Notes from a maniac
Funny this, how you can never really know another person... I mean, every time you meet someone you will bring yourself and your whole past into the meeting, which again will affect the other person. The other person will too, and even when you get to know a lot about that other persons history, you will still not know everything that shaped that person into the man or woman he or she is. Isn't it funny? No matter what, there will always be sides with a person that is affecting that person in one way or another; that you can't possibly know about... and maybe no one else does anymore either...Everyone can at some point do something, or say something, in some kind of situation that surprises you immensely. No matter how good you think you know that person and how certain you were before that very moment that he or she could possibly never say or do anything like this. In addition to all those past actions and memories, it's the uniqety of the personality... no personality is exactly the same, and you will never have the luck of experiencing your friend in all thinkable situations... so you cannot REALLY know how that person actually will behave in a given setting.
Well, that was one side of this case... but hey, wait, I'm not done yet... you see.. as I said in the beginning, YOU TOO will bring with you all your past into the meeting. And that will influence how you percieve that person, how you respond to him or her, and what you say and do and feel. You can readjust the first impression later, but you cant get rid of yourself... you will always bring yourself into the meeting, and that will not only influence you and the way you think and percieve the world... but the way you act and what you say will also affect how the other person act and what he or she says..
I could go rambling on forever, but this is really boring, I hate social psychology. I just had to get this out of my head before it drove me crazy, I really don't care. I guess I needed a break from all the neuropsychology and do some circular thinking. What surprises me is that some people actually find it interesting to study social psychology..... Hoi man,I think you just MUST have a need to get bored. Yattyatt.
Really, I do... I think the individ itself is more interesting than dyads and groups, oh yeah, even though I am such a dyadic person according to mr Wærp. Thats just because I really like my own company, so other people are just disturbing my thinking if they are too many. Another way of saying it is of course that due to my lack of concentration I don't have to close off so much of the rest of the world if I only deal with one person. As in, too speeded brains? Nooo, actually, I have even a neuropsychological explanation for this. I am an introvert. Studies have shown that introverts have a lower noise level in their brains, so it takes less noise to make disturbances than with extraverts... while extraverts actually works better with a bit of noise around them, introverts will be stressed out mad by it (electrical activity in the brains, ya know? I don't bother about the details here). Actually, all this boils down to me being a totally asocial maniac, doesn't it? The nutcase Charlie, sitting with her paintbrushes and aceton in solitary in her room... ohlala. Maybe I'm just locked in here by the evil man with the blue beard, and there's one room I am not allowed to open... even though, I DO HAVE THE KEY...Sigh. Nah, I'm just an asocial maniac I'm afraid, but a generally happy maniac in any case. And, huh, who would like to be sane in a world as insane as this? Brrr!
Ok. So I'm done cleaning. The place smells like a factory making detergent, and is probably not the slightest bit cleaner than it was before. Ilse said she would drop by and have a chat with me after the inspection, but she seems lost and gone. I bet shes downstairs chatting with Sander, which is fine with me. I wont unpack the rabbits before the evening anyway.
In a few hours I'm off on my bike again, whistling down the city center to Wijde Beginnerstraat.
While I wait for the rain to stop, I will have a look at all the chairs the ADHD group is falling in between in prison.
Gawd. I even miss the lunatic across my hallway with the nazi inspired thoughts (why on earth isn't there better sifting through at the prison school?). I hope my tutor drops by in october as she said she would. I havent heard from her in a while, but that doesn't mean much. I know how fast weeks are passing by at work. I mean, I spent almost 8 months there (minus my holiday), but now it seems like a week...
Oh, a couple of days ago I saw the biggest spider Ive ever seen... in the wild I mean. Well, wild and wild. Without having a glass between it and me in some kind of zoo, in any case. I saw something move in the corner of my eye and looked... which made me yell holy shit and mothers milk quite loud in the hallway... the bloody bastard was prolly around 5 cm big, and then he wasn't even stretched out. I ran like a maniac to get my camera and took all kinds of pictures before I sneaked out and hoped he would make a giant nest that I could take more pictures of... but the next day he was dead! I put him in a box... didn't have the heart to just throw him out. Now I'd like to put him in a glass box so I can freak out my mother every time she comes visiting.
I wont have to freak out my sister anymore anyway. There's no chance in this life that she will ever visit me, or call me, or say hello to me, ever again. Who cares? Well, I did. Then I realized that it didn't affect my life. I was told once how blood is thicker than water, well, tell me whatever you want... but for me to believe it, prove it. So far, no luck?
