(no subject)
“have you ever been in love, Jordan?”
Jordan cracked his knuckles. What kind of a question was that? His head spun around and around. “What kind of a question is that?”
“An important one,” Janis continued, “important if you really want to figure out what’s wrong with you.”
Jordan closed his eyes and thought of triangles. He counted in binary. He chewed on the inside of his lip and tried hard not to panic. Oh one one oh one one oh oh oh one one oh one one one one oh one one one oh one one oh oh one one oh oh one oh one. “Maybe. I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe, I don’t know.” Jordan watched his shoelace turn into a snake. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“You have to know these things, Jordan. Nobody doesn’t know if they have or haven’t been in love.”
“Nobody?” Jordan chewed on his lip, “No one at all? Nobody? Not even one person? No one?”
“Maybe some people, Jordan, but not many. Not a lot of people.”
“Why didn’t you say that, then?” Jordan’s eyes started to sting, “Why didn’t you say, maybe some people, but not a lot of people, maybe some-why did you say nobody at all no one not even one person?” Jordan closed his eyes tight and opened them, closed them and opened them, “why don’t you say what you mean? Why not? Why not say what you mean?”
Janis sighed and looked at her watch. Jordan looked at the uneven hem of her skirt and choked on his nervousness. “Jordan, we’re out of time for today. I’ll see you in three days. I’m going to write you a new prescription for your medication.”
“The same pills?” Jordan stared at her boney hands writing down his prescription on a yellow sheet of paper and he could see her bones pop out of her skin. “The same ones? The same ones I take now? The same pills?”
“Yes, Jordan. Is that alright? Here you go.” Janis held out the prescription for him.
Jordan stared at her hand until it all turned to bones, bones holding out this paper ordering him to get more pills, bones holding pills, just his pills dancing in his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I should take that,” Jordan said. “I don’t know.”
“You need your pills, Jordan, don’t be drastic.” Janis waved the sheet of paper in his face. He watched her bones danced around. Quickly, he grabbed the paper from her. He winced.
“You’re fine, Jordan. See that? You’re alright. I’ll see you in three days.”
“Three. Three days. Only three days, just three days, I’ll see you in three days.” Jordan said.
“Yes, Jordan-now goodbye. Really.”
“Right. Goodbye. Yeah. Bye. Goodbye.” Jordan stumbled out the door. He pressed the down button the elevator six times. He couldn’t remember what he had told Janis. His stomach sank.
Jordan held his prescription paper out in front of him and he looked at every dent in the paper. He looked at the curls above Janis’s lowercase A’s and the sharp upstroke of her lowercase Q’s and the long lines on her uppercase T’s. He noticed how her I’s were dotted with bubbles, but none of them were perfect circles. He noticed how the ink was uneven from one letter to the next. He noticed how her lines were not straight. Jordan got a headache and folded the paper neatly into his pocket. He took it out and folded it again. He took it out and folded it again. He took it out and folded it again.
At the pharmacy, they already had his pills ready for him to go. They knew Jordan. They liked Jordan because he went down the aisles straightening things out and he talked to each worker and asked them about their lives instead of telling them about the weather. He didn’t say “how are you?” either, he said things like “Do you have a happy brother? Do you have a sad aunt? If you have a dog, is it sick?” because those were the things he wanted to know. Jordan was scared to take his pills but calmed down once he felt their exact weight in his palm. He turned excitedly to the worker Jose, and he said “There are exactly 64 pills in this bottle. Exactly. Exactly 64. There are 64 of them here exactly, each pill counts up to 64 pills total exactly.”
Jose smiled back and said, “I’m sure you are right Mr. Jordan, I’m sure, that makes 32 days of pills.”
“That’s right,” Jordan said. He was so excited he couldn’t stand still so he started to bounce from his toes to his heels, “That’s right, thirty two days, thirty two.” He paid for his pills and walked to his apartment. He opened his door and then he closed it again. He opened his door and then he closed it again. He opened his door, and then he closed it again, and then he opened it and went inside.
Meanwhile, Jordan’s mother wondered why he never called, and she mashed potatoes for Jordan’s father.
