Do You Listen To Hip Hop?
I love hearing those words whenever I wander by the MU on Fridays. I usually just answer no, but a part of me wants to chuckle and say "Are you kidding me? Do I look like I listen to hip hop?"
Things have been more hectic as of late. My decisions for future endeavors seem to have greater impact on my life then they did 6 months ago. Hell, 6 weeks ago.
It all started with an almost date. I take that back. It started with going to the movies. I had known this girl for awhile. She seemed a pretty good person. She was smart and funny and above all, liked zombie movies. Although I will say that I was interested in someone else, but the exponential difference in our localities make any sort of relationship beyond friendship at best difficult and at most impossible.
I thought I might give it a go with this person who was at least within a reasonable driving distance and also (and more importantly) seemed nice. We were of different ages. I should clarify this now. She was 3 years my senior. It doesn't seem like too big of a deal. During our many phone conversations in our "torrid affair" this was a topic that came up from time to time. I mention this now because this would ultimately lead to my decision....and unpleasantness.
We had gone out on two dates. A few rocky points had come up. One was the spacial difficulties in the previously mentioned other and our friendship (who knows who she is but I'm giving her anonymity) and the other was my frequent movie partner, also a female. These two things seemed to weigh on our relationship. Her insecurities were obvious, so I did my best to comfort and assure her.
After our second date, the concept of long-term relationship was brought up, as was marriage. This proved problematic. One: I don't believe in marriage. Well, more like the act itself is lost on me as I do not (and most likely will not) belong to any church and a legal ceremony just sounds silly. That's not to say that I will never do such a thing. If my significant other so desires to get married in a grand ceremony, it shall be done. But I stick by my guns that a widescreen plasma TV is a helluvah lot more romantic than a hunk of reorganized charcoal on a metal circle...but I digress
Anyway, the big problem arose with her wants and needs vs my plans. My desire to go to medical school is great. This summer I should be taking the MCAT (if all goes according to plan). If I fail get accepted into any of the 16 schools I have carefully chosen (with a dartboard and blindfold), I was going to look into the Peace Corps.
My worry was that if I make it into med school, I could not emotionally be there for her. If I joined the Peace Corps, well, you see where I am going with this. I was being honest with myself. Med School will be a time when I will be very selfish on what I need to do. Going to the movies is out. Most of my recreational video gaming will be gone. And most personal relationships will be put on some sort of hold. Not that I won't talk to people, I just won't allow myself to pull away from my studies. I'm looking at maybe a few calls a month to a select few, maybe some IMs here and there, and maybe a mass e-mail. Outside of those, all medicine, all the time.
I didn't think that was fair to her. To start a relationship that I could be there for her. I also was getting a little annoyed with the jealousy. Considering my friend Jennifer will be returning from her mission to Georgia in a few short weeks and I had not seen her for 18 months, I knew that I was not ready to make her the "only woman" in my life. I thought I'd try to put our relationship on hold. Maybe try to just be friends. We could hang out, do stuff, etc. Innocuous friend stuff.
That did not take to well. She has since forbade me from contacting her again. I was kind of prepared for that. She seemed like the person that could react in such a way. I never wanted to hurt her. If she called me up and asked to hang out or talk, I would say yes. Until that day, I'm sorry Megan.
Aside from that I just learned today that my RAship will not carry on into the summer. I have since started to panic. I'm going to e-mail the person that got me the job in the nursing department and hope that she can connect me with someone that can use me. I'm going to need money. I need to buy these two dork friends of mine a wedding present that isn't a duvet cover or anything found in the duvet cover department.
Until then, consider yourself updated.
Things have been more hectic as of late. My decisions for future endeavors seem to have greater impact on my life then they did 6 months ago. Hell, 6 weeks ago.
It all started with an almost date. I take that back. It started with going to the movies. I had known this girl for awhile. She seemed a pretty good person. She was smart and funny and above all, liked zombie movies. Although I will say that I was interested in someone else, but the exponential difference in our localities make any sort of relationship beyond friendship at best difficult and at most impossible.
I thought I might give it a go with this person who was at least within a reasonable driving distance and also (and more importantly) seemed nice. We were of different ages. I should clarify this now. She was 3 years my senior. It doesn't seem like too big of a deal. During our many phone conversations in our "torrid affair" this was a topic that came up from time to time. I mention this now because this would ultimately lead to my decision....and unpleasantness.
We had gone out on two dates. A few rocky points had come up. One was the spacial difficulties in the previously mentioned other and our friendship (who knows who she is but I'm giving her anonymity) and the other was my frequent movie partner, also a female. These two things seemed to weigh on our relationship. Her insecurities were obvious, so I did my best to comfort and assure her.
After our second date, the concept of long-term relationship was brought up, as was marriage. This proved problematic. One: I don't believe in marriage. Well, more like the act itself is lost on me as I do not (and most likely will not) belong to any church and a legal ceremony just sounds silly. That's not to say that I will never do such a thing. If my significant other so desires to get married in a grand ceremony, it shall be done. But I stick by my guns that a widescreen plasma TV is a helluvah lot more romantic than a hunk of reorganized charcoal on a metal circle...but I digress
Anyway, the big problem arose with her wants and needs vs my plans. My desire to go to medical school is great. This summer I should be taking the MCAT (if all goes according to plan). If I fail get accepted into any of the 16 schools I have carefully chosen (with a dartboard and blindfold), I was going to look into the Peace Corps.
My worry was that if I make it into med school, I could not emotionally be there for her. If I joined the Peace Corps, well, you see where I am going with this. I was being honest with myself. Med School will be a time when I will be very selfish on what I need to do. Going to the movies is out. Most of my recreational video gaming will be gone. And most personal relationships will be put on some sort of hold. Not that I won't talk to people, I just won't allow myself to pull away from my studies. I'm looking at maybe a few calls a month to a select few, maybe some IMs here and there, and maybe a mass e-mail. Outside of those, all medicine, all the time.
I didn't think that was fair to her. To start a relationship that I could be there for her. I also was getting a little annoyed with the jealousy. Considering my friend Jennifer will be returning from her mission to Georgia in a few short weeks and I had not seen her for 18 months, I knew that I was not ready to make her the "only woman" in my life. I thought I'd try to put our relationship on hold. Maybe try to just be friends. We could hang out, do stuff, etc. Innocuous friend stuff.
That did not take to well. She has since forbade me from contacting her again. I was kind of prepared for that. She seemed like the person that could react in such a way. I never wanted to hurt her. If she called me up and asked to hang out or talk, I would say yes. Until that day, I'm sorry Megan.
Aside from that I just learned today that my RAship will not carry on into the summer. I have since started to panic. I'm going to e-mail the person that got me the job in the nursing department and hope that she can connect me with someone that can use me. I'm going to need money. I need to buy these two dork friends of mine a wedding present that isn't a duvet cover or anything found in the duvet cover department.
Until then, consider yourself updated.