Hey Hey Hey
How is life treating the rest of the world? I guess its treating me ok, aside from the fact that I am torturing myself to some extent. Sadly I like Chase still and it hurts cause he likes Amanda and he talks about it. Sometimes I want to hit him upside the head and yell "I like you! So shut up about Amanda!" But then that would make going to the warped tour together very awkward. So I wont do that. I know that I'm not girlfriend material to him anyway. I am the confidante, the friend, the listener, the emotional support. I am the person he goes to when he has problems because he says that he knows I understand his problems...and I do. I had a friend of mine tell me once that I should go out with him. This past wednesday night I was sitting on the basketball goal base behind him listening to him play the drums and Lauren came up (she's like 12 I think) and asked me if we were going out. Shocked I said "No way!" "Do you wanna go out with him?" "No of course not! What gave you that idea?!" Of course I knew. It was probably something her older sister nicole said. Last Sunday when we were at YAC Chase was laying on my lap and I was scratching his head and Heather, Angela, Nicole, and Brandon kept looking at each other. They never said a word but I could tell by their faces what they were thinking. *Sigh* If only it were true. I told Chase about what lauren had asked and how i figured she got the idea and we laughed about it. We went and sat at starbucks and talked for an hour and a half then another hour when I got home. We were up til 1 am. I discovered something the other day as I lay in bed contemplating my day. Chase, ashley, and Kelsey all make me happy when I'm around them. See I have this sort of bipolar depression thing that happens. Its just where I get really depressed and suicidal. I haven't felt that way atleast since I started hanging out with Ashley and Chase. Don't get me wrong Kelsey always helped make me feel better but now its reinforced. I discovered that out there are people who want to care about me. And I care about them. Anyway, I have to go visit my aunt in 2 hours *shudder* oh the horror so ~Peace