Originally posted by
the_moogie on December 22, 2010
Edited September 15, 2015
SHAWN
1989: has a neighbour named Jimmy People, whose family are vegan. Shawn thinks their food is weird and doesn't want to go to their house.
Helps in a S&R in the mountains
Wants an ATV for the office.
Finds the plane first with Gus
Wants to fulfill the dying man’s wish
Says Abigail is going to want to “get in there and fix things” with Henry.
Says his relationship with his father is complicated, and no amount of talking or listening or hugging is going to fix things.
Slaps Buzz on the ass as they leave the meeting room.
Is hired by Mrs. Clayton
Asks Mrs. Clayton for Red Vines individually wrapped, mini fridge filled with Cactus Cooler, a ShamWow, and a new laptop, preferably one made of Red Vines.
Embellishes the tale for Abigail
Broke a vase in Clayton’s living room.
Kicked out of the Claytons’ after threatening to reveal one of them is the murderer
Feels he was born to the wrong family
Signs Gus up for flight lessons so he can investigate the hangar
Gets clothes from the pro shop to question golfers
He and Gus say they are Karma Chameleons. They come and go.
Doesn’t know how to recycle.
Tells Chief Vick that she has exquisite teeth.
Says to Lassiter, “Lassy, looking handsome and jangly.”
Says to Gus, “There is no relationship Shawn. Or boyfriend Shawn. There’s just regular Shawn and Malibu Shawn. You know that.”
Meets Henry and Abigail for dinner
Never applied to the police academy.
Thinks his father doesn’t have emotions.
Says he would take Henry’s watch and sell his lamp on Craigslist if he died.
GUS
Is afraid of bears
Is afraid of flying
Finds the plane first with Shawn
Quizzes the dying man about stocks
Tells Shawn to ask Mrs. Clayton for a new laptop
Is allergic to rich white people according to Shawn
Recognized Warren Clayton’s cologne.
Recognizes ultra-high modulus hyper carbon racquet
Kicked out of the Claytons’ after threatening to reveal one of them is the murderer
Gets clothes from the pro shop to question golfers
Gives Shawn relationship advice regarding Abigail
Froze during the flight, saying he was ready to go even when it was over
Says he has peeps. Shawn says he has two and one of them is made of marshmallow.
LASSITER
Rides an ATV to search the mountains
Calls Shawn “twerp”
Calls Vick “ma’am”
Arrests Nyna for the murder
JULIET
Rides an ATV to search the mountains
Arrests Nyna for the murder
HENRY
1989: Is reading the Santa Barbara Mirror. Headlines include Man Jailed For Preying On Elderly, Ruling Gives Political Cover To All, States Try To Disconnect Automated Calls.
Hates tofu.
Belongs to a huntsman’s club they make maps with paths trails landmarks the government maps don’t have.
Has coffee with Abigail
Calls Abigail “Abby”
Agrees to go to dinner with Shawn and Abigail
Doesn’t think he is bald.
Drinks Canadian lager.
Says he trained Shawn to be a detective but he prefers to be a professional ass-wipe
Watching baseball on TV when Shawn comes over
Says his last words would be “I love you”, but doesn’t say so until Shawn has left the room.
ABIGAIL
Says that when Shawn embellishes it lets her know he cares.
Wants to meet Henry and does so on her own initiative - coffee
Arranges dinner with Shawn and Henry
Thinks Shawn and Henry could get along better if they could talk about their feelings.
Talked to Henry about his time as a detective.
Other characters
WARREN CLAYTON
Billionaire investor.
Last words were, “Needed to make amends a good father you understand? Waterloo. Find out who killed me.”
Wanted his ashes spread at the 18th hole of his country club’s golf course.
Gus says Clayton’s s hedge fund has had an annual return rate of 20% for the last ten years.
Changed his will so the bulk was going to Great Green Hope.
His family have a private hangar at the airport to use.
Spent four hours in Bakersfield. There are two car services in Bakersfield.
