Pizz-art Tizz-oo
After my mom "gave me her blessing to leave" (she kicked me out), I moved in with my step-dad.
Scott had always been an awesome... AWESOME father figure from when he'd first met my mom when I was two, until she divorced him when I was ten. I'm not sure exactly why they divorced. Both sides of their stories are completely different.
Either my mom cheated on my dad or he treated her badly.
This is the part of my little 'biography' where I have to be very tactful, because I want to be honest, but I don't want my friends to think less of me.
The year I left my Mom's house, I slept with a handful of guys. Not a whole lot, just a few, but it was irresponsible of me and I wish I would have saved myself for Russ.
It's not that I was "rebelling" or anything so drastic, I honestly thought that it was perfectly okay. My female role model constantly had men in and out of her life.
It took a really frightening pregnancy scare for me to realize that sex isn't a game. It's something that should be saved for someone special for a reason. Of course, it was a false alarm, but it was enough to knock some sense into me.
Most of the events after graduation till present are vague. Only a few really stand out.
For one, when my step dad took my mom to court to get custody of my little sister, Brigiite. Technically she's my half sister, but I can't possibly think of her as only 'half' sister.
You wouldn't think that this event would really bother me, and it didn't until both parents started trying to get me involved in the case. My step dad bribed me by giving me a job, and my mom bribed me by giving me what I'd always wanted... a good relationship with her. I refused to play a role in this, until my mom subpoened me.
When the judge asked me which parent I thought was more fit, I told her that my step dad was.
Brigitte was then ruled to lived one week with my step dad and one week with my mom. I really hate that it ended up that way, because I think it's really exhausting Brigitte and neither one of my parents treat her exceptionally well.
A little over a year ago, Mattbeau did a taroh reading of my furture. He said that I would date one more man for primarily lustful reasons, then I would find my true love.
I have no earthling idea why I dated Rick. It was primarily based on lust... but looking back I have no freak'n idea why. He wasn't particularly attractive, he didn't have a great personality, he didn't even have money.
The only thing I could think of was his age. He was 30 and I think perhaps subconciously I wanted a male in my life to fill that 'older male slot' that my father had left open.
It lasted for a whopping three months because I realized that I didn't have any emotional attatchment to him whatsoever.
Shortly after, Russ came along. At first, I would never have invisioned me dating him. He was a stereotypical stoner-itallian from NY.
But after three months of friendship, I realized that he was a very special guy and he had so much more to offer me that any amount of money.
I know that I talk about Russ a lot.
I'm sure it can get a little annoying.
But you have no idea how much he means to me. When Matt passed away, he was by my side like glue. He was there beside me when it first sunk in that Matt was gone.
I had been at Jake's house and Rusty called. I didn't pick up the phone at first because we were watching some movie and I didn't want to be rude.
After Rusty called the third time, I had to pick up and he told me the news. It didn't sink in right away, so I called Russ' roomie's girlfriend and asked her and Russ to pick me up. We were almost back to my apartment when I broke down.
He held me all night that night.
He held me all night the night of the funeral, and he held me all night the day my step dad fired me.
I don't know how Matt knew it, but I believe with all my heart that Russ is the 'one'. He fills up the empty spaces that needed filling. :) He isn't the most romantic guy ever, he doesnt buy me roses or write poetry.
But when I come home and I'm tired from work, and the house is completely spottless... or when he comes home with a candy bar of chocolately goodness... it makes some flowers seem a bit trivial. :)
I didn't write this 'biography' for people to feel bad for me, because I don't want pity. I don't pity myself I don't expect anyone else to. As I've said before, my trials in life have made me all the more of a stronger woman. I am happy with my life. I am happy with my friends and with my family.
I'm writing this because I feel like it helps my friends get a better understanding of me, and I don't think I should hide my past anymore. Things happened for a reason, maybe if I hadn't lost what I did, I wouldn't appreciate what I have now with as much adoration as I do.
My mom is on her third marriage, she stopped 'dating around' and settled for the family life. I think since her sister died a couple years ago, she realized how priceless family is.
I hope so.
I haven't talked to my step dad in over a year. I really don't care either. I'm a little resentful, but only because I feel like he wouldn't have "disowned me" if I was biologically his child.
I hope you found this interesting! I appreciate the comments my friends left earlier, it makes me feel super happy. It's kinda weird posting such personal things on the internet, but I don't think that I should be ashamed of anything that makes me who I am.
Well, thats enough.
Thanks for reading!
Much love,
Ashley
PS. RUSS HAS BEEN COMPLETELY CLEAN NOW FOR TWO MONTHS GOING ON LIFE!!! YAY!!!!
