Back?
I've been gone for a while, but I'm back at least for tonight (today?).
I been on a downward trend for a while, ever since the fiasco with my insurance company started. It's too much trouble to go into detail, but at this point, I'm about as close to being unmedicated as I can get w/o being totally there. Chelsea was here Friday night and Saturday. She knows. I got a letter in the mail Friday night from Sierra Rx (wonderful Medicare), saying that since they never recieved the information they were requesting they were cutting me off from paying for my Effexor XR, completely. I would have to go through an appeal process in order to get it straightened out, w/o any guarantee, even then that they would finally approve it. MY DOCTOR SENT A PRIOR AUTH. THREE TIMES, to them, WITH the information they had requested, the last time being on the 15th of March, plus an expedite request! I COMPLETELY went to peices. Chelsea tried to calm me down, cuz I couldn't stop bawling. She told me that what I was feeling wasn't real. And she was right. The trouble is, like I told her, when I see everything around me as completely pointless, and useless, and myself the same way, to me, that IS reality. You can tell yourself till you're blue in the face, you can KNOW it in your mind but you can't tell your brain chemicals that. They don't understand. They don't have brains. I was ok, though, for the time being after that.
But today, I had it out with the insurance company AGAIN!! This nightmare has been going on for a month now. I've had to cut down the last of my old prescription of 75's to less than 37.5's a day. I only have a few day's worth left. I called them (the insurance) and this time I actually got a very kind, understanding lady, this time. When I told her the situation, and she looked into the system, I could hear her under her breath go, "Wow!" She said she saw every one of the prior auths, and the expedite request, right in front of her. She couldn't understand at all why this was happening. She put me on hold for a long time, and I thought, "FINALLY! This is going to be straightened out." She comes back and says that the last PA and expedite request weren't recieved till 4/3, and the deadline was 3/29! And that the requested information WASN"T with it! That is absolute BS!!!! They sent it...WITH the info, on the 15th of March!! She saw it there. But she said I'd STILL have to go through the whole appeal process anyway to get approval again, even though it was totally their fault!! I am so sick and tired of this. I only have a tiny amount of granules left, it will be weeks before an appeal can go through. Weeks of being completely without my AD. I fell apart on the phone. She was so understanding, though. She knew how unfair everything was. I was sobbing uncontrollably by now. I called Value Options, and the nurse was off today, so I have to wait till Tuesday to see what can be done. The CM on the phone couldn't stop me from crying. She kept saying, "Are you ok...are you ok?" I said, "How can I be ok when I'm being treated like a rubber ball, being bounced back and forth between medicare and Value Options, like I'm the pawn in the middle, while they keep playing their stupid games. In the meantime, I'm falling apart. I kept having these hysterical bursts of crying, and saw myself totally crazy on the street, and then thought about what if I had to go live with my mother just to keep a roof over my head, and that sent me off into complete hysteria. I'd be better off on the street. I was getting ready to go to the hospital, because I was afraid of what I might do. Naomi called right at that moment, and immediately after she called, Don called, and with the both of them talking to me and distracting me, I was able to calm down enough to force myself to shut off any thoughts of meds, insurance, or anything. I put the tv on, and just stayed totally focused on that the rest of the night. I got on lj tonight, and commented on so many others who are hurting right now, I would read their circumstances, and it allowed me to cry and get the sadness out in a constructive way, feeling their pain instead of mine.
Tomorrow's a new day. One day at a time.
I been on a downward trend for a while, ever since the fiasco with my insurance company started. It's too much trouble to go into detail, but at this point, I'm about as close to being unmedicated as I can get w/o being totally there. Chelsea was here Friday night and Saturday. She knows. I got a letter in the mail Friday night from Sierra Rx (wonderful Medicare), saying that since they never recieved the information they were requesting they were cutting me off from paying for my Effexor XR, completely. I would have to go through an appeal process in order to get it straightened out, w/o any guarantee, even then that they would finally approve it. MY DOCTOR SENT A PRIOR AUTH. THREE TIMES, to them, WITH the information they had requested, the last time being on the 15th of March, plus an expedite request! I COMPLETELY went to peices. Chelsea tried to calm me down, cuz I couldn't stop bawling. She told me that what I was feeling wasn't real. And she was right. The trouble is, like I told her, when I see everything around me as completely pointless, and useless, and myself the same way, to me, that IS reality. You can tell yourself till you're blue in the face, you can KNOW it in your mind but you can't tell your brain chemicals that. They don't understand. They don't have brains. I was ok, though, for the time being after that.
But today, I had it out with the insurance company AGAIN!! This nightmare has been going on for a month now. I've had to cut down the last of my old prescription of 75's to less than 37.5's a day. I only have a few day's worth left. I called them (the insurance) and this time I actually got a very kind, understanding lady, this time. When I told her the situation, and she looked into the system, I could hear her under her breath go, "Wow!" She said she saw every one of the prior auths, and the expedite request, right in front of her. She couldn't understand at all why this was happening. She put me on hold for a long time, and I thought, "FINALLY! This is going to be straightened out." She comes back and says that the last PA and expedite request weren't recieved till 4/3, and the deadline was 3/29! And that the requested information WASN"T with it! That is absolute BS!!!! They sent it...WITH the info, on the 15th of March!! She saw it there. But she said I'd STILL have to go through the whole appeal process anyway to get approval again, even though it was totally their fault!! I am so sick and tired of this. I only have a tiny amount of granules left, it will be weeks before an appeal can go through. Weeks of being completely without my AD. I fell apart on the phone. She was so understanding, though. She knew how unfair everything was. I was sobbing uncontrollably by now. I called Value Options, and the nurse was off today, so I have to wait till Tuesday to see what can be done. The CM on the phone couldn't stop me from crying. She kept saying, "Are you ok...are you ok?" I said, "How can I be ok when I'm being treated like a rubber ball, being bounced back and forth between medicare and Value Options, like I'm the pawn in the middle, while they keep playing their stupid games. In the meantime, I'm falling apart. I kept having these hysterical bursts of crying, and saw myself totally crazy on the street, and then thought about what if I had to go live with my mother just to keep a roof over my head, and that sent me off into complete hysteria. I'd be better off on the street. I was getting ready to go to the hospital, because I was afraid of what I might do. Naomi called right at that moment, and immediately after she called, Don called, and with the both of them talking to me and distracting me, I was able to calm down enough to force myself to shut off any thoughts of meds, insurance, or anything. I put the tv on, and just stayed totally focused on that the rest of the night. I got on lj tonight, and commented on so many others who are hurting right now, I would read their circumstances, and it allowed me to cry and get the sadness out in a constructive way, feeling their pain instead of mine.
Tomorrow's a new day. One day at a time.