I wonder if Taco Bell will make a "Omega Burrito Supreme?"
The latest rumor from the Transformers movie is that the wrecked ship we saw in the trailer is Omega Supreme, a (relatively) giant Transformer that had a robot mode and a "city/military base with rocket ship" mode. I think he was the toy of the Transformers line that I truly coveted on sight because it reminded me a lot of my old (small) collection of Micronauts toys. This won't make me rush to see the film, as (1) I can't imagine it being any better than the previous two installments and (2) I have a hard time imagining it being much worse, but I'm ironically optimistic that it very well could be.
The alien invasion film 'Battle: Los Angeles' has a new trailer, and there's a clue as to why they aliens are here, if this one line of dialog holds true for the film's plot: "When you invade a place for its resources, you wipe out the indigenous population." The film could still be exciting, fun, and a decent bam-zap-boom romp, but there's that little part of my brain that wants to know how a race could have resource needs so great that they'd invade an inhabited planet instead of getting whatever they needed in abundance outside of a planetary gravity well. Though a few possible reasons did occur to me as to how invading another planet might be explained:
- FTL travel exists, but that whole "steer clear of planets" thing is wrong. It turns out that for whatever magic scientific reason, it's easier and more cost-effective to jump between planets. This, of course, assumes that faster-than-light travel of some kind is developed by somebody/thing somewhere, and is based on a principle that will seem blindingly obvious in retrospect but was something the human mind wouldn't come up with (like running uranium-based Pez through a particle collider).
- The spectroscopic signature of our world is irresistible. We are, planetarily speaking, a hot steak swimming in butter with a perfect salad that stays cool and crisp from beginning to end and a dessert menu that would make even a full stomach growl in anticipation. One planet should not be so delicious, but such is our fate, and its worth using your entire world's energy and technological reserves to come blow us to (bacon) bits.
- We're the ones that don't make sense. One of the big things that's criticized in sci-fi is never encountering a truly "alien" intelligence. In that vein, perhaps there's something we just don't get about invading other worlds. It could be religious, some kind of imperial experience point system, or just "something everyone who's anyone does." It could also be a kind of reality-show thing where the money made from selling 8-D Infra-Blu-Ray discs more than offsets the fuel, weapons, and being-power needed to wage an epic war on far-flung planets.
I may have put a bit too much "Douglas Adams" into those, but that's what happens when I let my thoughts wander off and get stuck under the couch. Lest we end there with media concepts, it looks like there's a Missile Command movie in the works, as well as a reality TV game show based on Pac-Man on the way. As long as we're mining concepts that require less hardware power to run than most cell phones have these days, how about we propose a few more:
- Yar's Revenge. Originally about a space mosquito versus something behind a force field, the re-imagined version takes the name literally and crafts a tale of a pirate seeking the English captain who took his leg. You can have three guesses as to the pirate's catchphrase, but the first two don't count.
- Berzerk. This will be handed to Michael Bay, so it'll still be one guy blowing up robots for two hours. Not the greatest plot, but a proven box-office draw for some reason.
- Swordquest: Earthworld. I only put this one here because I remember reading the comic that came with it and playing the game for hours and I still have no idea what I was supposed to be doing, so I figured that maybe a movie could explain it to me.
- Adventure. Three Dragons, one cup. Um... okay, forget this one.
I know, it's an old saw of mine that I can't understand why they even buy the rights to something like "Pong" when there's no apparent need to, since any script longer than the instructions is practically a new idea. But on the up side, I did discover that a Dune game was in the works when the 2600 line got shut down. While the game doesn't look that great, just having the cart on my shelf would've been kind of neat.
In 'superhero stuff,' we've got Glenn Beck saying the Spider-Man musical is the next 'Phantom', so make of that what you will (though I don't know if he saw it before or after all the injuries started). There's also the first photo of the new movie version of Spider-Man online (supposedly with viewable mechanical web-shooters). I think we're firmly out of "this costume was sewn by a teenager" territory, and I'm not sure about the flame-stripes on the gloves, but it beats Spider-Armor. There's also the first good pic of the upcoming Captain America uniform on location. Some don't like that his wings are painted on, but I never cared much for them, even in the comics. I am biased towards the 'army helmet' look that came from "The Ultimates," as I think it makes sense for a guy with a shield to give his melon a little protection, too.
And now I'm going back to the drawing table with Mike and the Bots in my headphones, as someone pointed out that Space Mutiny is on Google Video in its entirety. I might have been able to resist had I not remembered the famous list of names the theater hecklers applied to the 'hero' of the film. Those names, by the way, would be great for any MMO or role-playing game. Just a thought. :)
So in the name of Blast Hardcheese, unleash the linkage:
- There's a bit o' video game blood-n-violence in this, along with some swears in the background, but you can say you're viewing it "for science." Someone decided to find out what would happen if you messed with 'Grand Theft Auto IV,' especially with the tire friction, among other vehicle attributes.
- If you've got a science fair coming up or you just need to cast a new battery door for your old "Head to Head" electronic football game, here are four recipes for making plastic from common household items.
- Forget Spirograph. I want one of these. For me, not for my kid. He can get his own.
- Apparently, due to a wobble in our orbit (thanks a lot, Moon), your astrological sign may have shifted. This probably means our Stargate needs to be tuned, too. And just in case (like me) you don't know what an Ophiuchus is, here you go.
- I don't think I'm quite ready for the cereal boxes of the future. Here they are in action. How can any toy inside compete with that?
- This next item has a small language warning (for the word that follows the first three in the phrase, "I'm Rick James," so if that's cool with whoever owns your computer), but it's the best Domino's Pizza termination letter ever. However, it's a cover up for the one that leaked from the SCP Foundation.
- If you're out there, addicted to Minecraft (which just passed over 1,000,000 units sold while still in beta), you might be happy (or bemoan) some spiffy new updates for the monkey on your back.
- It's C'thulhu chair! This will go well with Alert Reader Karen's link to the 'Lovecraft' tie knotting instructions.
- Alert Reader Dale brings us some classic newsreel footage of Besler steam-powered airplanes! Refueling from zeppelins with guys shoveling coal into your plane from the gondola was probably impractical, though... :)
- Sticks is a game where you draw sticks in an attempt to guide at least one coin to the guy on the screen. Crossing sticks can attach them and let you construct contraptions to help in your quest for monetary delivery.
- Mythbusters and other scientists agree: we should all stop turning left on city streets.
- Normally I don't post self-help articles, but who can argue with 11 ways to live like Doctor Who?
- If you've got about an hour and forty to kill, like UK comedians, enjoy Jimmy Carr as a host, and want to reminisce about 2010's events (with a little blue language), here's 2010's Big Fat Quiz of the Year.
- And we close with auto-jumping madness in Super Mega Bot. Try to bounce your mechanized dude to the end without slamming him into spikes, since that voids his warranty.