Water is good enough for me. I'm not that fond of blood, though I don't mind it as such. I don't like flies or other insects either, btw, in case you wonder. But then, spiders are not insects anyway. Actually, we have quite a few mozzies squized on the wall, but thats just pure nutcase syndrome, ("a mozzie? darn it, I wanna sleep..." SPLAT! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ). I need more spiders around to make webs, to catch those nasty mozzies.
I'm off.
Well, that was one side of this case... but hey, wait, I'm not done yet... you see.. as I said in the beginning, YOU TOO will bring with you all your past into the meeting. And that will influence how you percieve that person, how you respond to him or her, and what you say and do and feel. You can readjust the first impression later, but you cant get rid of yourself... you will always bring yourself into the meeting, and that will not only influence you and the way you think and percieve the world... but the way you act and what you say will also affect how the other person act and what he or she says..
I could go rambling on forever, but this is really boring, I hate social psychology. I just had to get this out of my head before it drove me crazy, I really don't care. I guess I needed a break from all the neuropsychology and do some circular thinking. What surprises me is that some people actually find it interesting to study social psychology..... Hoi man,I think you just MUST have a need to get bored. Yattyatt.
Really, I do... I think the individ itself is more interesting than dyads and groups, oh yeah, even though I am such a dyadic person according to mr Wærp. Thats just because I really like my own company, so other people are just disturbing my thinking if they are too many. Another way of saying it is of course that due to my lack of concentration I don't have to close off so much of the rest of the world if I only deal with one person. As in, too speeded brains? Nooo, actually, I have even a neuropsychological explanation for this. I am an introvert. Studies have shown that introverts have a lower noise level in their brains, so it takes less noise to make disturbances than with extraverts... while extraverts actually works better with a bit of noise around them, introverts will be stressed out mad by it (electrical activity in the brains, ya know? I don't bother about the details here). Actually, all this boils down to me being a totally asocial maniac, doesn't it? The nutcase Charlie, sitting with her paintbrushes and aceton in solitary in her room... ohlala. Maybe I'm just locked in here by the evil man with the blue beard, and there's one room I am not allowed to open... even though, I DO HAVE THE KEY...Sigh. Nah, I'm just an asocial maniac I'm afraid, but a generally happy maniac in any case. And, huh, who would like to be sane in a world as insane as this? Brrr!
Ok. So I'm done cleaning. The place smells like a factory making detergent, and is probably not the slightest bit cleaner than it was before. Ilse said she would drop by and have a chat with me after the inspection, but she seems lost and gone. I bet shes downstairs chatting with Sander, which is fine with me. I wont unpack the rabbits before the evening anyway.
In a few hours I'm off on my bike again, whistling down the city center to Wijde Beginnerstraat.
While I wait for the rain to stop, I will have a look at all the chairs the ADHD group is falling in between in prison.
Gawd. I even miss the lunatic across my hallway with the nazi inspired thoughts (why on earth isn't there better sifting through at the prison school?). I hope my tutor drops by in october as she said she would. I havent heard from her in a while, but that doesn't mean much. I know how fast weeks are passing by at work. I mean, I spent almost 8 months there (minus my holiday), but now it seems like a week...
Oh, a couple of days ago I saw the biggest spider Ive ever seen... in the wild I mean. Well, wild and wild. Without having a glass between it and me in some kind of zoo, in any case. I saw something move in the corner of my eye and looked... which made me yell holy shit and mothers milk quite loud in the hallway... the bloody bastard was prolly around 5 cm big, and then he wasn't even stretched out. I ran like a maniac to get my camera and took all kinds of pictures before I sneaked out and hoped he would make a giant nest that I could take more pictures of... but the next day he was dead! I put him in a box... didn't have the heart to just throw him out. Now I'd like to put him in a glass box so I can freak out my mother every time she comes visiting.
I wont have to freak out my sister anymore anyway. There's no chance in this life that she will ever visit me, or call me, or say hello to me, ever again. Who cares? Well, I did. Then I realized that it didn't affect my life. I was told once how blood is thicker than water, well, tell me whatever you want... but for me to believe it, prove it. So far, no luck?
Water is good enough for me. I'm not that fond of blood, though I don't mind it as such. I don't like flies or other insects either, btw, in case you wonder. But then, spiders are not insects anyway. Actually, we have quite a few mozzies squized on the wall, but thats just pure nutcase syndrome, ("a mozzie? darn it, I wanna sleep..." SPLAT! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ). I need more spiders around to make webs, to catch those nasty mozzies.
I'm off.