(no subject)
I hate being a sentimental, romantic, nostalgic, emotional, and intellectual. Strip me of my foresight, my perspective, my introspective, and I'd be much happier. Lately I've been a sucker for nostalgia even more so than ever before, I guess it's maturity, or perhaps premature aging, I immerse myself in thoughts, feelings, and ideas. I take what I can from every moment. What bothers me more than any time I fuck up, are the times I've never done anything, hindsight bothers me far too much. I hate the feeling of exclusion, but I hate the feeling of dependency even more. I want nothing more than independence in everything I am and everything I will be. I want to make things simple and sweet, keep ideas to the bare minimal. Make me not care; apathy is a cheap and effective defence against giving a fuck.
I don't know what this year was supposed to be, or even what it was. I can't remember any one person, place or thing that had any great significance to me. I'd be hard pressed to remember what I did last weekend, and I'd be even more hard pressed to remember what I did in the beginning of this year. I save trinkets all the time to try to remind myself of what I've did in the past, but it does nothing but clutter my mind and room. I cling to everything and everyone in my life. I don't like losing things, even if they're worthless. I don't like wasting things, even if I don't want them. I want to save the world, but I don't want to miss out on the worst of it all.
I don't know what this year was supposed to be, or even what it was. I can't remember any one person, place or thing that had any great significance to me. I'd be hard pressed to remember what I did last weekend, and I'd be even more hard pressed to remember what I did in the beginning of this year. I save trinkets all the time to try to remind myself of what I've did in the past, but it does nothing but clutter my mind and room. I cling to everything and everyone in my life. I don't like losing things, even if they're worthless. I don't like wasting things, even if I don't want them. I want to save the world, but I don't want to miss out on the worst of it all.