Signed his wife up for tennis lessons with Malivai and bought her an expensive tennis racquet as a birthday present last year.
Registration number for Warren Clayton’s hedge fund is Prospectus 190642693.
CHAD WISWALL
Golf buddy of Warren Clayton. Lost the jet to him in a skins match a couple of months ago.
Found dead, at the Carlyle hotel, killed with a golf club so the assets in the Clayton estate wouldn’t get frozen.
Says Warren Clayton’s billion dollar investment was giant Ponzi scam. Kept falsified documents in case he needed proof.
CHARLES THOMAS
Has his pilot’s licence.
MRS. CLAYTON
Has had years of botox.
Having affair with tennis instructor.
Claims she and Warren had a loveless marriage. Before he died he’d been trying to be the man she once loved.
Claims Nyna is no longer with them.
Called Warren “Clay.”
NYNA THOMAS
Has her pilot’s licence.
Also called Warren Clayton "Clay."
Is Warren's daughter.
Tries to keep her past from interfering with new life with Charles Thomas.
Works at 1600 Joshua Lane, for Great Green Hope, a nonprofit watchdog org.
Overheard Warren Clayton arguing with golf buddies about investments.
St Dwynwnen
Patron saint of lovers (and sick animals).
GUS’ NICKNAME
Jazz Hands
SHAWN & GUS FISTBUMP
Episode: 2
Series: 31
SHAWN’S PILLOW HUGS
Episode: 1
Series: 8
PINEAPPLE SIGHTING
On a table in the country club restaurant
ALLUSIONS
“His hedge fund has had an average annual return of 20% for the last 10 years.” - A hedge fund is an investment vehicle and a business structure that pools capital from a number of investors and invests in securities and other instruments. It is administered by a professional management firm, and often structured as a limited partnership, limited liability company, or similar vehicle. Hedge funds are generally distinct from mutual funds as their use of leverage is not capped by regulators and distinct from private equity funds as the majority of hedge funds invest in relatively liquid assets. The name "hedge fund" originated from the hedging techniques used by some of the first of these funds.
“Waterloo.” - The Battle of Waterloo was fought on Sunday, 18 June 1815, near Waterloo in present-day Belgium, then part of the United Kingdom of the Netherlands. A French army under the command of Napoleon was defeated by two of the armies of the Seventh Coalition: an Anglo-allied army under the command of the Duke of Wellington, and a Prussian army under the command of Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher. "Meet your Waterloo". In recognition of Napoleon's defeat, "to meet one's Waterloo" (or similar) has entered the English language as a phrase signifying a great test with a final and decisive outcome - generally one resulting in failure and proving vincibility for something or someone who had seemed unbeatable. (Probably why the 18th hole was called this)
“He's an Abba fan.” - "Waterloo" is the first single from Swedish pop group ABBA's second album, Waterloo, their first for Epic and Atlantic. This was also the first single to be credited as "ABBA". The song won ABBA the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest on 6 April and began their path to worldwide fame. The Swedish version single was coupled with "Honey, Honey" (Swedish version), while the English version usually featured "Watch Out" as the B-side. The single became their first No. 1 hit in several countries, reached the U.S. Top 10, and went on to sell nearly six million copies, making it one of the best-selling singles of all time. "Waterloo" is the quintessential Eurovision song, according to Dr Harry Witchel, physiologist and music expert at the University of Bristol. At the 50th anniversary celebration of the Eurovision Song Contest in 2005, it was chosen as the best song in the competition's history.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FsVeMz1F5cChristine Baranski (Mrs. Clayton) - Christine Jane Baranski (born May 2, 1952) is an American stage and screen actress. She won Tony Awards for her work in the original Broadway productions of The Real Thing in 1984 and Rumors in 1989, both for Best Featured Actress in a Play. She went on to win the 1995 Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for her role as Maryanne Thorpe in the sitcom Cybill (1995-98). Baranski's other Broadway credits include her debut in Hide and Seek (1980), Hurlyburly (1984), The House of Blue Leaves (1986) and Boeing Boeing (2008). A 14-time Emmy Award nominee, her other television work includes her portrayals of Dr. Beverly Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory, and Diane Lockhart in The Good Wife. Her film roles include 9 1/2 Weeks (1986), Legal Eagles (1986), Reversal of Fortune (1990), Addams Family Values (1993), Jeffrey (1995), The Birdcage (1996), Bulworth (1998), Cruel Intentions (1999), Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), Chicago (2002), Mamma Mia! (2008), and Into the Woods (2014).
