An Interview with Alexandra Adornetto
If you've managed to wander in here from ImpishIdea that you know just who I'm talking about. If not, Alexandra Adornetto is a young woman who wrote the paranormal romance Halo, which earned the dubious honor of being the first book that I decided to spork officially. Now, Adornetto, being something of a dancing bear, managed to get some interest and thus some interviews. I'm going to spork them all.
Why? Because it's fun.
So, without any further ado, here is a small interview with our Miss Adornetto, which answers many questions about her state of mind, and just how much religious knowledge that she actually has.
When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer?
I had this awesome dream about a sparkling vampire who wanted to sleep with me and...
Oh, sorry, wrong writer.
I was thirteen when I wrote my first novel,
What does this have to do with the question?
and I never expected it to get picked up so quickly.
The Plot as taken from wiki: The main characters of Shadow Thief are Millipop Klompet and Ernest Perriclof, who live in Drabville - a town whose residents suffer from having their shadows stolen by Lord Aldor, who wants to use the shadows to become immortal, all-powerful and rule the world. According to Adornetto, "The shadow represents individuality and colour and a person's spirit, really." She said the two main characters were based on herself and her cousin and their own adventures together as children.
Sounds to me like HarperCollins was cashing on on your age, sweetie. The premise is somewhat clever, but the names are painfully wimsical, and I do wonder what shadows have to do with color.
When my Australian publisher
As opposed to her Russian publisher.
contacted me and asked if I was interested in turning my book into a trilogy, I realized that people were actually taking me seriously.
Because just publishing the work and having you make money off if it wasn't taking you seriously at all.
After that, I started treating writing as my profession and I’ve been doing it for five years now.
You know. Ok. That makes some sense. Just...why are you a student of Art and not one of English. (Which she is) You know, so your WRITING CAN GET BETTER?! If you're serious about writing fantasy/paranormal romance/literary fiction, then Art is the wrong degree for you. Personally, I think you took a creative writing course and got your feelings hurt when the teacher gave you something less than an A+ and told you off for your ultraviolet prose.
What’s the best advice you have ever received about writing?
You just have to make yourself into a semi-divine being, slap on some flowery language, have a fluffy romance where the characters have no actual chemistry between them, and you've got a bestseller!
There’s always room for improvement.
I wish you'd followed that advice.
Everybody is going to have an opinion to offer and suggestions to make and it’s important to take advice on board, because each person is a reader you want to engage.
You know, this does sound like the right attitude, and whoever this person is who gave this advice was reasonably inteligent. It's too bad that you don't take criticism with that attitude. It would actually work.
Where did you find your inspiration for Halo?
Ladies and gentlemen, get your drinks. You're going to need it. From this point on, Adornetto moves from semi-sane while maybe a little pretentious to somewhere between hilariously stupid to horrifyingly so.
I studied religion in high school.
What. That is your research? You TOOK A STINKING CLASS IN HIGH SCHOOL? Though I'm not surprised because you don't have a clue about the religion that you're taking about. Also, which school? That Anglican girl's school that it said on your bio you went to? I could see that, but they're going to talk about Anglicanism and brush over the other religions. THIS DOES NOT COUNT AS RESEARCH!
Particularly when your second book has the Prince of the Underworld. The Prince of the stinking Underworld in a supposedly Christian worldview.
I'm abusing capslock... Where's that bottle?
Everybody hated it, but I thought it was fascinating.
As Adornetto: Because I'm such a deep and mature person!
We looked at the concept of God and the Holy Trinity, plus ideas like salvation and redemption.
This is pretty basic stuff, Adornetto, and understanding the mere basics of that doesn't mean research. If this class was so...informative, we're going to have a little pop quiz. I'm just going to go into some basics of the religion that you're using:
1. What precisely are the conditions that have to be met for absolution?
2. What is Original Sin?
3. Describe the Immaculate Conception.
4. What is the difference between Hell and Purgatory other than the length of time you're supposed to be there?
5. What makes a saint?
6. What are the ranks of the angels, and why are they assigned the way they are?
Also, God and the Holy Trinity are the same. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. It's confusing, but it's the same.
That was where the idea for Halo was born.
