Day 525, Mysterious Thing Called Sexual Attraction...
"Does love at first sight exist?"
Just so we're clear, if "love at first sight" means knowing whether you're sexually interested in and compatiable with someone, the answer is absolutely. Human beings make these kinds of judgements very quickly. A three-minute speed date is two minutes and fifty-five seconds too long.
"Is that because we find a certain type sexually attractive?"
We tell a story about who we're interested in, but it bears no relationship to what happens in the moment. In speed dating, if I ask you to describe what you think you're attracted to, your description will have almost nothing in common with who you are actually attracted to. We have no clue what we're going to find attractive.
"Are men and women different in this cluelessness?"
This part of it seems gender neutral. What isn't gender neutral, using the speed-dating-environment example, is that men will almost always be attracted to about half the women in a room, regardless of how many there are. Women will always be attracted to two or three men in a room, regardless of the number of men. Women are a lot more conservative, and they put more of their eggs in one basket. But I don't think they're any more in touch than men are with this mysterious thing called sexual attraction.
Just so we're clear, if "love at first sight" means knowing whether you're sexually interested in and compatiable with someone, the answer is absolutely. Human beings make these kinds of judgements very quickly. A three-minute speed date is two minutes and fifty-five seconds too long.
"Is that because we find a certain type sexually attractive?"
We tell a story about who we're interested in, but it bears no relationship to what happens in the moment. In speed dating, if I ask you to describe what you think you're attracted to, your description will have almost nothing in common with who you are actually attracted to. We have no clue what we're going to find attractive.
"Are men and women different in this cluelessness?"
This part of it seems gender neutral. What isn't gender neutral, using the speed-dating-environment example, is that men will almost always be attracted to about half the women in a room, regardless of how many there are. Women will always be attracted to two or three men in a room, regardless of the number of men. Women are a lot more conservative, and they put more of their eggs in one basket. But I don't think they're any more in touch than men are with this mysterious thing called sexual attraction.