(no subject)
I really don't know why I'm still awake right now. I've been exhausted since I got home at 11:30. I have a real problem accepting my tiredness. I wanna stay awake and I want something to do. i'm an insomiac, but not really, isn't there something to do at 4:23 am?
I'm feeling a little lost lately, I don't know if it's the change in schedule to evening shifts all the time or what but I'm feeling disconnected. I have some really great friends, but I can't help feeling like i'm getting further away from ryan and further away from meghan. they both have new things in their lives, ryan has his apartment and seems to want more and more to just enjoy his friends and his own life and all of the things that he has that are separate from me. and my best friend meghan has a new apartment, new job and new old boyfriend....which means she's not wanting to stay up late and play cards and have girl talk and all that as much as before.
I guess that things never stay exactly the same for any real amount of time.
I feel like going for a walk, I feel like staring up at the sky while the moon sinks and the sun comes up. I wanna lay in the grass and watch the stars fade into light. I want to breathe the fresh morning air before it becomes pungent and the rest of the world pollutes it while they begin a new day and I haven't even had a chance to finish my yesterday yet.
I'm feeling a little lost lately, I don't know if it's the change in schedule to evening shifts all the time or what but I'm feeling disconnected. I have some really great friends, but I can't help feeling like i'm getting further away from ryan and further away from meghan. they both have new things in their lives, ryan has his apartment and seems to want more and more to just enjoy his friends and his own life and all of the things that he has that are separate from me. and my best friend meghan has a new apartment, new job and new old boyfriend....which means she's not wanting to stay up late and play cards and have girl talk and all that as much as before.
I guess that things never stay exactly the same for any real amount of time.
I feel like going for a walk, I feel like staring up at the sky while the moon sinks and the sun comes up. I wanna lay in the grass and watch the stars fade into light. I want to breathe the fresh morning air before it becomes pungent and the rest of the world pollutes it while they begin a new day and I haven't even had a chance to finish my yesterday yet.