(no subject)
i cant get any sleep...again
sleepings gotten difficult
now a days its more like dozing for a couple of minutes every night
semeon leaving at the end of the year jolts me awake everytime i try to shut my eyes
i dont want him to leave
i've started planning something for him at the end of the year
it'll be a party at the summit
nice restaurant
i think 10-12 invited
dont bring money
i'll pay
theres so many things i wana put down at this point
but livejournal seems like such an unfitting place to put it...
i feel like i should do so much for him but i cant and i think thats what makes me so angry at myself
friendship is valued so much more when you know you only have a certain amount of time left to enjoy it
im not sure what i can or should do
but i know i need to do something
also dont mind if i am being annoying or mean, its from the lack of sleep
last night i climbed on top of the roof and enjoyed the night sky for the first time in a long time
its a much better place to be instead of my room
thats prolly why i cant/havent run
i dont have the energy to
why the fuck does he have to leave anyway??
i ask that question to myself every couple of seconds
and i tell myself its because of his fathers new job, more money, blah blah blah....
but they seem like lame excuses for a question that seems so hard to answer
finally i just except it
but than a second later
i ask myself the same question again
and the cycle repeats itself
its now january the 4th
which means half of the year has passed me by
half a year left
i wonder what i will do in the last half of the year?
but i think the question that scares me the most to ask myself
is what will i do next year?
sleepings gotten difficult
now a days its more like dozing for a couple of minutes every night
semeon leaving at the end of the year jolts me awake everytime i try to shut my eyes
i dont want him to leave
i've started planning something for him at the end of the year
it'll be a party at the summit
nice restaurant
i think 10-12 invited
dont bring money
i'll pay
theres so many things i wana put down at this point
but livejournal seems like such an unfitting place to put it...
i feel like i should do so much for him but i cant and i think thats what makes me so angry at myself
friendship is valued so much more when you know you only have a certain amount of time left to enjoy it
im not sure what i can or should do
but i know i need to do something
also dont mind if i am being annoying or mean, its from the lack of sleep
last night i climbed on top of the roof and enjoyed the night sky for the first time in a long time
its a much better place to be instead of my room
thats prolly why i cant/havent run
i dont have the energy to
why the fuck does he have to leave anyway??
i ask that question to myself every couple of seconds
and i tell myself its because of his fathers new job, more money, blah blah blah....
but they seem like lame excuses for a question that seems so hard to answer
finally i just except it
but than a second later
i ask myself the same question again
and the cycle repeats itself
its now january the 4th
which means half of the year has passed me by
half a year left
i wonder what i will do in the last half of the year?
but i think the question that scares me the most to ask myself
is what will i do next year?