(no subject)
I feel really disconnected from LJ right now. I realize that I've done a lot of whining, in the times I was able to post, and that I haven't been posting much because I didn't have internet access or a working laptop at times, and that I haven't been keeping up at all with others' LJs.
I accept it. It is what it is. I'm not closing the blog or anything, but the longer this goes on, the greater the backlog of things I really need to write about becomes, and with that, the inclination to just skip it, because I'm a completionist/perfectionist, and I'm going to want to go back and cover everything in detail, and I can't, and it will frustrate me more than just not writing about it at all.
I do genuinely feel a sense of community with my LJ connections, and I don't want to lose access to that.
But I no longer have the time or other resources to spend hours a day on maintaining that that I used to have when my life was different.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. Humans work better in smaller groups in realspace. It's not innate to be able to handle the vastness of the internet, or for that matter, having friends across states or nations, that's why people drift apart. What isn't present becomes less real. It's how we work, and there is no escaping that. We can work against it, but if it fails, why punish oneself?
So I am attempting to relieve myself of the self-appointed duty to write up everything that ever happens to me.
I'll never publish, or become famous enough for it to matter. Why be so self-absorbed and retrospective? There's life to be lived in real time. Opportunity cost: the time I would spend chronicling everything would cut into my time spend doing things worth writing about.
I am also trying to relieve myself of the guilt from dropping the ball on the self-appointed obligation of keeping up with everyone here and on facebook and G+ and everywhere else. Your lives will go on whether I comment on them or not, and we who love social networking will continue to share, regardless of fluctuations in our audience.
A very different person, in very different life circumstances started this blog years ago.
The person he is becoming is living a life that doesn't really allow for it or require it in the same way.
He felt empty and alone in real life, and reached out across the world to bind people to him.
But now he has more connections in realspace than he can manage. Something had to give.
I accept it. It is what it is. I'm not closing the blog or anything, but the longer this goes on, the greater the backlog of things I really need to write about becomes, and with that, the inclination to just skip it, because I'm a completionist/perfectionist, and I'm going to want to go back and cover everything in detail, and I can't, and it will frustrate me more than just not writing about it at all.
I do genuinely feel a sense of community with my LJ connections, and I don't want to lose access to that.
But I no longer have the time or other resources to spend hours a day on maintaining that that I used to have when my life was different.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. Humans work better in smaller groups in realspace. It's not innate to be able to handle the vastness of the internet, or for that matter, having friends across states or nations, that's why people drift apart. What isn't present becomes less real. It's how we work, and there is no escaping that. We can work against it, but if it fails, why punish oneself?
So I am attempting to relieve myself of the self-appointed duty to write up everything that ever happens to me.
I'll never publish, or become famous enough for it to matter. Why be so self-absorbed and retrospective? There's life to be lived in real time. Opportunity cost: the time I would spend chronicling everything would cut into my time spend doing things worth writing about.
I am also trying to relieve myself of the guilt from dropping the ball on the self-appointed obligation of keeping up with everyone here and on facebook and G+ and everywhere else. Your lives will go on whether I comment on them or not, and we who love social networking will continue to share, regardless of fluctuations in our audience.
A very different person, in very different life circumstances started this blog years ago.
The person he is becoming is living a life that doesn't really allow for it or require it in the same way.
He felt empty and alone in real life, and reached out across the world to bind people to him.
But now he has more connections in realspace than he can manage. Something had to give.