wow
I am completely absolutely wrung out today. My pain levels are steady around maybe a 7, my discomfort is huge, I'm so incredibly fatigued, it's an overall physical and mental exhaustion that is giving me intense tunnel vision and an inability to connect with other human beings in a way that makes sense to them.
I was SO incredibly upset yesterday, and stressed out trying to get to the doctors and then failing (I threw my blackberry at the windshield - in retrospect that was a stupid thing and I'm blessed I'm not a strong pitcher while driving a car in downtown Boston traffic while trying to avoid the college kids who are playing Frogger with the cars), and then again in the afternoon at my therapy session going over things, and everything in my life is in limbo right now with no sign one way or another, which is probably good because the idea of finding energy to think today is miserable, let alone to do. The only thing that is clicking with me is analytics, so I've been buried in my web analytics all day. That'd be perfect if it didn't mean I had to explain my findings. I'll save those for tomorrow and hope this gets better by then.
Note to self - huge explosions of emotion are incredibly dangerous. Learn to rig some shields for crying out loud.
I was SO incredibly upset yesterday, and stressed out trying to get to the doctors and then failing (I threw my blackberry at the windshield - in retrospect that was a stupid thing and I'm blessed I'm not a strong pitcher while driving a car in downtown Boston traffic while trying to avoid the college kids who are playing Frogger with the cars), and then again in the afternoon at my therapy session going over things, and everything in my life is in limbo right now with no sign one way or another, which is probably good because the idea of finding energy to think today is miserable, let alone to do. The only thing that is clicking with me is analytics, so I've been buried in my web analytics all day. That'd be perfect if it didn't mean I had to explain my findings. I'll save those for tomorrow and hope this gets better by then.
Note to self - huge explosions of emotion are incredibly dangerous. Learn to rig some shields for crying out loud.