“Perhaps a twitter.” - Twitter is an online social networking service that enables users to send and read short 140-character messages called "tweets". Registered users can read and post tweets, but unregistered users can only read them. Trending topics are those topics being discussed more than others.
“Yes, it just doesn't show on my face because of years of Botox.” - Botulinum toxin (BTX) is a neurotoxic protein produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum and related species. It is also produced commercially for medical, cosmetic, and research use. There are two main commercial types: botulinum toxin type A and botulinum toxin type B. Infection with the bacterium may result in a potentially fatal disease called botulism. Botulinum is the most acutely lethal toxin known, with an estimated human median lethal dose (LD50) of 1.3-2.1 ng/kg intravenously or intramuscularly and 10-13 ng/kg when inhaled. Botulinum toxin type A and B is used in medicine for, among others, upper motor neuron syndrome, focal hyperhidrosis, blepharospasm, strabismus, chronic migraine and bruxism. It is also widely used in cosmetic treatments. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration requires a boxed warning stating that when locally administered the toxin may spread from the injection site to other areas of the body, causing symptoms similar to those of botulism. The warning was the result of deaths associated with its uses. The commercial form is marketed under the brand name Botox, among others.
“A case of Red Vines, individually wrapped.” - Red Vines is a brand of red licorice candy manufactured in Union City in the U.S. state of California by the American Licorice Company. Red Vines Original Red Twists are also sometimes referred to as red licorice. The original Red Vines were raspberry-flavored, but in 1952, with a slight formula change, the Red Vines Original Red Twist flavor was introduced.
“Two, mini fridge filled with Cactus Cooler.” - Cactus Cooler, distinguished by its orange, yellow, and green label, is an orange-pineapple soft drink sold in the United States, mainly in the Southern California area and surrounding Southwestern United States. It is part of the Dr Pepper Snapple Group, and was previously distributed under the Canada Dry brand name. Cactus Cooler was inspired by the 1960s cartoon show The Flintstones in which a fictional Cactus Cooler was the favorite drink of character Fred Flintstone.
“Need a ShamWow.” - Offer Shlomi (Hebrew: עוֹפﬧ שלוֹמי; born April 25, 1964), also known as Vince Offer, Vince Shlomi, or the "ShamWow Guy", is an Israeli American director, writer, comedian, and infomercial pitchman. Drawing upon his experience working in flea markets, he decided in 2006 to market a cleaning product that he saw there, an absorbent towel that he called the "ShamWow!". The title of the product derives from the French pronunciation of the chamois. Offer visited the factory in Germany where the product is made, and he decided to incorporate that fact into the TV pitch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80ne1qRoHyk“MaliVai Washington?” - MaliVai "Mal" Washington (/mælɨˈviːə/ mal-i-vee-ə; born June 20, 1969) is an American former professional tennis player. He reached the Men's Singles final at Wimbledon in 1996, won 4 titles and achieved a career-high singles ranking of World No. 11.
