John i have alot to say to you and i really dont know how to say it.
First off you and Sean have probably been the the best friends i have and will ever have period. I know we only spent a short time together basically a summer and half a school year. I dont know what you think about it but you and sean seem to be the only people i can really relate to. Sense of humor, emotions, music....need i go on. I feel that your a true friend. Like i said, i dont know how you feel, but this is how i feel.
second, your moving to chicago....yeah, i do feel like its abandoment. Why? well i feel like your giving up on your life and trying to start a new one. I mean, i'm all for second chances and what not, but i dont see what was wrong with how you are now? you have friends that care about you and would basically do anything for you. You have a family that cares so much for you. your mom, dad, sister...
Third, this whole thing with communication. well how can we not feel like your just going to vanish. I havent heard from you in...since i was home and call you. Yeah a phone goes two ways, but i dont think its my place to call you. i feel as if, if you (as in John) want to talk to someone then you'll call them. I dont see how hard it is to call a number. Ive been trying to get sean to come up here and visit me. But the sad thing is, i'm losing touch with him too.
forth, i havce so much to put here but i just dont have the time right now. I'll reply with more later
dude...dont feel like i'm doing that at all....recent updates on the chicago thing are in order for saying....we're postponing the move for another year...relax on that one.
when we go its because i need to find a different setting in which i'm in now to hence forth grow on my own path. its something i need to do for me. people who "need" me around here are not willing to let me go and gain their own independence.
i'm gonna break and sound like an ass here....but i think that a lot of people not only expect my kindness out of me at all times, and they unknowingly use me for my generosity, plus i'm the moral support for tons, and i have so much responsibillity...now i'm feeling like the momma bird that pushes the kids out to teach them to fly....its time for me to do my job and teach, teach people to be independent from me. i'm not always going to be remembered in peoples lives, so what. the point is that i am here physically, but more importantly: morally, emotionally, comically, phillisophically, spiritually, and all other kinds of "ally's." but all that's being removed is my phisical presence. you're not here right now in columbus, and sure things are changing here, with or without you...but you're in a new setting now testing out different/new parts of jeremy's life...i'm simply doing the same thing...just....without school
i'm working on saving enough money to travel everywhere i need to go to see the people i need to see before i DO leave...dont count yourself out of that...
i've talked about the "love" in my family on many entries before so i'm not going to even dignify myself with a response to that. (super troopers-farva)
you know...i kinda lost track of where i'm going with this, so i'm just going to stop...plus this conversation shouldnt be happening via online journalling.
First off you and Sean have probably been the the best friends i have and will ever have period. I know we only spent a short time together basically a summer and half a school year. I dont know what you think about it but you and sean seem to be the only people i can really relate to. Sense of humor, emotions, music....need i go on. I feel that your a true friend. Like i said, i dont know how you feel, but this is how i feel.
second, your moving to chicago....yeah, i do feel like its abandoment. Why? well i feel like your giving up on your life and trying to start a new one. I mean, i'm all for second chances and what not, but i dont see what was wrong with how you are now? you have friends that care about you and would basically do anything for you. You have a family that cares so much for you. your mom, dad, sister...
Third, this whole thing with communication. well how can we not feel like your just going to vanish. I havent heard from you in...since i was home and call you. Yeah a phone goes two ways, but i dont think its my place to call you. i feel as if, if you (as in John) want to talk to someone then you'll call them. I dont see how hard it is to call a number. Ive been trying to get sean to come up here and visit me. But the sad thing is, i'm losing touch with him too.
forth, i havce so much to put here but i just dont have the time right now. I'll reply with more later
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when we go its because i need to find a different setting in which i'm in now to hence forth grow on my own path. its something i need to do for me. people who "need" me around here are not willing to let me go and gain their own independence.
i'm gonna break and sound like an ass here....but i think that a lot of people not only expect my kindness out of me at all times, and they unknowingly use me for my generosity, plus i'm the moral support for tons, and i have so much responsibillity...now i'm feeling like the momma bird that pushes the kids out to teach them to fly....its time for me to do my job and teach, teach people to be independent from me. i'm not always going to be remembered in peoples lives, so what. the point is that i am here physically, but more importantly: morally, emotionally, comically, phillisophically, spiritually, and all other kinds of "ally's." but all that's being removed is my phisical presence.
you're not here right now in columbus, and sure things are changing here, with or without you...but you're in a new setting now testing out different/new parts of jeremy's life...i'm simply doing the same thing...just....without school
i'm working on saving enough money to travel everywhere i need to go to see the people i need to see before i DO leave...dont count yourself out of that...
i've talked about the "love" in my family on many entries before so i'm not going to even dignify myself with a response to that. (super troopers-farva)
you know...i kinda lost track of where i'm going with this, so i'm just going to stop...plus this conversation shouldnt be happening via online journalling.
so i'm out for now...
peace
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