i wrote this 2003 8-11 so old tired and fitting in another journal
im so good at hiding it. pretending to know who i am now that i was taken away... showing im still comfortable in my skin...showing that nothing ever happened....i shove it soo far down nobody could ever tell what i was ever going through....half of them dont...i shove it soo far down that i shove a little bit of myself down too ..leaving nothing in my eyes except a empty stare....nothings there ...im a vampire..immortal..it looks as though im bored but thats the facade chemical reaction to cutting off all the nerve cables in the daylight.... play it cool and remind myself to keep breathing..keep walking ...keep talking....i question what to keep going for...it would be so easy if it wernt so perplexed..so unsure......and i fear i may become a hollow shell..the only thing left after climbing out of this ...and i look a hundred miles inside myself ....and we can hear nothing ..its dead air..the children are in their beds sleeping ...dreaming of lollipops and playgrounds....the swings that sway in the wind dont even make a sound..nothings there...not even lightning flashes
fifty thousand miles away...you can hear a door and behind this door is the smallest scratching sound in the world...well just ignore that for now
youll see me smile..and youll never know...
im a stranger in this town
pict name:edge in a dark place
*today
the old book<3
“No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I
am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and
looking forward to what lies ahead,“ Philippians 3:13