I can't let go.

[psychicchaos]

I cant cry, the tears want to flow but they won't. I need a release and there is nothing for me. I'm tired of being dominant, tired of being in charge all the time tired of doing the right thing. I'm tired and I can't fly anymore, there are no more happy thoughts. I'm not a lost boy anymore I have no reason to bangarang, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. My guard is constantly up, there is no safety, security or comfort. It's just a constant, mediocre existence. I just really want to bury my face in someone shoulder and let go and let it all out. But at this point I feel like I've been too shitty a friend to call anyone because it feels like i'm just using them.

I am Jacks dry tear ducts.

Fuck.