Musings...rather pointless really
Well, it's one of those evenings where, try as I might, I can't seem to achieve anything. But it's alright, I've worked hard enough all day, I guess. I'm busy finishing the formation I shall give next thursday, and we're nearly ready. I'm slightly nervous, of course, but that's to be expected. My only true worry is that my teamworker is really, but really awful in front of a crowd. Heck, she's already stammering and forgetting what to say, speaking like a child who has learned his lesson by heart, and we're not in front of the class yet. But I can't do a thing about it, so I'll hope for the best.
I should take this free time to write, but, alas, I don't feel like it. Too much schoolwork does this to me: it kills my creativity, so that even when I have a little free time, I can't write a thing. Well, I can, here, but not in my story. The coldness of my room doesn't help either, I must say. My window doesn't quite shup tight, and of course the heaters aren't on yet, so I'm freezing to death. No amount of scalding tea had managed to warm me. I'm giving 'til next week to start heating the damn place, after that they'll hear about it. There also is the lack of light. I've tried to fight it as long as I can, but it's finally getting at me. And so I feel a little be more depressive, I feel the need to be alone, and quiet. People who are very cheerful and boucny irritate me, and I try to avoid them as much as I can. It's been worse it seems this year, we've had so much rainy days. But then, perhaps it's just me. In anycase it will come to pass, so I don't worry too much.
What I do worry about it the big chance that took place last week: One of my very close friends is moving away from our hometown. He has been offered a job here, in Montreal, and after all those years of desesperatly searching for a good one, he finally got one. But, he must leave us to do so (by us I mean me and my boyfriend). So we are very happy for him, yet we aren't. Right now, for me, it's not that bad, he's working pretty close from the residences, so I get to see him more often. It's for my boyfried that it's the hardest: that particular friend is his best friend. And my boyfriend really, really hates Montreal. So much so he made me promise I would find a job after I graduate anywhere but there. He does not want to more there. Period. It scares me sometimes because I know it'll be hard to find a job in my hometown. Yet I understand how he feels, and why. I truly do. I try to tell myself "We'll see when we get there", but it's hard. I've spent the week pondering about all this, and, like everyone else stuck in likewise situations, I did not find a miracle solution, not could I foresee the future.
I should take this free time to write, but, alas, I don't feel like it. Too much schoolwork does this to me: it kills my creativity, so that even when I have a little free time, I can't write a thing. Well, I can, here, but not in my story. The coldness of my room doesn't help either, I must say. My window doesn't quite shup tight, and of course the heaters aren't on yet, so I'm freezing to death. No amount of scalding tea had managed to warm me. I'm giving 'til next week to start heating the damn place, after that they'll hear about it. There also is the lack of light. I've tried to fight it as long as I can, but it's finally getting at me. And so I feel a little be more depressive, I feel the need to be alone, and quiet. People who are very cheerful and boucny irritate me, and I try to avoid them as much as I can. It's been worse it seems this year, we've had so much rainy days. But then, perhaps it's just me. In anycase it will come to pass, so I don't worry too much.
What I do worry about it the big chance that took place last week: One of my very close friends is moving away from our hometown. He has been offered a job here, in Montreal, and after all those years of desesperatly searching for a good one, he finally got one. But, he must leave us to do so (by us I mean me and my boyfriend). So we are very happy for him, yet we aren't. Right now, for me, it's not that bad, he's working pretty close from the residences, so I get to see him more often. It's for my boyfried that it's the hardest: that particular friend is his best friend. And my boyfriend really, really hates Montreal. So much so he made me promise I would find a job after I graduate anywhere but there. He does not want to more there. Period. It scares me sometimes because I know it'll be hard to find a job in my hometown. Yet I understand how he feels, and why. I truly do. I try to tell myself "We'll see when we get there", but it's hard. I've spent the week pondering about all this, and, like everyone else stuck in likewise situations, I did not find a miracle solution, not could I foresee the future.