“It's very... ‘Heathers’.” - Heathers is a 1988 American black comedy film written by Daniel Waters and directed by Michael Lehmann. It stars Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, and Shannen Doherty. The film portrays four teenage girls - three of whom are named Heather - in a clique at a fictional Ohio high school.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTmpKgocyYg“You have two peeps. And one of them's made out of marshmallow.” - Peeps are marshmallow candies, sold in the United States and Canada, that are shaped into chicks, bunnies, and other animals. There are also different shapes used for various holidays. Peeps are used primarily to fill Easter baskets, though recent advertising campaigns market the candy as "Peeps - Always in Season", as Peeps has since expanded to include Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's Day; most recently, it has been available year-round with the introduction of Peeps Minis. They are made from sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, and various food dyes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghJ9kw8FndY“We haven't even had our foie gras yet.” - Foie gras (Listeni/ˌfwɑːˈɡrɑː/, French for "fat liver") is a luxury food product made of the liver of a duck or goose that has been specially fattened. By French law, foie gras is defined as the liver of a duck or goose fattened by force-feeding corn with a feeding tube, a process also known as gavage. In Spain and other countries outside of France it is occasionally produced using natural feeding. Ducks are force-fed twice a day for 12.5 days and geese three times a day for around 17 days. Ducks are typically slaughtered at 100 days and geese at 112 days. Foie gras is a popular and well-known delicacy in French cuisine. Its flavor is described as rich, buttery, and delicate, unlike that of an ordinary duck or goose liver. Foie gras is sold whole, or is prepared into mousse, parfait, or pâté, and may also be served as an accompaniment to another food item, such as steak. French law states that "Foie gras belongs to the protected cultural and gastronomical heritage of France.”
“You're no better, puta.” - ‘Puta’ means whore or bitch in Portuguese, Spanish, and Filipino
“Taking away my Porsche, making me get a job, selling my tiger.” - Dr. Ing. h.c. F. Porsche AG, usually shortened to Porsche AG (German pronunciation: [ˈpɔʁʃə] ( listen)), is a German automobile manufacturer specializing in high-performance sports cars, SUVs and sedans. Porsche AG is headquartered in Stuttgart, and is owned by Volkswagen AG, which is itself majority-owned by Porsche Automobil Holding SE. Porsche's current lineup includes the 911, Boxster, Cayman, Panamera, Cayenne, Macan, and the 918. Austrian engineer Ferdinand Porsche founded the company called "Dr. Ing. h. c. F. Porsche GmbH" in Austria in 1931, then moved to its main offices at Kronenstraße 24 in the centre of Stuttgart. Initially, the company offered motor vehicle development work and consulting, but did not build any cars under its own name. One of the first assignments the new company received was from the German government to design a car for the people, that is a "Volkswagen". This resulted in the Volkswagen Beetle, one of the most successful car designs of all time. The Porsche 64 was developed in 1939 using many components from the Beetle.
“I don't want to end up in Guantanamo.” - The Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp is a United States military prison located within Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, also referred to as Guantánamo, G-bay or GTMO (pronounced 'gitmo'), which fronts on Guantánamo Bay in Cuba. At the time of its establishment in January 2002, Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld said the prison camp was established to detain extraordinarily dangerous persons, to interrogate detainees in an optimal setting, and to prosecute detainees for war crimes.