As Adornetto: Well, also I read Twilight and thought it was the most romantic thing ever, and thought that I could write an Epic Love Story too!
In terms of actually writing the book, I was inspired by listening to old country music-where there are lots of references to God, and each song tells a powerful story.
Kind of like the "She Thinks my Tractor's Sexy" or "Money in the Bank" or "I Wanna Talk About Me" or "Pull My Chain" or “I'm Married to a Waitress and I Don't Even Know Her Name”. They're very, very deep songs.
Which of your characters is most like you?
\~/ (<---- Preemptive Drink)
Aside from being an angel, the character of Bethany is based on me and my own experiences with high school, family, boys, and the world of adolescence.
SHE ADMITS IT! SHE ADMITS THAT BETHANY IS A LITTLE SELF-INSERT MARY SUE!
I don't see anything more I can say to that. She's admitted it. She's actually admitted it. And she doesn't seem to realize that this is a bad thing. SMeyer at least has the sense to pretend that Bella isn't based off of herself, and while Paopao admits to Eragon being based off of him, he claims that Eragon branched off. Which seems reasonable enough, since Paopao actually seems like a nice enough person while Eragon is a sociopath.
Also "the world of adolescence" why is it that you sound so pretentious and smug even when you're talking about being approachable? It's like Bella Swan talking about adolescent laughter. It just makes you sound like a forty-year-old woman who might never actually have been a teenager.
I didn’t have to imagine what Bethany was going through,
Because heaven forbid you actually work at this story. Everything has to come easily for you, doesn't it?
And...what, you're a heavenly being that was sent to Earth and is (supposedly) getting the culture shock of your life?
being a teenager thrown into all these social situations-I’ve lived it!
This is rather like SMeyer mentioning how when she went into college all the guys loved her once she was away from all the evil blondes. Just because it happened to you in real life doesn't mean that people are going to accept it.
To quote How Not to Write a Novel's 'Why Your Job is Harder Than God's': "In real life, no matter how unlikely anything is--the deaths of William Shakespeare and Miguel de Cervantes on the same date in 1616, or one man being struck by lightening five times-if it really happens, we do not question that it would happen. Our credulity is not stretched to the breaking point, causing us to stop participating in the world and go looking for another one that is more convincing. Thus, God can work with the most mind-bending coincidences, far-fetched plot devices, and perverse dramatic ironies, never giving a moment's thought to whether or not his audience will buy it. You do not have that luxury."
Therefore, this statement and the argument that it implies are both invalid.
I hope teenage girls are able to identify with her because all the experiences and emotions she describes are real.
Gag me. When I was a teenager, I would have found Bethany sickening. And I was a little goody-goody who never did anything that would upset her parents, outside of being on the computer too much. BUT I HAD MY DIGNITY!
How do you balance your social life and school while writing books?
Because this is oh so important.
A lot of people think that being a writer just means twiddling your thumbs and waiting for inspiration to hit,
Yeah, they're usually the ones who sit in Starbucks all day, waiting for the next great American novel to blossom on the screen. I'll give you a point on this one, Adornetto. People do seem to think that this is the case.
but it’s a lot of work that includes touring, conferences, and media promotions, as well as the actual writing/editing process.
Obviously. I mean, it would be kind of hard to write a book without actually writing it.
I wrote Halo while I was doing my final year of high school, which was a big challenge.
You know, this isn't talking about your social life at all. You don't talk about how you are able to hang out with friends and do normal teenager things while writing. I suspect it's because, like most writers, you don't. Writing tends to be a bit of a dampener on your social life. My own teacher doesn't even watch TV so he'll have some more time to write.
Now that I’ve graduated, I’m free to focus on my career.
...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You're just starting college, sweetie. Things are all downhill from here. Let me give you a basic idea of college life if you actual want a good GPA: Eat, study, sleep, study, eat, watch some tv, study, sneak some time on the computer to write, study, sleep, go sit in some stranger's room with a pizza while you watch Marble Hornets with people you don't know and call it a party on Saturday, repeat.
So, that's it. Here's Adornetto's little interview about her first book, and this is all she says. She didn't actually answer two of her questions, and the others were just what I was expecting. Still it gives a pretty good view into her mind. She has times where you can see that she's actually trying to be serious, but here inexperience and lack of education in writing shows. She's also trying way too hard to impress me and doing a bad job of it.
