(no subject)
you know I am starting to get really aggravated by parents saying things like "When do my kids learn [manners, respect, how to pick up after themselves, not to scream bloody murder, etc]?" Or "When do my kids grow into [maturity, certain sports, abilities, etc]?" I read a few different blogs and Mom's sites and stuff (For lack of other outside world mom groups.) and have had to stop reading some for reading constant whines about the aforementioned.
my kids are 19 months and 3 years old.
my 19 month old can
- put her own toys away
- say please and thank you (Verbally and through baby sign)
- say sorry when she has done something wrong
- help unload the dishwasher (She knows where the tupperware goes as well as the big plastic serving spoons. may not be put away neatly but she knows where they go and will put them away)
- will get out and bring me the dishwasher soap without me even asking for it if I am loading the dishwasher
- is about 95% potty trained (I think this is just a fluke of luck)
- understands time outs
- can amuse herself for up to 30 minutes without getting into trouble.
- can take the laundry I give her and put it on the appropriate bed
- can identify her own coats/shoes and put most of them on (sometimes even on the correct feet!)
my 3 year old can:
- do all the same things my youngest can do
- is great at sharing, not only with her family but with other kids as well
-can sort her toys into the proper bins (Cars with cars, dolls with dolls, etc)
- can 'read' stories to herself and her sister
- Be quiet when an adult is on the phone
- dress herself with little to no assistance
- is starting to identify her letters
- can identify most numbers and count to in the teens by herself
Forgot to include:
These are not things that kids "Grow" into. these are things you teach children as they grow. My kids know how to behave and how to do things because they mimick what I and their father do as well as I take a few minutes to stop and show/explain things to them when they show a curiosity. I am also not afraid to ask my kids to do something. I know my 3 year old can reach the cutlery drawer safely So I will ask her to get out spoons/forks for her and her sister for meals and such. Not only does this teach her to do things for herself if gives her a sense of pride and accomplishment that she can do it herself. my youngest will immediately run to the bathroom and pull out her and her sisters toothbrush when we tell them it's time to brush teeth. she knows which are their and specifically which is hers. All of this is because it's routine, I took the time to show them what these things are. when I give them any type of beverage/food they will hold out a their hand for an equal amount/item for their sister. Every morning I pour their sippy cups of milk my youngest will wait patiently for hers and wait just as patiently until I hand her Kalli's and will run off to give Kalli her cup. If I do give one something without giving the same thing to the other I better have a DAMN good reason otherwise the one who received said item will give me poop or will go and share with her sister without being asked.
As I said all of these things are things my husband and I have done with the kids since day 1. We make sure that they understand the actions, events, and words around them. We are trying to instill in them a sense of empathy and common sense, because common sense is not as common as most people think anymore. Sometimes we run into walls where one of the kids will resist using their manners or wont want to share and normally talking it out or a stint time out corrects it. All it takes is regularity, repitition, consistancy, and a little patience.
I am far from perfect and so is my family but watching people who are rude, or, for some reason, don't say please or thank-you or use manners to their own kids and then turn around wondering why their kids don't use manners anywhere. I want to smack them. So many people take a drill sargeant attitude with their kids and don't feel the need to even say please and thank-you then the kids will inevitably follow that example no matter how much you try and drill in otherwise.
my kids are 19 months and 3 years old.
my 19 month old can
- put her own toys away
- say please and thank you (Verbally and through baby sign)
- say sorry when she has done something wrong
- help unload the dishwasher (She knows where the tupperware goes as well as the big plastic serving spoons. may not be put away neatly but she knows where they go and will put them away)
- will get out and bring me the dishwasher soap without me even asking for it if I am loading the dishwasher
- is about 95% potty trained (I think this is just a fluke of luck)
- understands time outs
- can amuse herself for up to 30 minutes without getting into trouble.
- can take the laundry I give her and put it on the appropriate bed
- can identify her own coats/shoes and put most of them on (sometimes even on the correct feet!)
my 3 year old can:
- do all the same things my youngest can do
- is great at sharing, not only with her family but with other kids as well
-can sort her toys into the proper bins (Cars with cars, dolls with dolls, etc)
- can 'read' stories to herself and her sister
- Be quiet when an adult is on the phone
- dress herself with little to no assistance
- is starting to identify her letters
- can identify most numbers and count to in the teens by herself
Forgot to include:
These are not things that kids "Grow" into. these are things you teach children as they grow. My kids know how to behave and how to do things because they mimick what I and their father do as well as I take a few minutes to stop and show/explain things to them when they show a curiosity. I am also not afraid to ask my kids to do something. I know my 3 year old can reach the cutlery drawer safely So I will ask her to get out spoons/forks for her and her sister for meals and such. Not only does this teach her to do things for herself if gives her a sense of pride and accomplishment that she can do it herself. my youngest will immediately run to the bathroom and pull out her and her sisters toothbrush when we tell them it's time to brush teeth. she knows which are their and specifically which is hers. All of this is because it's routine, I took the time to show them what these things are. when I give them any type of beverage/food they will hold out a their hand for an equal amount/item for their sister. Every morning I pour their sippy cups of milk my youngest will wait patiently for hers and wait just as patiently until I hand her Kalli's and will run off to give Kalli her cup. If I do give one something without giving the same thing to the other I better have a DAMN good reason otherwise the one who received said item will give me poop or will go and share with her sister without being asked.
As I said all of these things are things my husband and I have done with the kids since day 1. We make sure that they understand the actions, events, and words around them. We are trying to instill in them a sense of empathy and common sense, because common sense is not as common as most people think anymore. Sometimes we run into walls where one of the kids will resist using their manners or wont want to share and normally talking it out or a stint time out corrects it. All it takes is regularity, repitition, consistancy, and a little patience.
I am far from perfect and so is my family but watching people who are rude, or, for some reason, don't say please or thank-you or use manners to their own kids and then turn around wondering why their kids don't use manners anywhere. I want to smack them. So many people take a drill sargeant attitude with their kids and don't feel the need to even say please and thank-you then the kids will inevitably follow that example no matter how much you try and drill in otherwise.