"I'm gonna fight em off--
--A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And the message coming from my eyes
Says leave it alone" -- The White Stripes
Yes. Yes I am. I lie in bed for hours just BABBLING on. It's kinda funny what I say sometimes. I could be Confucious. Or Confused.
*munches an Alotid* Ian kept me on the phone for five hours last night, till midnight, then he called me 9:30 a.m. ON A SATURDAY. x_. shit man. Well it was kinda cool, we stayed online and on the phone at the same time and took quizzes together, tis funny how much we have in common. Kind of makes me wish I liked him more. I'm AVOIDING relationships at all costs right now though since I'm moving in a month... nevermind that makes mea hypocrite. *cough*jonathan*cough* <--- though he's only on the brink of possibility.
*pops another 'toid.* I found that Altoids provide contentedness. Though Melaril, Valium, and Prozac are still favourites. I just like how "prozac" looks and sounds... so pretty... x.x SO CRAVEABLE!!!
I have come to LOOOOOVE the white stripes. With passion. My dad hates them. With possibly MORE passion. I think he should break his Waylon Jennings cd in half and slit Waylon's throat with the broken peices, but that's just me. (foamy... thanks for the inspiration.)
My gay friend Matthew (formorly known as Gay Bitch back in the Bayfield days when Cory and I were still damn good friends.) is confusing. He's so gay it's scary and yet he DROOOOLS for me on the cam. (yes, there is such a thing as bi. he doesn't like girls though. he's honest.)
*yet another altoid.* Anyway, that's fine with me, he's fucking hot and just as rock god as i could ask for him to be. Too bad he has to be gay. *sniffle*
Probably dig the gay guys because they're the only ones that don't scope out other chicks when you're hanging out with them, which is increasingly annoying if it's your boyfriend doing the scoping. "aw, the bassist of Kitty (sp?) is SO hot!" <-- that kind of got on my nerves. (though..... she is. *is bi*)
*altoidness again* wow my breath is getting cinnimon-y o.o too bad they aren't laced, I feel like LEAD right now: Heavy, Grey, and Unnoticed. And used. Like the lead in pencils: taken for granted and overused. (how poetic of me. comparing myself to a fecking pencil.)
I want to talk to Cory more like old times, just on the phone listening to each other breathing pretty much. His video games in the backround and me walking around just randomly making messes. And the occasional pause of what we're doing to scheme and make plans and make fun of humans. Ah, the life. I miss that. I'm not asking for a fucking Mansion people, I just want my friend back. Too bad long distance costs so much... and anyway, we've both changed so much I doubt it'd hardly be the same. He's got different interests now, and I definetly don't talk about most of the things we used to. For instance: I forget anything I was going to say to him before I can say it. Then I say something STUPID and we both end up going at each other's throats. Another disadvantage to IM is that you can't sense sarcasm: and a lot of problems arise over that. If you ask if someone's sarcastic you look like an idiot, if you don't then you can take it the wrong way.
Ugh... I'm so tiiiiired. I cleaned my room today, it's definetly cool. Now where the hell do I find my blankets.....?
*another altoid* So I'm talking to my friend Ana... (or that was her name last month anyway. Every time I talk to her she ends up changing her name. She claimed it was "kojima" last time we talked.) And she just pinned me to the wall with mouldy sausages.
Another thing I miss about Cory: He roleplayed better than most of the people i've rp'd with before. everyone else doesn't take it serious and ends up killing me with some mouldy food or something. Ugh. *pops a 'toid.*
I asked everyone that came online today to describe me in three words, and here's what they've said (not listed in threes.):
>> goofy
>> hyper
>> insistant
>> nice
>> interesting
>> skitzo *glares at shi*
>> kinky
>> wild
>> weird.
>> strict magical twig.... (Caroline: My Anti-drug.)
>> uh, canadian, eggplant. (Michael you freak.)
thanks for those of you who did that, i have no idea why the hell I asked, but whatev. Anyway, guess I just wanted to see how many people said "cold, whiney, bitch." Which was none. Thank you so much. Then again, Cory never answered so that leaves a fifty/fifty chance that will be added to the list, depending on his mood. which is mostly emo.
Where'd the good ol' days go?
Fuck. Now you just depressed me you assholes!!! Writing is not an escape, it's a fucking asylum.
--Lillian