life seems different when the blood of a dead squirrel is on your hands.
ive found that having the internet and taking the time to update a livejournal are two completely different things.
but its hard. when the things that you feel compelled to discuss involve the personal business of others.
so anyhow, trying my best . . .the things i wish to script.
will is leaving this weekend for florida. it was a very short notice for both of us. im going to miss him, even though its only for a few days. i havent been away from him for this long, and although i will be kept busy with work, i dont know how it will feel without him here. not pleasant, i imagine. but at least he will be enjoying a nice little vacation.
i will probably be bored. and looking for companionship. so anyone who wouldnt mind hanging out this weekend, just let me know. the bars are open. and i can dance.
however, today wasnt an attempt at that. just so you know. although i would like that to happen, ive accepted the reality that it isnt going to. but i miss you. and im reminded of you each day i look in my closet and see them on the floor. i only want the best for you. and feel nothing shameful about that.
i havent heard from c.b. for a few days. things are so weird right now with him anyway. especially when j. invites me to dinner on friday for 'the announcement'. i know he probably feels liberated. and happy. but i also hope that i misunderstood his desperation. but most of me feels like i didnt. and that all of those times when he was drunken but serious, i just thought he was drunken and being stupid. i dont want anything to happen between us. and its hard to tell that to someone you love.