Questions.

[pseudo_nym]

i don't know if it's because it's a new year, or simply my current state of mind, but lately i have been thinking about myself, my life, my friends, my past, present and future, my faults, my virtues, my image, how i am portrayed to others. this self-analysis could be a good thing, leading up to a reflection, followed by a re-invention. however, it could be a bad thing, leading up to paranoia, self-hatred or cynicism.

i think about my friends, how they have changed. how i first met the people closest to me, and how i lost those now far away forgotten. why i have made friends with them, what effects they had on me, or me on them (if any). the differences between friends i used to have, and friends i have now. why are they different? is it a change for the worse, or for the better? i think about the way my friends have treated me in the past, how they treat me now. the way i treated them, then and now. i think about respect and awe and wonder; do they respect me as i respect them? those that looked down on me before, what is different about them to those that look up to me now? the way i acted around them, and how i act now. am i myself? am i ever the same around two different people? is there a reason why i act differently around different people. is it sub-conscious, or do i mean to do it? does it make me two-faced, or just of infinite variety?

all these questions, are they rhetorical? will i ever find answers for them? with answers found, new questions appear. that means that i will never be truly answered for by myself.

the ink on the question mark key is soon to rub off, i'm sure.