The Wrecking Stroller
So the other day Ren and I received this wonderous Transformers stroller from the registry. Turns from baby seat to basinet stroller, to regular toddler stroller. That's when it hit me, you know, the fact that I was gonna be a father. To all who know me, finding this out was a murderous shock to begin with. First, people had bought insurance in me being single the rest of my life. Second, they invested in a 401k stating I would never be a "poppa'.
So that leaves me here, proving everyone wrong, unintentionally, yet its a good feeling. I have done a lot of wrong in my life, made some crucial life altering mistakes. But, for the first time, I seriously feel that this one was no blemish. I felt that I was destined to do this, almost like a true right of passage into maturity and responsibility (two things I ran from all my life).
People keep throwing me the same line over and over again; "Are you nervous?"
Truth is not really. Why you ask?
#1 I am super confident in myself these days. I know whatever decision I make for Ayden will be the smartest (not to mention morst affordable) way to go.
#2 This is my "carpe diem". This is my change to make my childs life better than mine, more stable. I know every waking moment with him will be one filled with love for him and his ideals, and his way of life.
So that leaves us with the most important question to people; "How you gonna afford a baby?"
To tell you the truth, the most I can give you all is a shrug. I live day by day, stitch by stitch. Right now I am in between jobs due to my degenerative disc disease. Though the assholes at my old work dissed me based on my back, I have been looking more ferosciously than I have in the past. So, we'll see. My girl makes a descent amount right now where it's not killings us. However, I really do not like being the 'sad puppy". God, I feel old.
Lastly, good night all tomorrow is Ren's first Mothers Day, Mom's in town from NC, thats the big hooplah!
So that leaves me here, proving everyone wrong, unintentionally, yet its a good feeling. I have done a lot of wrong in my life, made some crucial life altering mistakes. But, for the first time, I seriously feel that this one was no blemish. I felt that I was destined to do this, almost like a true right of passage into maturity and responsibility (two things I ran from all my life).
People keep throwing me the same line over and over again; "Are you nervous?"
Truth is not really. Why you ask?
#1 I am super confident in myself these days. I know whatever decision I make for Ayden will be the smartest (not to mention morst affordable) way to go.
#2 This is my "carpe diem". This is my change to make my childs life better than mine, more stable. I know every waking moment with him will be one filled with love for him and his ideals, and his way of life.
So that leaves us with the most important question to people; "How you gonna afford a baby?"
To tell you the truth, the most I can give you all is a shrug. I live day by day, stitch by stitch. Right now I am in between jobs due to my degenerative disc disease. Though the assholes at my old work dissed me based on my back, I have been looking more ferosciously than I have in the past. So, we'll see. My girl makes a descent amount right now where it's not killings us. However, I really do not like being the 'sad puppy". God, I feel old.
Lastly, good night all tomorrow is Ren's first Mothers Day, Mom's in town from NC, thats the big hooplah!