phonies, fakes, and rumors
i have put up with so much shit from people, shit that i didn't even know existed till i was told by others. I don't know who i should believe anymore... i dedicate myself to the people i love, then i find out who really would die for me while another would watch me suffer then leave me there. I guess recently i found out who really is a fake. I hate that, when people don't tell u something like say you are a prude i mean if it really is a problem, u tell it to there face and say u should improve. TAlking about people behind there backs i know is human nature but what u say is different. I have to say that the only people i talk behind there backs are those who have offended me deeply and those who i am worried about.
I don't what to do, say anymore. I just need people that don't have these major problems that affect them so i dont have to feel like shit watching them decay and knowing that nothing i do can help them. My heart is just to big, i feel like i can change people but i can't and it saddens me. I want people to tell me the honest truth, they don't call me because...
they don't want to do things with me because...
i want people to tell me these things so that i can fix some of my flaws and be a better person.
and, yes my values are strong that i dont go tramping around for sex, thats something to be proud of in my book. I dont do drugs, I am not a slut, and yes i want to wait untill i find someone i love to have sex with, i don't want to do it now because no way in hell will i be able to handle something so deep that intercorse is. So if anyone out there thinks that i am prudish let them think whatever they want. I am sorry that i have strong values about sex. I am sorry that maybe i started late compared to most with fooling around. You know what, i'm not sorry, scratch all that. These are my values, if you have a problem with my values you have a problem with me.
this one goes out to everyone,
if you feel the need to talk about people, why not tell those things to the persons face instead?
damn my life is just i don't even know how to describe it now. It's a mix of things. I don't know what I want and i don't know what i need to do to do whatever it is that i want to do with my life.
so confusing it is to be 15 on the verge of 16
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birthday countdown: 45 days
I don't what to do, say anymore. I just need people that don't have these major problems that affect them so i dont have to feel like shit watching them decay and knowing that nothing i do can help them. My heart is just to big, i feel like i can change people but i can't and it saddens me. I want people to tell me the honest truth, they don't call me because...
they don't want to do things with me because...
i want people to tell me these things so that i can fix some of my flaws and be a better person.
and, yes my values are strong that i dont go tramping around for sex, thats something to be proud of in my book. I dont do drugs, I am not a slut, and yes i want to wait untill i find someone i love to have sex with, i don't want to do it now because no way in hell will i be able to handle something so deep that intercorse is. So if anyone out there thinks that i am prudish let them think whatever they want. I am sorry that i have strong values about sex. I am sorry that maybe i started late compared to most with fooling around. You know what, i'm not sorry, scratch all that. These are my values, if you have a problem with my values you have a problem with me.
this one goes out to everyone,
if you feel the need to talk about people, why not tell those things to the persons face instead?
damn my life is just i don't even know how to describe it now. It's a mix of things. I don't know what I want and i don't know what i need to do to do whatever it is that i want to do with my life.
so confusing it is to be 15 on the verge of 16
.
..
...
....
...
..
.
birthday countdown: 45 days