oh just die and get it over with
I've been in a really weird, antisocial mood since I came back from the cabin. Possibly, I go back there tonight. Possibly, tomorrow night. Depends on my dad. He's supposed to call me but I haven't heard from him and I want to hear from him because I want to stay if I don't have to drive tomorrow!
The thing is, I know the reason for my weird, antisocial mood but I don't want to admit it. And being at the cabin would only make it worse right now.
Bri and I got in a knock-down drag-out the morning that I left. I tried to help her and she made fun of me and I flew off the handle. And I don't regret it, and I'm not going to apologize for being offended at being made fun of. But she's not going to apologize either, because she could care less if she offended me or not. So being at the cabin would be ultra-uncomfy right now. Cuz she's got the boy and I've got........ well, just me, really. So she can ignore me and be fine. I cannot be ignored and be fine. The longer I wait to go up there, the more people that will be there, the less it matters if she ignores me or not. Sort of.
I don't want to blame ADD for everything, but seriously, it's hard for me to do everyday stuff and when I do, that's an accomplishment. Mocking someone for taking initiative to help out, when that's nearly an impossible feat, is incredibly hurtful. Why doesn't Bri understand that?
Or, more accurately, why doesn't she make any effort at understanding that?
The thing is, I know the reason for my weird, antisocial mood but I don't want to admit it. And being at the cabin would only make it worse right now.
Bri and I got in a knock-down drag-out the morning that I left. I tried to help her and she made fun of me and I flew off the handle. And I don't regret it, and I'm not going to apologize for being offended at being made fun of. But she's not going to apologize either, because she could care less if she offended me or not. So being at the cabin would be ultra-uncomfy right now. Cuz she's got the boy and I've got........ well, just me, really. So she can ignore me and be fine. I cannot be ignored and be fine. The longer I wait to go up there, the more people that will be there, the less it matters if she ignores me or not. Sort of.
I don't want to blame ADD for everything, but seriously, it's hard for me to do everyday stuff and when I do, that's an accomplishment. Mocking someone for taking initiative to help out, when that's nearly an impossible feat, is incredibly hurtful. Why doesn't Bri understand that?
Or, more accurately, why doesn't she make any effort at understanding that?