It's hard to explain. I feel like I'm going more downhill, lately. But I still have a good day here and there. Today was pretty good.
Alot of it is situational. My mother lost 3 days of last week. She has no memory of them, whatsoever. I'm scared to death for her being there, alone. But I know if I stayed there, I would lose my mind within a week. Not just because of her, she's getting better, but that house. I know I have PTSD, and that house, if I'm in it for more than a day at a time, or two days in a week, causes me to have terrible panic attacks, related to so many things from the past while in that house. But she refuses to leave the house, and neither of us has any money to bring somebody in.
Plus Naomi tells me she's been abused by her boyfriend/fiance', a couple times, but they're still planning on getting married.
I just feel so helpless in these situations. I know I I can't do anything about Naomi, but I have to do something about my mother's situation. The problem is, I don't even have the first clue how. I'm completely alone in this, since I don't have any siblings, friends who are in a position to help me, and my kids are all at least 400 miles away, and have lives of their own. God has promised He's going to guide me, but I have to be able to hear His direction.
Situational has always been the worst for me because so often you can't control it. I have been able to figure out most of what happened at your mother's house from tidbits you have dropped here and there, and your care but frustration of being the only one that is able to handle the situation. Naomi I didn't really know about. I didn't know her and Don were divorced. I knew she had left with a man, but I didn't know any of the other details. It has to break your heart that she is being abused but getting married anyway. Having Naomi go through this, and not being able to see Adia has to drive you crazy, knowing if he is abusive to Naomi he might well turn out to be abusive to her as well. I'm sorry you are in this situation Sue, and in the few prayers I say, I will keep you in mind.
That's the hardest part is not being able to do anything about it.
Actually, Don and Naomi were never married. It was a really weird situation. They were together for nine years. They were only together in a relationship, at least as far as Naomi was concerned, for the first two years. After that, she came to live with me, but got pregnant and thought it was this awful guy named Jeffrey's, that she was seeing at the time. He kept harrassing her and wouldn't leave her alone about it, and so she went back down to Tucson to stay with Don, just to get away from Jeffrey. It turned out to be Don's baby. They never slept together, after Adia was born. After that, she stayed with Don, the last 7 years, just because Adia was his.
It does break my heart about Naomi. All I've ever wanted was for her to be happy. She's had such a hard life, because of the choices she's made, but so many were caused by her bipolar. I don't believe that Tony would be abusive to Adia. Actually, from what Naomi has said, he's been a much better father to her, because he's able to express feelings, and discipline her properly (not abusively). Don was never able to do that. The biggest thing I'm concerned about with Adia, is the emotional effect everything has had on her. She's only 6, but she's never known anything but chaos and upheaval. She's never had any kind of stability in her life.
Thank you for taking the time to explain it. What you had said about Naomi (while thinking she were married to Don) just made no sense, but I didn't want to pry. I want them both to be safe.
Alot of it is situational. My mother lost 3 days of last week. She has no memory of them, whatsoever. I'm scared to death for her being there, alone. But I know if I stayed there, I would lose my mind within a week. Not just because of her, she's getting better, but that house. I know I have PTSD, and that house, if I'm in it for more than a day at a time, or two days in a week, causes me to have terrible panic attacks, related to so many things from the past while in that house. But she refuses to leave the house, and neither of us has any money to bring somebody in.
Plus Naomi tells me she's been abused by her boyfriend/fiance', a couple times, but they're still planning on getting married.
I just feel so helpless in these situations. I know I I can't do anything about Naomi, but I have to do something about my mother's situation. The problem is, I don't even have the first clue how. I'm completely alone in this, since I don't have any siblings, friends who are in a position to help me, and my kids are all at least 400 miles away, and have lives of their own. God has promised He's going to guide me, but I have to be able to hear His direction.
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Actually, Don and Naomi were never married. It was a really weird situation. They were together for nine years. They were only together in a relationship, at least as far as Naomi was concerned, for the first two years. After that, she came to live with me, but got pregnant and thought it was this awful guy named Jeffrey's, that she was seeing at the time. He kept harrassing her and wouldn't leave her alone about it, and so she went back down to Tucson to stay with Don, just to get away from Jeffrey. It turned out to be Don's baby. They never slept together, after Adia was born. After that, she stayed with Don, the last 7 years, just because Adia was his.
It does break my heart about Naomi. All I've ever wanted was for her to be happy. She's had such a hard life, because of the choices she's made, but so many were caused by her bipolar. I don't believe that Tony would be abusive to Adia. Actually, from what Naomi has said, he's been a much better father to her, because he's able to express feelings, and discipline her properly (not abusively). Don was never able to do that. The biggest thing I'm concerned about with Adia, is the emotional effect everything has had on her. She's only 6, but she's never known anything but chaos and upheaval. She's never had any kind of stability in her life.
Thank you. I appreciate your prayers.
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*hugs*
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