Next Treat: Why Teenage Boys Suck More Than Vampires
Have your drinks handy with this one. You're going to need it.
Why? Because it's fun.
So, without any further ado, here is a small interview with our Miss Adornetto, which answers many questions about her state of mind, and just how much religious knowledge that she actually has.
When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer?
I had this awesome dream about a sparkling vampire who wanted to sleep with me and...
Oh, sorry, wrong writer.
I was thirteen when I wrote my first novel,
What does this have to do with the question?
and I never expected it to get picked up so quickly.
The Plot as taken from wiki: The main characters of Shadow Thief are Millipop Klompet and Ernest Perriclof, who live in Drabville - a town whose residents suffer from having their shadows stolen by Lord Aldor, who wants to use the shadows to become immortal, all-powerful and rule the world. According to Adornetto, "The shadow represents individuality and colour and a person's spirit, really." She said the two main characters were based on herself and her cousin and their own adventures together as children.
Sounds to me like HarperCollins was cashing on on your age, sweetie. The premise is somewhat clever, but the names are painfully wimsical, and I do wonder what shadows have to do with color.
When my Australian publisher
As opposed to her Russian publisher.
contacted me and asked if I was interested in turning my book into a trilogy, I realized that people were actually taking me seriously.
Because just publishing the work and having you make money off if it wasn't taking you seriously at all.
After that, I started treating writing as my profession and I’ve been doing it for five years now.
You know. Ok. That makes some sense. Just...why are you a student of Art and not one of English. (Which she is) You know, so your WRITING CAN GET BETTER?! If you're serious about writing fantasy/paranormal romance/literary fiction, then Art is the wrong degree for you. Personally, I think you took a creative writing course and got your feelings hurt when the teacher gave you something less than an A+ and told you off for your ultraviolet prose.
What’s the best advice you have ever received about writing?
You just have to make yourself into a semi-divine being, slap on some flowery language, have a fluffy romance where the characters have no actual chemistry between them, and you've got a bestseller!
There’s always room for improvement.
I wish you'd followed that advice.
Everybody is going to have an opinion to offer and suggestions to make and it’s important to take advice on board, because each person is a reader you want to engage.
You know, this does sound like the right attitude, and whoever this person is who gave this advice was reasonably inteligent. It's too bad that you don't take criticism with that attitude. It would actually work.
Where did you find your inspiration for Halo?
Ladies and gentlemen, get your drinks. You're going to need it. From this point on, Adornetto moves from semi-sane while maybe a little pretentious to somewhere between hilariously stupid to horrifyingly so.
I studied religion in high school.
What. That is your research? You TOOK A STINKING CLASS IN HIGH SCHOOL? Though I'm not surprised because you don't have a clue about the religion that you're taking about. Also, which school? That Anglican girl's school that it said on your bio you went to? I could see that, but they're going to talk about Anglicanism and brush over the other religions. THIS DOES NOT COUNT AS RESEARCH!
Particularly when your second book has the Prince of the Underworld. The Prince of the stinking Underworld in a supposedly Christian worldview.
I'm abusing capslock... Where's that bottle?
Everybody hated it, but I thought it was fascinating.
As Adornetto: Because I'm such a deep and mature person!
We looked at the concept of God and the Holy Trinity, plus ideas like salvation and redemption.
This is pretty basic stuff, Adornetto, and understanding the mere basics of that doesn't mean research. If this class was so...informative, we're going to have a little pop quiz. I'm just going to go into some basics of the religion that you're using:
1. What precisely are the conditions that have to be met for absolution?
2. What is Original Sin?
3. Describe the Immaculate Conception.
4. What is the difference between Hell and Purgatory other than the length of time you're supposed to be there?
5. What makes a saint?
6. What are the ranks of the angels, and why are they assigned the way they are?
Also, God and the Holy Trinity are the same. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. It's confusing, but it's the same.
That was where the idea for Halo was born.
As Adornetto: Well, also I read Twilight and thought it was the most romantic thing ever, and thought that I could write an Epic Love Story too!
In terms of actually writing the book, I was inspired by listening to old country music-where there are lots of references to God, and each song tells a powerful story.
