digital story
Many years ago, I was a 15-year old confused teenager with a desperate need for self-expression, I would write little stories and so-called poetry in a notebook. That is when I discovered livejournal and a fortunate opportunity to bless a wide audience with the products of my supposed talent. Livejournal was already an aging blogging platform, starting to be abandoned by bloggers in the rest of civilized world. But for my home country, freshly recovered from the disgrace and web-illiteracy of the 1990s, and trying vainly to catch up with the global net, everything was a pure excitement. As it was for me. And so we met and matched, livejournal and me.
As more and more bloggers were following manifestations of my immaturity, I was accumulating a cozy comfort zone, an environment open and only mildly judgmental towards any rash thoughts and actions. It was indeed a beautiful change -- all of a sudden I had a circle of imaginary friends to play with and an imaginary stage to speak from, and all that without leaving home. A lot of secrets and unfortunate non-mutual affections were revealed in the first years of mindless self-centered blogging, a lot of inferior quality poetry and prose was showered upon the innocent readers. I felt bohemian and profound. To stay energized I would even occasionally get into violent existential on-line arguments. Just like a real communication, only better.
After 3-4 years of full disclosure, I experienced some symptoms of dignity and shame and decided to destroy all the evidence by creating a new account, nickname and, therefore, a new identity. This new character became more discreet and selective with the contents, more elaborate with the words, more visual and less whiny. I started to dare try myself in photography and was sharing it with the world, as well as my handmade and drawing attempts. Also, my texts became longer and better. I felt bohemian and profound. Apart from this indeed fulfilling awareness, livejournal was helping me to shape my visual culture, get inspired and form opinions on various subjects through reading posts of bloggers, designers and journalists I followed. In addition, it gave me a priceless audience to seek for advice from, to test my ideas on and to establish a conversation on any number of topics.
At some point along the way I found myself in Finnish Lapland. With no friends and almost no acquaintances, endless darkness and quietness and too many changes altogether, the on-line journal was helping me to keep sanity, to support and alter my relationships with my home galaxy far far away. Never before had I written so often or posted so much of visual information. It was mostly public reflection upon the surrounding reality and whatever inner processes I was going through, reviewing and reconsidering of my relationships with home, people and myself. Soon I started to give perspective on moving and starting a new life abroad. It turned out to be helpful for some of the readers. And so little by little we pulled it off, livejournal and me.
Lately, my real world has become more dynamic, eventful and happy which has resulted into a significant decrease of blog activity. Every now and then complete strangers want to know if everything is ok with me due to my absence in livejournal. First long absence in 10 years.
I don't plan to completely give up on blogging, after all it has been my tool of emotional survival in the jungle of life. The next step is a blog on professional matters of environmental design and architecture, for example. Just to feel bohemian and profound, you know.
PS: Поскольку я опять студент, то делаю периодически всякие студенческие задания. Например, нужно было показать диджитал стори про одно из средств медиа. Невзирая на унизительно звучащий собственный голос и прочий срам, покажу и вам:
As more and more bloggers were following manifestations of my immaturity, I was accumulating a cozy comfort zone, an environment open and only mildly judgmental towards any rash thoughts and actions. It was indeed a beautiful change -- all of a sudden I had a circle of imaginary friends to play with and an imaginary stage to speak from, and all that without leaving home. A lot of secrets and unfortunate non-mutual affections were revealed in the first years of mindless self-centered blogging, a lot of inferior quality poetry and prose was showered upon the innocent readers. I felt bohemian and profound. To stay energized I would even occasionally get into violent existential on-line arguments. Just like a real communication, only better.
After 3-4 years of full disclosure, I experienced some symptoms of dignity and shame and decided to destroy all the evidence by creating a new account, nickname and, therefore, a new identity. This new character became more discreet and selective with the contents, more elaborate with the words, more visual and less whiny. I started to dare try myself in photography and was sharing it with the world, as well as my handmade and drawing attempts. Also, my texts became longer and better. I felt bohemian and profound. Apart from this indeed fulfilling awareness, livejournal was helping me to shape my visual culture, get inspired and form opinions on various subjects through reading posts of bloggers, designers and journalists I followed. In addition, it gave me a priceless audience to seek for advice from, to test my ideas on and to establish a conversation on any number of topics.
At some point along the way I found myself in Finnish Lapland. With no friends and almost no acquaintances, endless darkness and quietness and too many changes altogether, the on-line journal was helping me to keep sanity, to support and alter my relationships with my home galaxy far far away. Never before had I written so often or posted so much of visual information. It was mostly public reflection upon the surrounding reality and whatever inner processes I was going through, reviewing and reconsidering of my relationships with home, people and myself. Soon I started to give perspective on moving and starting a new life abroad. It turned out to be helpful for some of the readers. And so little by little we pulled it off, livejournal and me.
Lately, my real world has become more dynamic, eventful and happy which has resulted into a significant decrease of blog activity. Every now and then complete strangers want to know if everything is ok with me due to my absence in livejournal. First long absence in 10 years.
I don't plan to completely give up on blogging, after all it has been my tool of emotional survival in the jungle of life. The next step is a blog on professional matters of environmental design and architecture, for example. Just to feel bohemian and profound, you know.
PS: Поскольку я опять студент, то делаю периодически всякие студенческие задания. Например, нужно было показать диджитал стори про одно из средств медиа. Невзирая на унизительно звучащий собственный голос и прочий срам, покажу и вам:
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