Jordan cracked his knuckles. What kind of a question was that? His head spun around and around. “What kind of a question is that?”
“An important one,” Janis continued, “important if you really want to figure out what’s wrong with you.”
Jordan closed his eyes and thought of triangles. He counted in binary. He chewed on the inside of his lip and tried hard not to panic. Oh one one oh one one oh oh oh one one oh one one one one oh one one one oh one one oh oh one one oh oh one oh one. “Maybe. I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe, I don’t know.” Jordan watched his shoelace turn into a snake. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“You have to know these things, Jordan. Nobody doesn’t know if they have or haven’t been in love.”
“Nobody?” Jordan chewed on his lip, “No one at all? Nobody? Not even one person? No one?”
“Maybe some people, Jordan, but not many. Not a lot of people.”
“Why didn’t you say that, then?” Jordan’s eyes started to sting, “Why didn’t you say, maybe some people, but not a lot of people, maybe some-why did you say nobody at all no one not even one person?” Jordan closed his eyes tight and opened them, closed them and opened them, “why don’t you say what you mean? Why not? Why not say what you mean?”
Janis sighed and looked at her watch. Jordan looked at the uneven hem of her skirt and choked on his nervousness. “Jordan, we’re out of time for today. I’ll see you in three days. I’m going to write you a new prescription for your medication.”
“The same pills?” Jordan stared at her boney hands writing down his prescription on a yellow sheet of paper and he could see her bones pop out of her skin. “The same ones? The same ones I take now? The same pills?”
“Yes, Jordan. Is that alright? Here you go.” Janis held out the prescription for him.
Jordan stared at her hand until it all turned to bones, bones holding out this paper ordering him to get more pills, bones holding pills, just his pills dancing in his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I should take that,” Jordan said. “I don’t know.”
“You need your pills, Jordan, don’t be drastic.” Janis waved the sheet of paper in his face. He watched her bones danced around. Quickly, he grabbed the paper from her. He winced.
“You’re fine, Jordan. See that? You’re alright. I’ll see you in three days.”
“Three. Three days. Only three days, just three days, I’ll see you in three days.” Jordan said.
“Yes, Jordan-now goodbye. Really.”
“Right. Goodbye. Yeah. Bye. Goodbye.” Jordan stumbled out the door. He pressed the down button the elevator six times. He couldn’t remember what he had told Janis. His stomach sank.
Jordan held his prescription paper out in front of him and he looked at every dent in the paper. He looked at the curls above Janis’s lowercase A’s and the sharp upstroke of her lowercase Q’s and the long lines on her uppercase T’s. He noticed how her I’s were dotted with bubbles, but none of them were perfect circles. He noticed how the ink was uneven from one letter to the next. He noticed how her lines were not straight. Jordan got a headache and folded the paper neatly into his pocket. He took it out and folded it again. He took it out and folded it again. He took it out and folded it again.
At the pharmacy, they already had his pills ready for him to go. They knew Jordan. They liked Jordan because he went down the aisles straightening things out and he talked to each worker and asked them about their lives instead of telling them about the weather. He didn’t say “how are you?” either, he said things like “Do you have a happy brother? Do you have a sad aunt? If you have a dog, is it sick?” because those were the things he wanted to know. Jordan was scared to take his pills but calmed down once he felt their exact weight in his palm. He turned excitedly to the worker Jose, and he said “There are exactly 64 pills in this bottle. Exactly. Exactly 64. There are 64 of them here exactly, each pill counts up to 64 pills total exactly.”
Jose smiled back and said, “I’m sure you are right Mr. Jordan, I’m sure, that makes 32 days of pills.”
“That’s right,” Jordan said. He was so excited he couldn’t stand still so he started to bounce from his toes to his heels, “That’s right, thirty two days, thirty two.” He paid for his pills and walked to his apartment. He opened his door and then he closed it again. He opened his door and then he closed it again. He opened his door, and then he closed it again, and then he opened it and went inside.
Meanwhile, Jordan’s mother wondered why he never called, and she mashed potatoes for Jordan’s father.