guess who has arrived.

[psychojb]

Friday night, around 11pm.

JB: Mom, darating ang kotse bukas ng umaga. Gisingin mo ako.

Mom: Anong oras?

JB: Mga 9 am.

Mom: Naku anak, high tide tomorrow, baka dumaan sa baha ang kotse mo. Sabihin mo, hapon na lang.

JB: Okay. (I texted the dealer to reschedule in the afternoon.)

Saturday Morning, 730am

Mom: JB, dadalin ba ang kotse ngayong umaga?

JB (half awake): Hindi, di ba sabi mo high tide? Sa hapon pa.

Mom : Padala mo na, 12 pa naman ang dating ng tubig.

JB : okay. (I texted the dealer to deliver it by 930am, she obliged.)

930 am

Mom: Nako anak, lumalaki na ang tubig. Wag mo na padala ang sasakyan.

JB: Ano? Akala ko ba eh 12 pa?

Mom: Eh yun pala yung pinakamataas na tubig.

JB: Há? Hindi puede, andiyan na sila as Monumento!

The ending: My car crossed a distance of 2 meters, the water level was ankle-high. I ended up cleaning the tires that morning.

Sunday morning, on the way to my 5th hour driving lesson, 830am

JB: I am so nervous. Can I do this?

AJ: You can do it!

I backed out of the garage with my handbrake on. Great. That’s why the car didn’t start to move and I had to step on the gas pedal. How long did it take me to realize that? Around ten fucking minutes.

Inside the car:

AJ: (makes the sign of the cross) It’s time to hold on for dear life!

JB: Fuck off!

Suffice to say that I got to my driving lessons-car and passenger-unscathed.  I asked the instructor to teach me how to parallel park (which I already forgot how to do five minutes after I actually did it), pass by the Quezon Circle (wow, it is such an accomplishment!) and use the other gears (L for steep climbs etc.).

Lunch

We met up with Jem for lunch. All of us wanted to watch Wanted but we didn’t know where to go. I was coerced to drive all the way to Makati to see the movie in Greenbelt.

It was a smooth ride (how can it not be when I was driving at 40 kph tops?). So after a while (a long while, actually) we got to Makati. We were already along Paseo when we were noticed by the Makati Police. In the intersection of Ayala and Paseo, I ended up beside the police car. Aj was about to crack a joke and then…

The police stepped out of the car and interrogated me.

Police: Sir, Bakit po wala kayong plaka?

JB: Bago po kasi ito, kalalabas lang.  (Oh my God. This is so not happening.)

Police: Ah, puede po bang makita ang mga papeles?

JB: hands out the sales invoice

Police: Sir, patingin na lang po ng lisensya.

JB: (Fuck! I’m so dead) hands out the student permit.

Police: Ah student driver, may kasama po ba kayong may lisensya?

JB: Meron po, AJ, pakita mo ang license mo.

Police: Ay naku, sir, hindi po puede itong license na ito. Non pro kasi siya. Doon po tayo sa tabi.

JB: Fuck fuck fuck. (as he drives the car to the side of the road.)

Police: Nako sir, 2000 ang ticket niyo.

JB: Sige ticketan niyo na ako.

Police: Yun ba talaga ang gusto niyo?

AJ: (whispers to JB) maglagay ka na!

JB: (whispers back) hindi ako marunong!

Police: Eh sir, usually ho sa mga ganitong sitwasyon, iniimpound pa ang sasakyan. Dagdag 1500 po yun.

AJ: Puede po bang sorry na lang?

JB: Sir, galing po ako ng Navotas. Mula po doon hanggang dito, wala po akong nasagasaan. I’m not a hazard to anyone.

Police: Eh hindi naman po yun ang punto.

JB: Oo nga, I was just saying.

Police: Ano po ba talaga ang gusto niyong gawin?

JB: Sir, kung puede kalimutan na lang natin ito. As if nothing happened.

Police: Eto sir, bababaan ko na lang ang multa niyo. 1000 na lang

AJ: (whispers) gago ka? Sabihin mo 200 na lang.

Jem: Kuya, 600 na lang!

AJ: ano ka ba, sabihin mo, 500 na lang

I fucking paid the cop 500 bucks. And it sure didn’t feel good.

It’s all in the past. Hopefully, it won’t happen again. I wish that I’d never be put in that situation again. Or if ever that happens again, I’d get myself a ticket.

With the unabated rise in fuel costs, I am hoping that less cars will be on the road. Less cars, less traffic. More room for JB.

Take aways of the day:

1. Route: Navotas - North Edsa - Quezon fucking Circle - CP Garcia - Katipunan - Libis - C5 - Makati. I know how to drive! (at 40 kph)
2. Never panic while dealing with the authorities. They prey on the fearful.
3. Parallel parking is for people who are not patient enough to look for a bigger parking space.
4. Backseat drivers actually are gifts to first time drivers.
5. Confidence!
6. Maintain your lane on the highway.
7. Quezon fucking Circle - take everything with caution.
8. Turn your headlights on when it’s already dark.
9. It’s easier to increase speed than to decrease it. (which AJ considers as bullshit)
10. Do not drive without a proper license.

Oh, and by the way, my car’s name is… Serena.