One more day....
I guess...I guess I'm doing the whole countdown because it's the only big deal I'm making out of my birthday. Or else I'd just completely forget it was coming up. This is the first year my birthday has meant nothing to me. That's an odd feeling. When you've got a million other things going on in your life, your birthday is the last thing you think of.
I wish this computer were in my room, then I'd be able to light up my candles and turn on my lava lamp and do all my shit in my room within that atmosphere. I've been taming my room down a lot. I'm about ready to take down the poster frame with the pictures of me and guys and not put it back up. Instead, I think I'm going to put pictures from Much Ado up there. Sean, did you know there's picture of you and me kissing, from Rick's party? I didn't even know that was taken. Oh well. When I have a house, I'm going to have mood rooms. I think that would be really neat. A room for my happy, peppy side, a room for my dark side, and a room for my serene side. I think the kitchen would be happy, peppy, the living room would be serene, and my bedroom would be the dark side. That would be one nice house. Better than this one, where I have to make the room fit to my mood. Everything in here is so happy it makes me sick. And my mom's knick knacks. Oh my gosh there are so many. And we have no more room to put anything! And yet she keeps shoving stuff in. I mean...I have specific collections, and a lot of my stuff is either stuff given to me, or things I saved from the 80s. Or stuff I collect, but oh my gosh, all the crud my mother orders.
Isn't it annoying how every morning, I can wake up with a fresh mind and not even think about a specific thing but by the end of the day, that one thing is what is weighing me down? I hate that. So at night, that's all I think about. And it gradually comes down on me, little by little. Starting in the morning and going through the day. Shit. I hate it. And that's what I've got my other journal for. Hopefully tomorrow won't be so bad.
I wish this computer were in my room, then I'd be able to light up my candles and turn on my lava lamp and do all my shit in my room within that atmosphere. I've been taming my room down a lot. I'm about ready to take down the poster frame with the pictures of me and guys and not put it back up. Instead, I think I'm going to put pictures from Much Ado up there. Sean, did you know there's picture of you and me kissing, from Rick's party? I didn't even know that was taken. Oh well. When I have a house, I'm going to have mood rooms. I think that would be really neat. A room for my happy, peppy side, a room for my dark side, and a room for my serene side. I think the kitchen would be happy, peppy, the living room would be serene, and my bedroom would be the dark side. That would be one nice house. Better than this one, where I have to make the room fit to my mood. Everything in here is so happy it makes me sick. And my mom's knick knacks. Oh my gosh there are so many. And we have no more room to put anything! And yet she keeps shoving stuff in. I mean...I have specific collections, and a lot of my stuff is either stuff given to me, or things I saved from the 80s. Or stuff I collect, but oh my gosh, all the crud my mother orders.
Isn't it annoying how every morning, I can wake up with a fresh mind and not even think about a specific thing but by the end of the day, that one thing is what is weighing me down? I hate that. So at night, that's all I think about. And it gradually comes down on me, little by little. Starting in the morning and going through the day. Shit. I hate it. And that's what I've got my other journal for. Hopefully tomorrow won't be so bad.