Stretched thin
Patience. Will power. Pain tolerance. Concentration. Ability to cope. Temper. Emotional control. Energy.
Enough said.
Ambien again last night - fell asleep in the middle of "What did the ancients know". Finally find an interesting tv show (learned where the concept of zero came from) and I can't stay awake. Crap is on tv and I can't fall asleep.
Broke out in hives last night, mainly on my legs - felt like something bit me, then I got red and blotchy. Took a benadryl to stop - didn't really do much or so it seemed, but the hives didn't spread, so probably did.
Struggling. Tired of being tired, tired of hurting, tired of shit being completely destroyed because I'm tired and hurting, tired of getting completely destroyed by nothing and everything. Got ready for work this morning and then was so disgusted with how the house looked and smelled that I went on a cleaning frenzy - recycled, vaccuumed, dishes, scrubbed the counters and tables, mopped. 30 mins and the house looks and smells nice. Kids have a half day today. God help them if it's not like that when I get home.
Orthopedic appt. Monday morning to see why my foot still hurts. I'm sure they won't have a fucking clue. Rheumatologist appt Friday - yeah, cause that'll be useful.
Having a tough time dealing with attitudes at home. Very tired of "worry" being expressed with comments like "what's going to be wrong with you tomorrow, it's something new every day", tired of keeping things to myself and pretending I'm fine when I'm not just because i don't want to hear it. Feeling very down, enough so that I am going to talk to my rheum. about one of the other meds that deals not only with depression but also the pain and sleep issues...maybe my med just stopped working, because I'm really in a deep dark place.
Huge headache, body pain, plus I'm stumbling all over the place, my ability to judge spacial concepts seems off. Was definitely a day I woke up wanting to skip ahead to 9pm.
If Sunday is nice, asked my mom to come over and have lunch. =) Of course that means I have to go food shopping tomorrow. LOL
Enough said.
Ambien again last night - fell asleep in the middle of "What did the ancients know". Finally find an interesting tv show (learned where the concept of zero came from) and I can't stay awake. Crap is on tv and I can't fall asleep.
Broke out in hives last night, mainly on my legs - felt like something bit me, then I got red and blotchy. Took a benadryl to stop - didn't really do much or so it seemed, but the hives didn't spread, so probably did.
Struggling. Tired of being tired, tired of hurting, tired of shit being completely destroyed because I'm tired and hurting, tired of getting completely destroyed by nothing and everything. Got ready for work this morning and then was so disgusted with how the house looked and smelled that I went on a cleaning frenzy - recycled, vaccuumed, dishes, scrubbed the counters and tables, mopped. 30 mins and the house looks and smells nice. Kids have a half day today. God help them if it's not like that when I get home.
Orthopedic appt. Monday morning to see why my foot still hurts. I'm sure they won't have a fucking clue. Rheumatologist appt Friday - yeah, cause that'll be useful.
Having a tough time dealing with attitudes at home. Very tired of "worry" being expressed with comments like "what's going to be wrong with you tomorrow, it's something new every day", tired of keeping things to myself and pretending I'm fine when I'm not just because i don't want to hear it. Feeling very down, enough so that I am going to talk to my rheum. about one of the other meds that deals not only with depression but also the pain and sleep issues...maybe my med just stopped working, because I'm really in a deep dark place.
Huge headache, body pain, plus I'm stumbling all over the place, my ability to judge spacial concepts seems off. Was definitely a day I woke up wanting to skip ahead to 9pm.
If Sunday is nice, asked my mom to come over and have lunch. =) Of course that means I have to go food shopping tomorrow. LOL