(no subject)
i cant stop shaking. i havent cried because of him in so long god dammit john why do you know how to make me cry and why do you do it right when i feel ok? you know those are the two worst things to fuck with me about why didnt you just talk to me before? its harder now than it would have been if we just stayed friends but we didnt and now it hurts. i closed up and this hurts, being ripped open again. im sorry i freaked out on you, but i thought you would have known not to joke like that.
wow. i feel better. i guess. im still confused. and im still shaking. why did it take almost two months to talk about this? i wish you would have helped me out a little and taken all the tears you were going to take from me at once, back in may. but whatever, i guess this works.. sorry i freaked. you just took me by surprise.
-mars