...tears and lies surround my heart...
Ok, that is a line from a song I wrote, but for some reason it came into my head when I decided to post a new journal. But yeah...so for some reason, for the past couple days I've been a real bitch, I can't tell you why, because I really just don't know why. Also I've been really confused about everything, I haven't been able to sleep right, and for some reason I just can't even think, or remember things. I also have no energy. I don't know what my problem is, for me to be doing any of that, it just doesn't stop. I have been kinda down lately, I don't want to say depressed, because that's a level of sadness that I don't want to be at, especially since it took forever for me to get out of depression, and I don't want to be where I was again. I want to be really happy again. I wish I knew what was wrong with me, I just can't figure it out. Well I told my mom something that has been bothering me since I was little, and I thought that would help get rid of the way I've been feeling, but it didn't work. I don't know why, but everytime I get this way, two people start to randomly show up. One of them has already paid me a visit, and just like before, he said something to get me to not like him, which of course on my nerves...I just wish he'd realize that I don't like him anymore, then maybe he'd stop going out of his way to be an asshole, some guys are morons. I don't know, I guess that I'm just destined to be the girl every guy loves to either just be friends with, or that they want nothing to do with...I guess I just don't get it, why do guys treat me like this? Do I deserve it? Do I ask for it? I don't know, but apparently I do deserve it, or else it wouldn't keep happening to me. I haven't had sex in awhile either, and that's really getting to me...but I don't want to go back to getting hurt again...I just want to scream and cry...but since pretty much everyone is sleeping, I can only do one of those...so goodnight everyone that decides to read this...I'm going to go cry myself to sleep.