Echoes.
This weekend is already beginning to feel like something I dreamt once.
The divide between my working life and my playing life is deep and treacherous, and I feel like I'm teetering between sides on that rope bridge from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Yeah. Pleasant thought, that.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't hell here. Not by any means. It's just hard to be in a place where I'm surrounded by such normal people. Before you ask, no, I cannot define 'normal' in this context.
People often ask me to explain what I mean by 'normal' and why it spikes my anxiety to such an extent. It's hard to explain. These people seem to inhabit a world separate from mine, even while sharing a room with me. There is a membrane between us. Every time I'm forced to hold a conversation with anyone here for more than a minute, I find my hands shaking and my heart pounding from the effort of holding myself in. Right now, they all think I'm quirky. When I make jokes, I get blank looks. When I talk about my life, I get laughs. Everyone treats me as if I am the strange and mildly backwards person here.
I should return to working now...
The divide between my working life and my playing life is deep and treacherous, and I feel like I'm teetering between sides on that rope bridge from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Yeah. Pleasant thought, that.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't hell here. Not by any means. It's just hard to be in a place where I'm surrounded by such normal people. Before you ask, no, I cannot define 'normal' in this context.
People often ask me to explain what I mean by 'normal' and why it spikes my anxiety to such an extent. It's hard to explain. These people seem to inhabit a world separate from mine, even while sharing a room with me. There is a membrane between us. Every time I'm forced to hold a conversation with anyone here for more than a minute, I find my hands shaking and my heart pounding from the effort of holding myself in. Right now, they all think I'm quirky. When I make jokes, I get blank looks. When I talk about my life, I get laughs. Everyone treats me as if I am the strange and mildly backwards person here.
I should return to working now...