“Let's see what's at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.” “That's the Munsters' house.” - The Munsters is an American television sitcom depicting the home life of a family of benign monsters. It stars Fred Gwynne as Herman Munster and Yvonne De Carlo as his wife, Lily Munster. The series was a satire of both traditional monster movies and the wholesome family fare of the era, and was produced by the creators of Leave It to Beaver. It ran concurrently with the similarly macabre themed The Addams Family, though had higher figures in the Nielsen ratings. The series originally aired on Thursday at 7:30pm on CBS from September 24, 1964, to May 12, 1966; 70 episodes were produced. It was cancelled after ratings dropped to a low due to the premiere of ABC's Batman, which was in color. Though ratings were low during its initial two-year run, The Munsters found a large audience in syndication. This popularity warranted a spin-off series, as well as several films, including one with a theatrical release. On October 26, 2012, NBC aired a modern reimagining of The Munsters called Mockingbird Lane as a pilot. The series failed to be picked up by NBC despite success with Munster fans and good ratings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX_s449BVeE“But only because we are karma chameleons.” - "Karma Chameleon" is a song by English band Culture Club, featured on the group's 1983 album Colour by Numbers. The first recorded use of the phrase "karma chameleon" was sung by Toots and the Maytals at the end of the song "In The Dark" on their album "Funky Kingston." The single spent three weeks at number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 in early 1984, becoming the group's biggest hit and only US number-one single among their many Top 10 hits. "Karma Chameleon" was also a huge global hit, hitting number one in 16 countries worldwide, and the Top 10 in several more. The sleeve features work from the photographer David Levine. In the group's home country of the United Kingdom, it became the second Culture Club single to reach the top of the UK Singles Chart (after "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me"), where it stayed for six weeks in September and October 1983, and became the UK's biggest-selling single of the year 1983. To date, it is the 31st best-selling single of all time in the UK, selling 1.49 million copies there. It has sold over 5 million global copies, making it one of the best-selling singles of all time worldwide.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmcA9LIIXWw“She's all headstrong, hot in a... female DA or detective on Law & Order sort of way.” - Law & Order is an American police procedural and legal drama television series, created by Dick Wolf and part of the Law & Order franchise. It originally aired on NBC and, in syndication, on various cable networks. Law & Order premiered on September 13, 1990, and completed its 20th and final season on May 24, 2010. At the time of its cancellation, Law & Order was the longest-running crime drama on American primetime television. Its record of 20 seasons is a tie with Gunsmoke (1955-1975) for the longest-running live-action scripted American prime-time series with ongoing characters, although it had fewer episodes than Gunsmoke; both series have been since surpassed by the animated series The Simpsons. Set and filmed in New York City, the series follows a two-part approach: the first half-hour is the investigation of a crime (usually murder) and apprehension of a suspect by New York City Police Department homicide detectives; the second half is the prosecution of the defendant by the New York County Manhattan District Attorney's Office. Plots are often based on real cases that recently made headlines, although the motivation for the crime and the perpetrator may be different.
“Like Milena Govich?” - Milena Govich (Serbian: Милена Говић; born October 29, 1976) is an American actress, singer, dancer, and musician, best known for portraying NYPD Detective Nina Cassady on the television series Law & Order.
“Like an Angie Harmon.” - Angela Michelle "Angie" Harmon (born August 10, 1972) is an American television and film actress and fashion model. She became a well-known model before gaining international fame for her roles in Baywatch Nights and Law & Order. Since July 2010, she has starred as Detective Jane Rizzoli on the TNT series Rizzoli & Isles.
“Like Mariska Hargitay?” - Mariska Magdolna Hargitay (/məˈrɪʃkə ˈhɑrɡɨteɪ/ mə-rish-kə har-gi-tay; born January 23, 1964) is an American actress, best known for her role as New York City sex crimes Sergeant Olivia Benson on the NBC television drama Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, a role that has earned her multiple awards and nominations, including an Emmy and Golden Globe. The daughter of actress Jayne Mansfield and actor and bodybuilder Mickey Hargitay, Hargitay is a former beauty queen who made her film debut in the 1985 horror-comedy film Ghoulies, and her major television debut in the 1986 adventure drama series Downtown. She appeared in numerous roles in film and television shows throughout the late 1980s and 1990s before being cast as Olivia Benson, a role that led to her founding the Joyful Heart Foundation, which provides support to women who have been sexually abused.
