fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ;(
my life sucks. i work everyday, i feel like i had no one anymore... no one. i stand alone... lately and i have said this before... "i am not feeling like myself lately" i feel like im stoned. seriously. my emotions are deep inside me, i can feel them, and they hurt but i block them by keeping to myself. lately i care about things, but i dont let people know... i am keeping to myself. the past two or three weeks i have been in this "trance" where i am a different person... almost like a person who doesnt care, but does... i am indifferent... i am also depressed cause im losing EVERYONE. bye bye i see everyone walking out the door, on to better things in their lives, and i stand alone in mcdonalds with nothing but a dirty mcdonalds hat and tears down my face because i am becoming alone... and thats the worst thing i hate... being alone. Jessica Lundin? is this who i have to deal with my life? i am facing myself again, like out of body or like looking glass self, only i am looking at how i look at myself... i feel like two people now, one that shows and the me inside no one sees.... right now the one that no one sees is what everyone is seeing, and the one that shows isnt showing no more cause it doesnt have a reason to.. i am alone. so i show my alone self. why do i feel like this?