(no subject)
I had a strange moment the other day.
I was talking about how social I used to be and making a joke about how I was always surrounded with people in the past. Loud and outgoing. That sort of thing. Then, my roommate looks at me and tells me that he has a hard time imagining that. He tells me that he pictures me more as the reclusive millionaire-type; the rich hermit who spends all their time alone in their creepy mansion plotting.
Weird. Things change. I knew that, but it's still weird.
It made me think about how I'm not really close to anyone anymore. I don't spend inordinate amounts of time with anyone in particular. No one keeps in touch with me every day, and I don't keep in touch with anyone else in turn. I miss having close friends. The friends that you gossip with late into the night, who know every nuance of your behavior and don't let you feel too sorry for yourself. I miss that a lot.
I want to be close to certain people, but I also have a certain amount of pride. I'm not going to spend a lot of time and energy trying to keep close to anyone. If I have to try more than a few times without getting a real response, then I believe that you have no interest in being my close friend. So I'll stop trying. I'm not going to chase after friends like an annoyingly persistent puppy. A pathetic, persistent puppy.
I was just thinking about all of this, because I cooked a pretty amazing dinner tonight and ate it all by myself. I want to cook for people. I would like to share. So I will remember my awesome meal I invented, I am putting a basic recipe on here:
I carmelized onions and garlic, in butter, first.
Added zucchini, mushrooms, shrimp, and some marinated mussels that I got at the BGO today.
Added a dash of pepper sauce, some fresh basil, a splash of balsamic vinegar, and salt and pepper. Then, put a lid on it and turned the heat down.
Finally, made some spaghetti noodles. Tossed the noodles with the veggie and seafood mix.
Finished by topping the pasta with chopped roma tomatoes and shaved asiago cheese.
I also made sun tea today. I didn't have enough black tea-bags, so I threw in a couple green tea-bags and chai tea-bags. Then I made a simple syrup out of brown sugar and fresh mint, to put in the iced tea.
I feel pretty darn accomplished. But a little bit lonely.
I was talking about how social I used to be and making a joke about how I was always surrounded with people in the past. Loud and outgoing. That sort of thing. Then, my roommate looks at me and tells me that he has a hard time imagining that. He tells me that he pictures me more as the reclusive millionaire-type; the rich hermit who spends all their time alone in their creepy mansion plotting.
Weird. Things change. I knew that, but it's still weird.
It made me think about how I'm not really close to anyone anymore. I don't spend inordinate amounts of time with anyone in particular. No one keeps in touch with me every day, and I don't keep in touch with anyone else in turn. I miss having close friends. The friends that you gossip with late into the night, who know every nuance of your behavior and don't let you feel too sorry for yourself. I miss that a lot.
I want to be close to certain people, but I also have a certain amount of pride. I'm not going to spend a lot of time and energy trying to keep close to anyone. If I have to try more than a few times without getting a real response, then I believe that you have no interest in being my close friend. So I'll stop trying. I'm not going to chase after friends like an annoyingly persistent puppy. A pathetic, persistent puppy.
I was just thinking about all of this, because I cooked a pretty amazing dinner tonight and ate it all by myself. I want to cook for people. I would like to share. So I will remember my awesome meal I invented, I am putting a basic recipe on here:
I carmelized onions and garlic, in butter, first.
Added zucchini, mushrooms, shrimp, and some marinated mussels that I got at the BGO today.
Added a dash of pepper sauce, some fresh basil, a splash of balsamic vinegar, and salt and pepper. Then, put a lid on it and turned the heat down.
Finally, made some spaghetti noodles. Tossed the noodles with the veggie and seafood mix.
Finished by topping the pasta with chopped roma tomatoes and shaved asiago cheese.
I also made sun tea today. I didn't have enough black tea-bags, so I threw in a couple green tea-bags and chai tea-bags. Then I made a simple syrup out of brown sugar and fresh mint, to put in the iced tea.
I feel pretty darn accomplished. But a little bit lonely.