Scott had always been an awesome... AWESOME father figure from when he'd first met my mom when I was two, until she divorced him when I was ten. I'm not sure exactly why they divorced. Both sides of their stories are completely different.
Either my mom cheated on my dad or he treated her badly.
This is the part of my little 'biography' where I have to be very tactful, because I want to be honest, but I don't want my friends to think less of me.
The year I left my Mom's house, I slept with a handful of guys. Not a whole lot, just a few, but it was irresponsible of me and I wish I would have saved myself for Russ.
It's not that I was "rebelling" or anything so drastic, I honestly thought that it was perfectly okay. My female role model constantly had men in and out of her life.
It took a really frightening pregnancy scare for me to realize that sex isn't a game. It's something that should be saved for someone special for a reason. Of course, it was a false alarm, but it was enough to knock some sense into me.
Most of the events after graduation till present are vague. Only a few really stand out.
For one, when my step dad took my mom to court to get custody of my little sister, Brigiite. Technically she's my half sister, but I can't possibly think of her as only 'half' sister.
You wouldn't think that this event would really bother me, and it didn't until both parents started trying to get me involved in the case. My step dad bribed me by giving me a job, and my mom bribed me by giving me what I'd always wanted... a good relationship with her. I refused to play a role in this, until my mom subpoened me.
When the judge asked me which parent I thought was more fit, I told her that my step dad was.
Brigitte was then ruled to lived one week with my step dad and one week with my mom. I really hate that it ended up that way, because I think it's really exhausting Brigitte and neither one of my parents treat her exceptionally well.
A little over a year ago, Mattbeau did a taroh reading of my furture. He said that I would date one more man for primarily lustful reasons, then I would find my true love.
I have no earthling idea why I dated Rick. It was primarily based on lust... but looking back I have no freak'n idea why. He wasn't particularly attractive, he didn't have a great personality, he didn't even have money.
The only thing I could think of was his age. He was 30 and I think perhaps subconciously I wanted a male in my life to fill that 'older male slot' that my father had left open.
It lasted for a whopping three months because I realized that I didn't have any emotional attatchment to him whatsoever.
Shortly after, Russ came along. At first, I would never have invisioned me dating him. He was a stereotypical stoner-itallian from NY.
But after three months of friendship, I realized that he was a very special guy and he had so much more to offer me that any amount of money.
I know that I talk about Russ a lot.
I'm sure it can get a little annoying.
But you have no idea how much he means to me. When Matt passed away, he was by my side like glue. He was there beside me when it first sunk in that Matt was gone.
I had been at Jake's house and Rusty called. I didn't pick up the phone at first because we were watching some movie and I didn't want to be rude.
After Rusty called the third time, I had to pick up and he told me the news. It didn't sink in right away, so I called Russ' roomie's girlfriend and asked her and Russ to pick me up. We were almost back to my apartment when I broke down.
He held me all night that night.
He held me all night the night of the funeral, and he held me all night the day my step dad fired me.
I don't know how Matt knew it, but I believe with all my heart that Russ is the 'one'. He fills up the empty spaces that needed filling. :) He isn't the most romantic guy ever, he doesnt buy me roses or write poetry.
But when I come home and I'm tired from work, and the house is completely spottless... or when he comes home with a candy bar of chocolately goodness... it makes some flowers seem a bit trivial. :)
I didn't write this 'biography' for people to feel bad for me, because I don't want pity. I don't pity myself I don't expect anyone else to. As I've said before, my trials in life have made me all the more of a stronger woman. I am happy with my life. I am happy with my friends and with my family.
I'm writing this because I feel like it helps my friends get a better understanding of me, and I don't think I should hide my past anymore. Things happened for a reason, maybe if I hadn't lost what I did, I wouldn't appreciate what I have now with as much adoration as I do.
My mom is on her third marriage, she stopped 'dating around' and settled for the family life. I think since her sister died a couple years ago, she realized how priceless family is.
I hope so.
I haven't talked to my step dad in over a year. I really don't care either. I'm a little resentful, but only because I feel like he wouldn't have "disowned me" if I was biologically his child.
I hope you found this interesting! I appreciate the comments my friends left earlier, it makes me feel super happy. It's kinda weird posting such personal things on the internet, but I don't think that I should be ashamed of anything that makes me who I am.
Well, thats enough.
Thanks for reading!
Much love,
Ashley
PS. RUSS HAS BEEN COMPLETELY CLEAN NOW FOR TWO MONTHS GOING ON LIFE!!! YAY!!!!