And there's nothing I can do. Nothing anyone can do.
Two of the last three nights I've worked have involved guns. First night, a valet dove in through the front doors and shouted for me to get down from my stool by the door. There were people with guns in the street in front of Zentra. Tonight I left with my ride and walked by two people laying in the street, one beaten into unconsciousness and one pistol whipped and nearly shot. Both times the police were there and we were safe, but people could have died. Tonight, the one guy looks like he'll never see out of one eye again, and the other's jaw didn't look right.
Two and a half years ago a bar around the corner lost two bouncers in a gunfight, another was seriously and permanently injured. 6 months later a man was shot 8 times at another nearby bar and killed, a bouncer shot but survived. A year ago another bouncer was stabbed JUST around the corner. People die every day, every night. Shot, stabbed, beaten. For nothing. Just a whim. Because the FELT like it.
But it isn't the alcohol. Its too easy to blame it on vices and chalk it up to "drugs make you crazy." People are crazy. People kill people to get their motherfucking rocks off. PEOPLE in the general sense, these fucking people in the specific, aren't worth the air we let them breath. They don't deserve the fucking presence we suffer them to create. They barely deserve the life nature gave them. Maybe they deserve the same death they deal.
This has to stop? Something has to be done? Or maybe, like the others say, its just part of the life.
Well fuck that.
My contempt for the general populace stood at the academic, theoretical level for the longest time. "People are like lemmings." "The masses are asses..." blah blah bullshit. Since I was 18 its slowly become something much more serious. More concrete and spiritually draining. Something that keeps me up at night in confusion. STRANGERS, having never known one another, pull guns in the street and start shooting. Its so fucking stupid I can't even wrap my mind around it.
Sure, everyone knows this. Sometimes things you've understood for decades still make you want to scream.
War is one thing. Once or twice in a thousand years it might even be justified. This is something completely different.
One of the older bouncers told me tonight that I'm a great bouncer, but that I should quit before I shut down. He said I think too much.
I think too much.
I'm not sure where I'm going.
I can't handle this anymore.
Two and a half years ago a bar around the corner lost two bouncers in a gunfight, another was seriously and permanently injured. 6 months later a man was shot 8 times at another nearby bar and killed, a bouncer shot but survived. A year ago another bouncer was stabbed JUST around the corner. People die every day, every night. Shot, stabbed, beaten. For nothing. Just a whim. Because the FELT like it.
But it isn't the alcohol. Its too easy to blame it on vices and chalk it up to "drugs make you crazy." People are crazy. People kill people to get their motherfucking rocks off. PEOPLE in the general sense, these fucking people in the specific, aren't worth the air we let them breath. They don't deserve the fucking presence we suffer them to create. They barely deserve the life nature gave them. Maybe they deserve the same death they deal.
This has to stop? Something has to be done? Or maybe, like the others say, its just part of the life.
Well fuck that.
My contempt for the general populace stood at the academic, theoretical level for the longest time. "People are like lemmings." "The masses are asses..." blah blah bullshit. Since I was 18 its slowly become something much more serious. More concrete and spiritually draining. Something that keeps me up at night in confusion. STRANGERS, having never known one another, pull guns in the street and start shooting. Its so fucking stupid I can't even wrap my mind around it.
Sure, everyone knows this. Sometimes things you've understood for decades still make you want to scream.
War is one thing. Once or twice in a thousand years it might even be justified. This is something completely different.
One of the older bouncers told me tonight that I'm a great bouncer, but that I should quit before I shut down. He said I think too much.
I think too much.
I'm not sure where I'm going.
I can't handle this anymore.