What Happens When I Don't Post For Over A Month And Am Left Alone Too Long
This week has been exceptionally weird because, even though my company has been pretty high in demand and not very high in supply due to having to work, it's so freaking lonely. Tuesday afternoon/evening, I deposited my latest paycheck and finally got around to buying Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan. And when I say I finally got around to buying it, I think I actually mean that it finally got around to coming out because I've been waiting for it ever since I finished Paper Towns and watched 100 Questions in 4 Minutes. And I now have just over 50 pages left in it (which will be split between my break at work tomorrow...which was supposed to be my day off, by the way...and that awkward period of time between me getting home from work and me going over to my grandparents' house because they feel the need to feed me at some point this week...even if it's only hours before my parents get back.)
See, I think the problem is that, when I'm hanging out with people right now (well, not *right now* and certainly not later tonight...at least I hope not) they're not the people with whom I really wish I was hanging out. (Damn, I tried to avoid ending with a preposition and still failed.) I mean, Tuesday I was all alone (unless you count the company of Will Grayson, Will Grayson, Maura, Tiny Cooper and the rest of the cast of this absolutely fabulous book.) I was all alone making the worlds best burger. I was all alone eating it on the patio, catching the last few rays of sunlight. I was all alone drinking wine while watching the newest episode of NCIS. And all the time, I really wanted someone there. I don't think it really mattered who. Just someone who would listen to any inane thing that would pop into my head, sound halfway clever, and then make it's exit via my vocal chords. So, I guess...I really wanted Cambra to be there. And I knew she couldn't because she's in Dayton doing graduate school-y things like looking at cadavers and the like, but she's the one who would always appreciate the stupid things I felt necessary to say while watching TV.
And then last night. Oh, last night. Last night, I went to the Lake Erie Monsters game with a couple girls from work and a few of their friends. And I'm not saying that these girls are bad people. They're not. In fact, until half way through the game, I was having a blast! They were funny, we like a lot of the same things, I didn't feel awkward around them like I normally do when I meet new people. I spoke a lot which just never happens when I'm in a new group. I like feeling things out a bit before I try to be me around people who don't know what I'm all about. But then I realized that they were me...just me four years ago. And that me...well, she was kind of annoying at her first hockey game. Didn't help that they're the same age as four-years-ago-me. And all I kept thinking was "Oh, my God, I wish Maria was here because we'd totally be making fun of these girls who have clearly never been to a hockey game before in their entire lives." I think it might have annoyed me because they were talking about how cute the Monsters were when they clearly haven't seen the epitome of hotness in hockey.
So, I'm hoping tonight, I'm actually hanging out with the person I want to be around. It's not that I'm doubtful of it. I'm just afraid I'm wrong. Because if not tonight, then I've wasted my entire time this week.
This is why I don't think I'll ever be able to live alone. I get all crazy like this, like I did freshman year of college after Amanda left and before Liz moved in. Longest. month. of. my. life.
But, anyway, it's time for me to shower, eat dinner, drop off some keys at my dad's stupid meeting which he's not going to be at because he's in Las Vegas which is why I'm dropping off keys in the first place...and then I'm out to Strongsville to watch Miami play Boston College in the NCAA hockey semi-finals.
End Transmission.
See, I think the problem is that, when I'm hanging out with people right now (well, not *right now* and certainly not later tonight...at least I hope not) they're not the people with whom I really wish I was hanging out. (Damn, I tried to avoid ending with a preposition and still failed.) I mean, Tuesday I was all alone (unless you count the company of Will Grayson, Will Grayson, Maura, Tiny Cooper and the rest of the cast of this absolutely fabulous book.) I was all alone making the worlds best burger. I was all alone eating it on the patio, catching the last few rays of sunlight. I was all alone drinking wine while watching the newest episode of NCIS. And all the time, I really wanted someone there. I don't think it really mattered who. Just someone who would listen to any inane thing that would pop into my head, sound halfway clever, and then make it's exit via my vocal chords. So, I guess...I really wanted Cambra to be there. And I knew she couldn't because she's in Dayton doing graduate school-y things like looking at cadavers and the like, but she's the one who would always appreciate the stupid things I felt necessary to say while watching TV.
And then last night. Oh, last night. Last night, I went to the Lake Erie Monsters game with a couple girls from work and a few of their friends. And I'm not saying that these girls are bad people. They're not. In fact, until half way through the game, I was having a blast! They were funny, we like a lot of the same things, I didn't feel awkward around them like I normally do when I meet new people. I spoke a lot which just never happens when I'm in a new group. I like feeling things out a bit before I try to be me around people who don't know what I'm all about. But then I realized that they were me...just me four years ago. And that me...well, she was kind of annoying at her first hockey game. Didn't help that they're the same age as four-years-ago-me. And all I kept thinking was "Oh, my God, I wish Maria was here because we'd totally be making fun of these girls who have clearly never been to a hockey game before in their entire lives." I think it might have annoyed me because they were talking about how cute the Monsters were when they clearly haven't seen the epitome of hotness in hockey.
So, I'm hoping tonight, I'm actually hanging out with the person I want to be around. It's not that I'm doubtful of it. I'm just afraid I'm wrong. Because if not tonight, then I've wasted my entire time this week.
This is why I don't think I'll ever be able to live alone. I get all crazy like this, like I did freshman year of college after Amanda left and before Liz moved in. Longest. month. of. my. life.
But, anyway, it's time for me to shower, eat dinner, drop off some keys at my dad's stupid meeting which he's not going to be at because he's in Las Vegas which is why I'm dropping off keys in the first place...and then I'm out to Strongsville to watch Miami play Boston College in the NCAA hockey semi-finals.
End Transmission.