(no subject)
i`ve been so explosive latley and i can`t control myself properly with my words or emotions. Last night i made rude remarks towards my friends and screamed at people durring a movie who were simply talking. I was embarrassed but they were really starting to irritate me. I laughed at a few of their jokes but then they just wouldn`t shut up. So i told them off real good. Assholes. What the hell is wrong with this situation?! I can`t find a common link that i can just relate to everything... i can`t get myself to sustain concentration durring school or on my homework out of school. I`ve been taking the short cut through every book i`ve read except for TWO entire (school related) books- Which i loved... I`ve missed out on friends who i`ve pushed away because of my own shame... I`m ashamed of myself and i`m upset with myself. I`m tired of being rushed with every plan i make. I don`t want to be the one who has to get everything done for everyone else! I`m fucking fed up. I want my music loud and i want to get in a fight with someone... i need to be shut up and just let my anger out in a physical way; writing isin`t helping me anymore