what the hell was I thkning not a few hours ago
I am not fucking happy, I am fucking sad as a mother fucker and pissed beyond belief. Well, my anger has no grounding, my sadness does...
All I ever want to do is talk to my girlfriend alone for 5 minutes, all I want to do when I see her is possibly have 5-10 minutes to converse with her alone, or for fucks sake, at least get to hold her in my arms, but things never seem to be right when it comes to Tom and women. Theres always someone calling...wait I don't mean someone, I mean Tim. Can he just leave some people alone for more than 5 minutes...does his life revolve around the phone and calling other people. I mean, doesn't the thought of going somewhere, getting a job, or doing something constructive seem like a fucking possiblility? It seems like it isn't...he does nothing but call. Maybe I am going a little overboard with this, but doesn't it seem like something I should be at least a little concerned about, at least maybe a little irritated when someone else talks to my girlfriend more than I do, and when I can get the opportunity to talk to her, it has to be with him three-wayed? I mean come on, Tim may be going through what he calls "problems" right now, but for sweet mother of fucking christ's sake, don't we all. Let me be free of this shit, let me feel free to speak to my girlfriend in fucking peace without having Tim sitting in on the fucking conversation EVERY GOD DAMN TIME. I mean fuck, even today, I finally got a chance to see Brooke, spend time with Brooke, but right when we are starting to chill and talk...I WONDER WHO CALLS... Take a guess...yes, Tim, and he keeps her talking on the phone for a large portion of the time I was there to see her; Not have her talk on the phone to Tim, or have the phone passed to me to listen to him talk. I mean, I harbor no hard feelings towards anyone, but I swear, to the fucking end of my life, I will not let the shit that always happens to me happen again. I always start to like a girl so much that you could call it love, which yes, in fact, I can say that I am beginning to like Brooke so much that it might not be good for myself, noting all the obstacles that are in both our ways, but always, someone else comes and fucks the shit up, someone else comes and takes the woman I am falling for away, someone always ruins my life. i just hope, for my sake, Tim's sake, Brooke's sake, and all my friend's sake that this doesn't end up like literally 5 of my other relationships...and good god, not right after I felt the first signs of solace from Kelly's constant torment...you know, I felt like this was the best thing that could be happening to me, now look at me, I am acting like a mother fucking asshole over nothing. I am nothing but a simple, paranoid asshole...someone just fucking take me far away and leave me in a damn cabin to fester and rot alone...none of this would happen then, none of this shit would happen.
All I ever want to do is talk to my girlfriend alone for 5 minutes, all I want to do when I see her is possibly have 5-10 minutes to converse with her alone, or for fucks sake, at least get to hold her in my arms, but things never seem to be right when it comes to Tom and women. Theres always someone calling...wait I don't mean someone, I mean Tim. Can he just leave some people alone for more than 5 minutes...does his life revolve around the phone and calling other people. I mean, doesn't the thought of going somewhere, getting a job, or doing something constructive seem like a fucking possiblility? It seems like it isn't...he does nothing but call. Maybe I am going a little overboard with this, but doesn't it seem like something I should be at least a little concerned about, at least maybe a little irritated when someone else talks to my girlfriend more than I do, and when I can get the opportunity to talk to her, it has to be with him three-wayed? I mean come on, Tim may be going through what he calls "problems" right now, but for sweet mother of fucking christ's sake, don't we all. Let me be free of this shit, let me feel free to speak to my girlfriend in fucking peace without having Tim sitting in on the fucking conversation EVERY GOD DAMN TIME. I mean fuck, even today, I finally got a chance to see Brooke, spend time with Brooke, but right when we are starting to chill and talk...I WONDER WHO CALLS... Take a guess...yes, Tim, and he keeps her talking on the phone for a large portion of the time I was there to see her; Not have her talk on the phone to Tim, or have the phone passed to me to listen to him talk. I mean, I harbor no hard feelings towards anyone, but I swear, to the fucking end of my life, I will not let the shit that always happens to me happen again. I always start to like a girl so much that you could call it love, which yes, in fact, I can say that I am beginning to like Brooke so much that it might not be good for myself, noting all the obstacles that are in both our ways, but always, someone else comes and fucks the shit up, someone else comes and takes the woman I am falling for away, someone always ruins my life. i just hope, for my sake, Tim's sake, Brooke's sake, and all my friend's sake that this doesn't end up like literally 5 of my other relationships...and good god, not right after I felt the first signs of solace from Kelly's constant torment...you know, I felt like this was the best thing that could be happening to me, now look at me, I am acting like a mother fucking asshole over nothing. I am nothing but a simple, paranoid asshole...someone just fucking take me far away and leave me in a damn cabin to fester and rot alone...none of this would happen then, none of this shit would happen.