ho-tel, mo-tel, holiday innnnnnnnnnnnnn.
I've been bored lately, so I discovered a new way of amusing myself. Apply at a shitload of places, go to interviews, speak nothing but bullshit and see if they hire me. A Hollister interview was on Tuesday. "So why do you want to work here?" "Because there's a shitload of hot girls. Durr. That's the only reason why anyone would want to work here." And they just stared at me. I had one at American Eagle yesterday, and they asked the ever so classic question "What are a few things you dislike about yourself?" And I referred them to my April 14th live journal entry. "Knock yourself out."
It's so funny how those goody goody douchebags will say anything to get hired. There was this one motherfucker there who had the audacity to say, "Oh man, American Eagle is my dream job." Goddamn, I wanted to dive over the table and castrate that motherfucker. Anyone who thinks American Eagle of all places is a fucking "dream job" doesn't deserve to keep their fucking balls. I really hope they hire him and then they hire me just so I can spend my days talking nothing but shit to that guy. Plus there's this one really hot girl whom I wouldn't mind showing my world to.
This myspace banner ad has really been pissing me off:
How dare they put pictures of Cedric and Omar on there next to the words "BEST NEW MUSIC". Maybe if the words APRIL and FOOLS had been under it, it wouldn't have bothered me so much, but they weren't. I'm fucking sick to death of everyone praising the Mars Volta so much. That band sucks so much fucking dick. Living proof that if I buy a synthesizer, some phaser and flanger pedals, play in ridiculously odd time signatures: 5/4, 7/8, 11/4, 89237498273324/A, write lyrics based on words pulled out of the dictionary at random, and play songs riddled with feedback for forty five fucking minutes, I too, can have a successful band. And what's the deal with them opening for themselves, who the fuck do they think they are? Motley Crue? Ugh. Fuck that band.
And what's the deal with Nicole Richie getting so fucking hot? Seriously, that came right out of left field. Proof that any girl can be fucking hot. So long as they lose fifty pounds.
And what's the deal with American Idol? This whole Constantine-getting-voted-off bullshit is an outrage! That guy was seriously cool. And why hasn't that Scott Savol bastard been eliminated yet? Look how fucking ugly that guy is:
http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/scott_savol/
Fuck. There is absolutely no way that pig motherfucker can win. But then again, that orangutan looking bitch Fantasia won last year, so I guess it wouldn't be too surprising. I guess America has some sort of bestial fetish. Dubya should have addressed this Thursday. Not fucking North Korea or Social Security or any of that irrelevant nonsense. The travesty that is American Idol should have been his number one priority. Way to make me regret my vote.
In other news, apparently we're playing a show on the 12th, at Sams. It should be like a comeback show of sorts. Since we haven't really played a show in something like three years. Anyway, if you live in San Antonio and you're reading this, you should definitely go. I think we're playing with a bunch of gay bands, so just watch us, and when they go on you have two choices: a) turn your back and give them all the finger or b) leave. I also think we're going to throw a huge party afterwards, so it's definitely going to be off the hook.
This city is most certainly going to get fucked in the ass. With no fucking lube. And that my friends, is a true fucking story.
And this post is really going nowhere.
It's so funny how those goody goody douchebags will say anything to get hired. There was this one motherfucker there who had the audacity to say, "Oh man, American Eagle is my dream job." Goddamn, I wanted to dive over the table and castrate that motherfucker. Anyone who thinks American Eagle of all places is a fucking "dream job" doesn't deserve to keep their fucking balls. I really hope they hire him and then they hire me just so I can spend my days talking nothing but shit to that guy. Plus there's this one really hot girl whom I wouldn't mind showing my world to.
This myspace banner ad has really been pissing me off:
How dare they put pictures of Cedric and Omar on there next to the words "BEST NEW MUSIC". Maybe if the words APRIL and FOOLS had been under it, it wouldn't have bothered me so much, but they weren't. I'm fucking sick to death of everyone praising the Mars Volta so much. That band sucks so much fucking dick. Living proof that if I buy a synthesizer, some phaser and flanger pedals, play in ridiculously odd time signatures: 5/4, 7/8, 11/4, 89237498273324/A, write lyrics based on words pulled out of the dictionary at random, and play songs riddled with feedback for forty five fucking minutes, I too, can have a successful band. And what's the deal with them opening for themselves, who the fuck do they think they are? Motley Crue? Ugh. Fuck that band.
And what's the deal with Nicole Richie getting so fucking hot? Seriously, that came right out of left field. Proof that any girl can be fucking hot. So long as they lose fifty pounds.
And what's the deal with American Idol? This whole Constantine-getting-voted-off bullshit is an outrage! That guy was seriously cool. And why hasn't that Scott Savol bastard been eliminated yet? Look how fucking ugly that guy is:
http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/scott_savol/
Fuck. There is absolutely no way that pig motherfucker can win. But then again, that orangutan looking bitch Fantasia won last year, so I guess it wouldn't be too surprising. I guess America has some sort of bestial fetish. Dubya should have addressed this Thursday. Not fucking North Korea or Social Security or any of that irrelevant nonsense. The travesty that is American Idol should have been his number one priority. Way to make me regret my vote.
In other news, apparently we're playing a show on the 12th, at Sams. It should be like a comeback show of sorts. Since we haven't really played a show in something like three years. Anyway, if you live in San Antonio and you're reading this, you should definitely go. I think we're playing with a bunch of gay bands, so just watch us, and when they go on you have two choices: a) turn your back and give them all the finger or b) leave. I also think we're going to throw a huge party afterwards, so it's definitely going to be off the hook.
This city is most certainly going to get fucked in the ass. With no fucking lube. And that my friends, is a true fucking story.
And this post is really going nowhere.