(no subject)

[psalite]

My Uncle passed away this afternoon .It feels like a mixed blessings . I am sad he is gone but there is some relief that he only had to live a few weeks of being unable to care for himself. Kenneth was paralyzed as a child from polio he spent the rest of his life only to be able to walk with braces and crutches but he was one that never wanted  people to help unless absolutly necessary ..I am grateful that now he is with God and is once again sound of limb .I also feel torn. part of me feels I shoudl try and make the funeral  but I looked at airline fares though and the flights I could find were much more then last year when I went out for the other Uncles funeral.and after spending a significant amount on the car to make it ready for the trip up north .I feel selfish still wanting to go up for pennsic even though there is some part of ambivelent about that as well. I really need a vacation though that has been the only thing getting me through an awful work week .
Oy if only decisions could be simple