"How to Lose a Guy in 8 Lessons" or "How I Wasted a Year."

Jan 07, 2009 00:56

Lesson One: Don’t date your friends. I probably should have already learned that one but what ever. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that bull shit. Dating friends is stupid, it doesn’t work. It ends badly and then you don’t have friend anymore. Then it takes years before you can remotely even be friends again. At the same time, friends should be nice to each other and understanding. Even if friend 1 is being a huge douche ass to friend 2, friend 1 should be understanding that maybe friend 2 is having a really difficult time dealing with an overall shitty situation. This should work in both directions, friend 1 should also be understanding. Cause that’s what friendship is. Like the saying, “That’s what friends are for.” Or obviously, the two people were never nearly as good of friends as they thought.

YEARS! A few months of a stupid idea for years missing a friend you once had. Shit doesn’t make sense. Anyways, it’s all bullshit. I am going to wake up early tomorrow, get my financial aid and classes and shit taken care of. I cant believe how much I have put this off. I hate it when I get stuck in the Doldrums which is a reference to the fantasy toll booth. The Pussy Cat Dolls just performed on leno and I see what Julia was saying about Kimberly being the best one.

Lesson Two: Don’t dump or set your self up to be dumped on a holiday, especially when the recipient of the dump’s family is out of town. That isn’t friendly.

Lesson 3: Don’t get drunk and call your ex. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t actually end as well as it sounds. Likewise, don’t email your ex. Don’t contact your ex in anyway what so ever, because when they said that they still wanted to be friends, they weren’t taking into consideration all that might mean to you. They don’t understand what being a friend is. It’s safe to say that, the friend thing was a downright lie. Because, friend doesn’t meant what it meant before you started dating, it now means distant and empty. It means that you don’t talk or tell each other anything, friend means lets pretend we don’t know each other at all.

Lesson 4: If you want to make plans with the person you shouldn’t be dating in the first place because there is no way it will end well. Make sure those plans are within that month, cause there is no telling what the fuck is going to be going through that crazy fucking brain within the next couple weeks. Crazy fucking brain easily applies to both sides. Easily. No plans. Especially those involving money. If some one says, we can go no matter what, it doesn’t mean, “Be a bitch.” It’s not an open invitation for you to treat your friend like shit.

Lesson 5: Don’t exchange gifts. Just don’t. Don’t break up with some one at the beginning of the holidays and say, Oh by the way, I got you a Christmas gift. If you accept the gift, don’t immediately give it back. That’s STUPID!

Lesson 6: Don’t watch fucking romantic comedies by yourself at midnight after a break up. Don’t drink after a break up. Get over it and do something else. Watching romantic comedies is a horrible idea. Its stops being a romantic comedy and starts being a romantic shitty as fuck depressing moment. Don’t cuss when you talk to them, cussing just makes you a little angrier every time, then you end up even angrier then you would have been normally and the person wont know where the hell all the hostility is coming from.

Lesson 7. Don’t act like a little shit. Don’t be a whiney bitch. Don’t listen to music you used to listen to go. Don’t accidentally let the words “I miss so and so” slip in conversation with friends who don’t care or are tired of hearing about it. They don’t care and neither should you. Fill your time with something else, go out to eat with people you haven’t talked to in a while. Don’t read their blog, don’t try and see what theyre doing online, its pathetic and will just make you feel like shit.

Lesson 8, final lesson: Don’t blog about it. NEVER EVER Blog about it. Especially don’t wait until more then a month later to blog about it. After you haven’t mentioned it once online. That’s like rubbing a dogs nose in its own shit 3 days later. Because they have the decency to act like nothing ever happened, hell, most of their friends probably don’t even know you guys dated from May ( I think ) to November. If their friends don’t know you’re dating, you probably aren’t really dating anyways. I think Chris Rock said something about that.

these lessons apply to both sides. Many to most of these mistakes are my own. Sorry for the typos.
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