Kind of like the "She Thinks my Tractor's Sexy" or "Money in the Bank" or "I Wanna Talk About Me" or "Pull My Chain" or “I'm Married to a Waitress and I Don't Even Know Her Name”. They're very, very deep songs.
Which of your characters is most like you?
\~/ (<---- Preemptive Drink)
Aside from being an angel, the character of Bethany is based on me and my own experiences with high school, family, boys, and the world of adolescence.
SHE ADMITS IT! SHE ADMITS THAT BETHANY IS A LITTLE SELF-INSERT MARY SUE!
I don't see anything more I can say to that. She's admitted it. She's actually admitted it. And she doesn't seem to realize that this is a bad thing. SMeyer at least has the sense to pretend that Bella isn't based off of herself, and while Paopao admits to Eragon being based off of him, he claims that Eragon branched off. Which seems reasonable enough, since Paopao actually seems like a nice enough person while Eragon is a sociopath.
Also "the world of adolescence" why is it that you sound so pretentious and smug even when you're talking about being approachable? It's like Bella Swan talking about adolescent laughter. It just makes you sound like a forty-year-old woman who might never actually have been a teenager.
I didn’t have to imagine what Bethany was going through,
Because heaven forbid you actually work at this story. Everything has to come easily for you, doesn't it?
And...what, you're a heavenly being that was sent to Earth and is (supposedly) getting the culture shock of your life?
being a teenager thrown into all these social situations-I’ve lived it!
This is rather like SMeyer mentioning how when she went into college all the guys loved her once she was away from all the evil blondes. Just because it happened to you in real life doesn't mean that people are going to accept it.
To quote How Not to Write a Novel's 'Why Your Job is Harder Than God's': "In real life, no matter how unlikely anything is--the deaths of William Shakespeare and Miguel de Cervantes on the same date in 1616, or one man being struck by lightening five times-if it really happens, we do not question that it would happen. Our credulity is not stretched to the breaking point, causing us to stop participating in the world and go looking for another one that is more convincing. Thus, God can work with the most mind-bending coincidences, far-fetched plot devices, and perverse dramatic ironies, never giving a moment's thought to whether or not his audience will buy it. You do not have that luxury."
Therefore, this statement and the argument that it implies are both invalid.
I hope teenage girls are able to identify with her because all the experiences and emotions she describes are real.
Gag me. When I was a teenager, I would have found Bethany sickening. And I was a little goody-goody who never did anything that would upset her parents, outside of being on the computer too much. BUT I HAD MY DIGNITY!
How do you balance your social life and school while writing books?
Because this is oh so important.
A lot of people think that being a writer just means twiddling your thumbs and waiting for inspiration to hit,
Yeah, they're usually the ones who sit in Starbucks all day, waiting for the next great American novel to blossom on the screen. I'll give you a point on this one, Adornetto. People do seem to think that this is the case.
but it’s a lot of work that includes touring, conferences, and media promotions, as well as the actual writing/editing process.
Obviously. I mean, it would be kind of hard to write a book without actually writing it.
I wrote Halo while I was doing my final year of high school, which was a big challenge.
You know, this isn't talking about your social life at all. You don't talk about how you are able to hang out with friends and do normal teenager things while writing. I suspect it's because, like most writers, you don't. Writing tends to be a bit of a dampener on your social life. My own teacher doesn't even watch TV so he'll have some more time to write.
Now that I’ve graduated, I’m free to focus on my career.
...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You're just starting college, sweetie. Things are all downhill from here. Let me give you a basic idea of college life if you actual want a good GPA: Eat, study, sleep, study, eat, watch some tv, study, sneak some time on the computer to write, study, sleep, go sit in some stranger's room with a pizza while you watch Marble Hornets with people you don't know and call it a party on Saturday, repeat.
So, that's it. Here's Adornetto's little interview about her first book, and this is all she says. She didn't actually answer two of her questions, and the others were just what I was expecting. Still it gives a pretty good view into her mind. She has times where you can see that she's actually trying to be serious, but here inexperience and lack of education in writing shows. She's also trying way too hard to impress me and doing a bad job of it.
Next Treat: Why Teenage Boys Suck More Than Vampires
Have your drinks handy with this one. You're going to need it.