(no subject)
Josh's visit was spectacular. We saw a lot of the city, went up to Muir Woods, and had a good time overall. He just got back to Boston from Portland tonight. Corey has been here for almost a week and we've also been having a fabulous time. We spent the other day entirely in Golden Gate Park, trekking through the small paths, smoking in gullies, and then taking a paddle boat around a lake. We made it to the beach around sunset, then made it back to the house. Today, we went to Muir woods and hiked about seven miles. It was beautiful and we had a great time with Kim.
So now I feel my paranoia coming back. Josh is back and I'm going back on Friday morning. When I'm there, Josh and I will no longer have San Francisco over our heads. I was nervous that we had an obligation to each other between the times of the ticket and the trip, but now I get this nagging doubt that maybe this is the beginning of the end. There's nothing to suggest it, except for my own paranoid feelings. I'm so tired of beating myself up like this. I'm excited to see him again. I missed sleeping with someone else, and I found it hard to fall asleep on my own again.
Unfortunately, Boston is really cold, and I don't know how I'm going to deal with the winter weather now. This semester is going to bring on a lot of change. I need to figure out my summer, my housing for next year, my classes, my life.
Anyway, I have all of tomorrow in the city and most of they day on thursday. I'm getting scared about leaving again. This trip felt very different, but at least I enjoyed myself. And at least it feels like I've been here for a while. I'm going to miss it here, but I'm glad to be over the mono hell I was in and I'm excited to start over in Boston in 2007.
So now I feel my paranoia coming back. Josh is back and I'm going back on Friday morning. When I'm there, Josh and I will no longer have San Francisco over our heads. I was nervous that we had an obligation to each other between the times of the ticket and the trip, but now I get this nagging doubt that maybe this is the beginning of the end. There's nothing to suggest it, except for my own paranoid feelings. I'm so tired of beating myself up like this. I'm excited to see him again. I missed sleeping with someone else, and I found it hard to fall asleep on my own again.
Unfortunately, Boston is really cold, and I don't know how I'm going to deal with the winter weather now. This semester is going to bring on a lot of change. I need to figure out my summer, my housing for next year, my classes, my life.
Anyway, I have all of tomorrow in the city and most of they day on thursday. I'm getting scared about leaving again. This trip felt very different, but at least I enjoyed myself. And at least it feels like I've been here for a while. I'm going to miss it here, but I'm glad to be over the mono hell I was in and I'm excited to start over in Boston in 2007.