around a lot because the adrenoline doesn't wear off the minute she stops making love. She grows thin. She gets married, starts her own business or finds a job where she's appreciated. People at her highschool reunion don't recognize her
I've always seen overweight women as pleasure seekers. There is a rare breed of men who can see if she appreciates pleasure in one form, loves the world so much she tries to hold it all inside her, that she'll be the same way about sex, and he laughs at his peers for the horrible dry sex they have with "attractive" women while being stupid enough to feel sorry for HIM because of how his girl might fill a room.
I'm not saying I necessarily disapprove of "no fat chicks" policies, should you have them. You have a right to play in your own league. But that's just it: Sexually, your league may not be the top, and that people sometimes behave as if a woman who exercises her right to be an expressive sexual being is disgusting or wrong is what makes me fear, at least in this one way, that many otherwise sensitive and intelligent people may be extremely short-sighted.
I didn't need fat to protect me from sexual predators, I had a brain, a way of being silent, and cerebral palsy, but it's the same principle. Nobody's perfect, but there are some who come very close, who are nonetheless either overlooked or maligned for ridiculous reasons.
Everyone I know is ugly, even you. BDSM was created for people who know they're ugly. If you want it to be more than an academic interest to you, you would do well to remember this, if nothing else.
Alexandra