(no subject)
Dear New Friend,
THANK YOU For replying to my e-mail FINALLY. I was waiting with bated breath (Seriously. You should have smelled it. It was definitely bated). And THANK YOU for making it so clear you have better things to do than talk to me, what with your concise, self-contained answers that do not warrant a response. I am seriously too young and too fragile to hear that you don't want to talk to me anymore and I'm afraid I might actually throw myself down the stairs in my dorm (there are only a couple so I'd have to go down a couple times) if you had actually been an adult about this! You are seriously looking out for me, man!
Love,
Your One-month Soul Mate!
THANK YOU For replying to my e-mail FINALLY. I was waiting with bated breath (Seriously. You should have smelled it. It was definitely bated). And THANK YOU for making it so clear you have better things to do than talk to me, what with your concise, self-contained answers that do not warrant a response. I am seriously too young and too fragile to hear that you don't want to talk to me anymore and I'm afraid I might actually throw myself down the stairs in my dorm (there are only a couple so I'd have to go down a couple times) if you had actually been an adult about this! You are seriously looking out for me, man!
Love,
Your One-month Soul Mate!