“And I bet Ms. Green Jeans in there wasn't too happy about it.” - Mr. Green Jeans - Hugh "Lumpy" Brannum starred as Mr. Green Jeans, the chief aide to Captain Kangaroo (Bob Keeshan) at the Treasure House on the children's program CAPTAIN KANGAROO/CBS/1955-84. Mr. Green Jeans got his name from the clothes he wore (a green pair of farmer overalls), and because of his interest with the outdoors. He visited the Captain with a variety of interesting items including cute little animals.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wFUwAEYc6U“He then confessed to me that his billion-dollar hedge fund was a giant Ponzi scheme.” - A Ponzi scheme is a fraudulent investment operation where the operator, an individual or organization, pays returns to its investors from new capital paid to the operators by new investors, rather than from profit earned by the operator. Operators of Ponzi schemes usually entice new investors by offering higher returns than other investments, in the form of short-term returns that are either abnormally high or unusually consistent. Ponzi schemes occasionally begin as legitimate businesses, until the business fails to achieve the returns expected. The business becomes a Ponzi scheme if it then continues under fraudulent terms. Whatever the initial situation, the perpetuation of the high returns requires an ever-increasing flow of money from new investors to sustain the scheme.
“I simply refuse to believe that Henry Winkler had anything to do with this.” - Henry Franklin Winkler, OBE (born October 30, 1945) is an American actor, director, comedian, producer and author. Winkler is best known for his role as Arthur Fonzarelli in the 1970s American sitcom Happy Days. "The Fonz," or "Fonzie," a leather-clad greaser and auto mechanic, started out as a minor character at the show's beginning, but had achieved top billing by the time the show ended. He currently stars as Sy Mittleman on Adult Swim's Childrens Hospital and Eddie R. Lawson on USA Networks's Royal Pains.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQc9L2RbQkw“Really, you're gonna pretend like you've had an emotion since Walker, Texas Ranger got canceled?” - Walker, Texas Ranger is an American television series created by Leslie Greif and Paul Haggis. It was inspired by the film Lone Wolf McQuade, with both this series and that film starring Chuck Norris as a member of the Texas Ranger Division. The show aired on CBS in the spring of 1993, with the first season consisting of three pilot episodes. Eight full seasons followed with new episodes airing from September 25, 1993, to May 19, 2001, and reruns continuing on CBS until July 28, 2001. It has been broadcast in over 100 countries and has since spawned a made-for-television movie entitled Trial By Fire. The movie ended on a cliffhanger, which, as of 2015, has not yet been resolved. DVD sets of all seasons have been released (with the three pilots packaged with the first regular season). At various times since 1997, reruns of the show have aired, in syndication, on the USA Network and Action in Canada. Reruns can currently be seen on WGN America and INSP. The series was noted for its moralistic style. The characters refrained from the use of drugs, and they participated in community service. Martial arts were displayed prominently as the primary tool of law enforcement and occasionally as a tool for Walker and company to reach out to the community. The show has since become one of the most popular action shows in television history.
“Dear Abby, Dr. Phil, enjoy.” - Dear Abby is an advice column founded in 1956 by Pauline Phillips under the pen name "Abigail Van Buren" and carried on today by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, who now owns the legal rights to the pen name. Phillip Calvin "Phil" McGraw (born September 1, 1950), known as Dr. Phil, is an American television personality, author, psychologist, and the host of the television show Dr. Phil, which debuted in 2002. McGraw first gained celebrity status with appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show in the late 1990s.
“Dust...in...the wind. All we are is dust...in...” - "Dust in the Wind" is a song recorded by American progressive rock band Kansas and written by band member Kerry Livgren, first released on their 1977 album Point of Know Return. The song peaked at #6 on the Billboard Hot 100 the week of April 22, 1978, making it Kansas's only top ten Billboard Hot 100 charting single. The 45-rpm single was certified Gold for sales of one million units by the RIAA shortly after the height of its popularity as a hit single. More than 25 years later, the RIAA certified Gold the digital download format of the song, Kansas's only single to do so certified as of September 17, 2008.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH2w6Oxx0kQ“I'm taking off your watch, putting that thing on Craigslist.” - Craigslist is a classified advertisements website with sections devoted to jobs, housing, personals, for sale, items wanted, services, community, gigs, résumés, and discussion forums. Craig Newmark began the service in 1995 as an email distribution list to friends, featuring local events in the San Francisco Bay Area. It became a web-based service in 1996 and expanded into other classified categories. It started expanding to other U.S. cities in 2000, and now covers 50 countries.