HELP.
Okay, so.
I am feeling stupid and useless and sheepish and embarrassed about this. I shouldn't, it's not my fault, it's not his fault, blah blah blah, but ( Read more... )
I am feeling stupid and useless and sheepish and embarrassed about this. I shouldn't, it's not my fault, it's not his fault, blah blah blah, but ( Read more... )
Interesting age for the boy, from the sound of it he may very well have an issue. We tackled the daughters ADD with naturals first and then the lightest meds we could use until she removed herself from the meds at 18. Determining what is “normal” is the real bit. Yes, he’s not on a par with his peers emotionally right now, but how are his grades? Does the teacher think he needs special attention?
The very first thing to do is look at diet. Sugar and other stimulants are the key. Try this experiment. Make a VERY strong cup of coffee and make him drink it (chocolate helps). If he calms down and acts more normal after that then he needs to be more thoroughly tested. If he bounces off the walls you can just about rule out ADD. If Sugar and junk accelerate his negative behaviors you need to remove them. Red Dye is another evil. I was skeptical until I had a friend demonstrate with his 8 year old. WOW.
Really, I can’t stress diet enough. It has profound effects on my daughter. She eats healthy and life is good, she eats junk and sugar life is not.
Emotional maturity is an entirely different subject. What you describe is concerning but ask you husband how many 40 year old 8 year olds he knows. I know a few. If you have anything like an employee assistance plan where you work, get an appointment with a psychologist and get their opinion.
So I rambled a bit here, and I’ll come back and ramble some more, but these are some early suggestions.
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Aspergers.
http://www.aspergerstestsite.com/75/autism-spectrum-quotient-aq-test/
Try this test on him. I think he might ace it. If that is so there are loads of things to be done.
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I don't believe he fits the ADHD profile, but he most definitely fits everything on the ADD list, that predominantly-inattentive thing was practically made for him. I told Beth above that it should all just have his picture next to it, for the love of Harry.
The diet things you mentioned are good points, and when I thought about it, I realized that we don't necessarily eat a whole lot of junk. Sure, we have sweets here and there, but it's just not something I would consider an everyday staple in our house, nor the red dye - I can't think of very many things we consume that have red dye in them. I'll have to take a closer look at the things I'm picking up, it may be hidden in lots of them, for all I know.
And as to emotional maturity, I completely understand your point. What I see, though, is so, so different. Plenty of people behave like children, but they are also capable of holding down a job and being a productive member of society, even if socially they are a little bit (or a lot, as the case may be) ridiculous. Mike just doesn't strike me as someone who will be a productive member of society. He has no ambitions, no hopes or dreams or goals. When we ask him what he might like to do when he's old enough, he cannot think of anything. He has no opinions on anything, and when we ask him what he's thinking after we've discussed something, he either doesn't know or is "not thinking about anything." What fourteen year old does not have any thoughts at all? I just-. There is so much wrong with that, I can't let it continue.
I called his health plan's member services today to ask them where and how to start. We don't need a referral for this kind of thing according to them, so I said where I'd like to take him, they told me it was perfectly okay to take him there, and gave me a phone number. The clinic is closed on Fridays, so I'll be calling them on Monday to start the ball rolling.
I truly appreciate all your suggestions so far, and appreciate the time you've taken to offer your thoughts and ideas and your ear. Thank you so much! ♥
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