Cause you're gone. I get nothing. and you're off with barely a sigh. I never said "goodbye"

[ps__yousuck]

Well, today wasn't so great. First period I had spanish that was okay. Then during second me and stacy got passes to the conceler and we sat and talked for the whole period. We talked about how things are getting fucked up and how we don't even care anymore. I mean I really do not care. It scares me sometimes. She's grouded from me forever :(. I love her so much and I don't know what to do. She's one of the only people I actualyl care about and I can't even see her anymore. She's gonna move schools and I think I want too also. I'm sick of McNiel. I'm sick of school. I just want to drop out and take a break for about a year then go to beauty school.While I'm there I will get a job. Then once i get my liscence I want to start working and studying massage therapy on the side. You know..something I actually want to do. I don't think my mom understands. I do not care anymore. I don't care about my grades or graduating. I just don't care. Anyways, Stacy left before third period started and I went to the conceler. She talked to me about my dad and stuff. It sucked because I got really sad. She said, "It's like the death of a family, of a marriage." That really got to me. She told me not to settle for just anyone, because I told her about how I want a boyfriend really bad and how I need affection. She made a lot of good points. My mom got all worried because I called her wanting to go home. So fourth period I skiped with marc because I didn't feel like going to algebra. We talked and stuff. That was I dunno, interesting. I'm so confused with him..but he is confused too. We got caught but oh well. Once again, I really don't care. Then I came home and did my world geography homework so I could at least pass. My moms been bothering me about that. Stupid fucking grades. I don't care. Then my dad calls because today is "his day". We went to dinner. I don't think I even should have gone. It wouldn't have mattered. He didn't even talk to me. It was very stupid. I came home showered and went in my room then my mom started to bug me about what happend today and why I was upset. I didn't want to talk at all and she kept pushing it. I told her I don't care about school and I'm only doing this for her. She got all pissed off and slammed doors. Because I didn't want to fucking talk and she would NOT leave me alone. I was annoyed. Then I finished my homework and now I'm thinking. What's happening to me? I don't care about anything anymore. Nothing bothers me. The sad thing is, It's ok. It's ok that I don't care about people having sex doing drugs and getting drunk. It's okay with me. And I'm not sure that that is right. Oh well I think way too much. I miss Stacy and I hope this blows over soon.

Everything just seems to be falling apart right infront of my eyes. And there is nothing I can do.

The hours they creep, the patterns repeat. Don't be concerned you know I'll be fine on my own. I never said "Don't go"