For the sequel, it'll be Cowboys vs. Aliens vs. Zombie Pirates, right?
There's a new extended trailer for "Cowboys & Aliens" which shows off some pretty good stuff. Included in that list are Harrison Ford getting to act his age (he's still got lots of awesome potential, don't get me wrong), some interesting spaceship designs, and Daniel Craig playing a man who has been given the deluxe Pip-Boy 6000 to wear by the extraterrestrials who are time-traveling cousins to those in the Fallout 3 DLC, "Mothership Zeta"... in my mind... Ahem. Anyway, I like the concept of an alien invasion (or at least, a skirmish) happening in a time period other than the 1950's or later. Though a lot of the novels I recall reading usually had cowboys, civil war regiments, vikings, or some other band of gung-ho dudes from the past taking over a ship and then going off on some stubble-fueled rampage through space and/or time. Maybe next year? :)
So how about all those self-serve yogurt places popping up? The two chains I've liked best have been Red Mango (which we have locally) and Pinkberry (which I only get in San Diego). Another plopped itself into a strip of stores near me, and we tried it out. It was called "Yogurtini." I'm only wasting electrons here because compared to the others I've tried, Yogurtini's best choice is the option to not enter their store. After sampling their wares, the biggest problem they seem to have is a complete lack of subtlety in flavors. If I wanted something that tasted like cheap ice cream, I know where to get it. Frozen yogurt is usually a subtle or light flavor, and if you want more oomph (that is, chocolate, fruit, etc.) you add it in at the toppings bar. Yogurtini seems to think your taste buds were lost in a workplace accident or something, so they give you vanilla yogurt that tastes of cake batter, chocolate that could be frozen Hershy's syrup, etc. Even the toppings don't escape, as their granola is unlike others I've had (mostly a crunch-texture additive), tasting like an over-sweetened breakfast cereal (those were available on the bar as well, by the way). I think this chain has missed the reason why frozen yogurt is a switch from other desserts: It's supposed to at least taste like you're eating something healthier, even if you don't read the calorie count. This has been your off-topic rant for the week (I hope) and we now return you to topics that don't sound like someone in house shoes writing a screed for the local paper's editorial page starting with "I am not a crackpot..."
Speaking of crackpots, a jeans company has adopted a new ad campaign called (and I'm not making this up) "Be Stupid." They make some very interesting claims for what "stupid" people do. "Smart recognizes things for how they are. Stupid sees thing for how they could be." I was under the impression that stupid sees things either not at all (for example, oncoming traffic) or completely mistakes the nature of something for something else, often at the behest of another party; furniture lease deals or a game of Three Card Monty. "Smart critiques. Stupid creates." Nobody likes a critic, let's face it, and stupid may very well create, though indirectly; we have many conveniences we owe to someone not reading the instructions or exceeding the design limits of something, though that stupid person isn't often around to enjoy the innovation a smart person had to make as a result. Anyway, you get the idea. It may not intend to be a literal interpretation of "stupid," as those kids on the corner do have an alternate definition for "stupid" these days. In my day it was "bad." There was even a record album of the same name, that's how awesome "bad" is/was. But the unintentional (I'm guessing here) effect the ad had on me was at the end, where it presents "stupid" as some kind of unstoppable force, as if an army of Homer Simpsons was coming to run the world and that everyone else had better get out of their way. That's the scariest thought I've had all week; I hope this jeans company is happy with itself. I also would recommend, as an antidote, the original version of this concept which both amused and let stupid be stupid before it sold out: Dare to Be Stupid by his Al-ness, Himself.
So Blastr.com assembled ten Star Trek projects that never happened. Some I'd heard of, some I hadn't, and most were torpedoed by the JJ Abrams movie coming out. If they were to put out a new show, I wouldn't mind seeing it take place in the year [whatever it was in Voyager where the Time Cop version of the Federation existed], featuring a cast and crew that started to find their world changing around them as the events of Abrams' movie caught up with them. If this violates someone's idea of how time travel works in Star Trek, that idea got violated long before I showed up. Our heroes would be the only ones aware changes were taking place, and while they couldn't alter the timeline and erase the movie (as much as some might want that), they can deflect "incoming events" so that half the people they know don't cease to exist or something. It could even come down to the acts of one person, perhaps traveling around in a super high-tech vehicle, picking up the odd companion as he... nah, forget it. It'd never work...
But to end on a happier note, Tom Hanks' production company is going to put together an open-ended HBO series based on Neil Gaiman's "American Gods." I'm already trying to figure out what the show structure could mean for the story. I'm guessing that the climax in the book will be saved for the end of the series, happen somewhere in seasons 1 to 3 and the saga will continue, or be tossed out altogether for a more intricate (or just different) plot. I think making the story more expansive is probably a good idea for audiences unfamiliar with the more obscure gods Gaiman used in his story. And perhaps this might move some producers somewhere to consider a "Sandman" series in the same vein? And with that upbeat update, I can safely deliver everyone into the dumping of links:
- Let's start off with a sampling of "what could've been": Tom Selleck (and his 'stache) screentesting for the part of Indiana Jones. Thank Tom's contract to film Magnum P.I. for altering the timeline.
- Last entry, I found a Lorem Ipsum (text placeholder) generator. How about Lorem Pixum, a site that generates properly-sized placeholders for images, too?
- I don't know what it's like where you live, but in Missouri, we're getting loads of Cicada locusts as they complete their 17-year cycle. If you live in Columbia, MO, you might be able to get a hold of some Cicada ice cream from a local dairy dessertier.
- We've got a zombie link quota, but this one's at least a little original. Thanks to some promo pics, I'd say the second season of "The Walking Dead" wins best creepy-cool undead eyeballs so far.
- If you like the basic concept of "Asteroids," want an old-fashioned shooter, and love lots of particle effects, you might enjoy Space Rubbish. Blow stuff up, earn cash, try to survive the next wave. It's the circle of life.
- Some urban explorers snuck aboard the "Mothball Fleet" and took photos of the Navy's decommissioned vessels. If they're short on cash for busting them up, they could probably make a mint selling off the fixtures; I'd take that scope-thing from what I presume is the bridge...
- With the DC reboot rumored to result in no DC heroine wearing trousers, Gail Simone threatened to redesign every hero's legwear into culottes. A twitter tag involving Batman in culottes has sparked a cascade of art featuring the Dark Knight in unusual legwear.
- A lot of my gripes about internet service providers putting caps on data (though the bandwidth doesn't cost a lot to begin with) seem to relate to said ISPs worrying that their other businesses, like TV, will suffer. They now have Microsoft's plan to stream live TV via Xbox to contend with.
- From the 'does anyone still even read the comic strip?' file comes word that Warren Beatty wants a sequel to "Dick Tracy."
- I know balloon-tying had become incredibly complex, but holy wow. Balloon Dog's children have come a long way...
- Enjoy it before the eventual lawyer-inspired "yoink": It's the Return to Krypton scene, edited out of "Superman Returns," by way of someone's camera-phone, I think.
- Just in case you forgot that there would be a shortage of "original" films on SyFy, those nutty guys at the Asylum watched a few too many Roland Emmerich films and cobbled together 2012: Ice Age. Sadly, no, there won't be any computer animated prehistoric cartoon characters in it.
- I may have posted this before, but after several reader recommendations (and a suspicion they may have updated it a bit), here's the side-scrollin' shoot-'em-up Super Goblin War Machine. Make everything either go 'boom' or 'squish' to win.