(no subject)
Left work early today. Couldn't handle it. The kids didn't understand what was wrong and I was a mess. I looked awful. My eyes and nose are so swollen from crying that I look like I'm having a bad allergic reaction to something. I haven't stopped crying. It was so horrible to see someone so happy and loving and wonderful in such an awful condition. I'll never forget how frightening his eyes were. They were huge and looked as though they saw through you, like he couldn't see you or anyone else. Once I tell everyone how old he was, they sort of dismiss what happened as okay. No, his age does not make it better. He wasn't a feeble, unhealthy animal. He was a seat stealing, clever, playful, happy animal who loved nothing more than being with his family. He would go through the house and open all the doors to check on anyone behind them. He would poke his head around corners to see if you were really leaving the living room so he could hurry up and steal your seat. He would pretend he couldn't get up on the furniture to trick you into leaving your seat, so he could quickly jump up there and steal it. He was a sock stealer who loved nothing more than greeting my dad with lots of barks and stealing his socks and forcing him to play with him. He was a completely healthy, vibrant, loving, beautiful animal. And then suddenly he wasn't. I am grateful that he was able to be that way right up until the very end. But his eyes and the eerie, uncontrollable head tilting are going to haunt me for a long, long time.
After I got out of work, I went and picked up flowers, some Starbursts (in case anyone didn't like or was allergic to chocolate or something else) and a card and took it to the vets office to thank them for all the kindness and care they've shown our dogs. I originally started seeing them for my hamsters, because they were kind, willing to try, and not terribly expensive. After our original vet retired, we transferred all of our pets over to them and it was a good decision to do so.
I cried the whole way to the office. I tried to stop, because I wanted to be able to talk coherently, but I couldn't. I'm crying right now as I type this. I can't stop crying. It didn't help that they were giving me sympathetic looks through the windows before I even made it to the sidewalk. The whole front of the office is glass, so they saw me coming. That didn't help.
The man who was in there buying food for his animal quickly exited once he heard me sniffling over the sound of the door chimes. I told them how much I appreciated them helping Maxwell, and how quickly they were able to do so. Seriously, we were in within an hour. Then I addressed the second reason I visited them.
You see, back in high school, I went on a ride along with animal control for a school project. While I was doing that, we made stops at a few vets offices. She went around back and would come back with garbage bags that she would throw in the back of the truck in a trash can.
They were the bodies of euthanized animals that the owners left for the vets to take care of. It's been almost 10 years and the image of that tiny body in that bag has not been one I've been able to forget. I was already sick to my stomach for not being able to be there with him, but when my parents told me they left him at the vets, I had a melt down. The idea of him being carelessly tossed in a trash bag and then in the back of a van, like garbage, was horrifying.
As best I could I asked what happened to him, and why I needed to know. They told me he was picked up earlier that day and taken to a place out in Jefferson County, where he would be cremated and his ashes scattered. They were horrified by the idea of the garbage bag scenario, which helped. If they hadn't been, I don't know what I would have done.
Bye, Moo. You were the happiest, gentlest, most loving soul I've know.
After I got out of work, I went and picked up flowers, some Starbursts (in case anyone didn't like or was allergic to chocolate or something else) and a card and took it to the vets office to thank them for all the kindness and care they've shown our dogs. I originally started seeing them for my hamsters, because they were kind, willing to try, and not terribly expensive. After our original vet retired, we transferred all of our pets over to them and it was a good decision to do so.
I cried the whole way to the office. I tried to stop, because I wanted to be able to talk coherently, but I couldn't. I'm crying right now as I type this. I can't stop crying. It didn't help that they were giving me sympathetic looks through the windows before I even made it to the sidewalk. The whole front of the office is glass, so they saw me coming. That didn't help.
The man who was in there buying food for his animal quickly exited once he heard me sniffling over the sound of the door chimes. I told them how much I appreciated them helping Maxwell, and how quickly they were able to do so. Seriously, we were in within an hour. Then I addressed the second reason I visited them.
You see, back in high school, I went on a ride along with animal control for a school project. While I was doing that, we made stops at a few vets offices. She went around back and would come back with garbage bags that she would throw in the back of the truck in a trash can.
They were the bodies of euthanized animals that the owners left for the vets to take care of. It's been almost 10 years and the image of that tiny body in that bag has not been one I've been able to forget. I was already sick to my stomach for not being able to be there with him, but when my parents told me they left him at the vets, I had a melt down. The idea of him being carelessly tossed in a trash bag and then in the back of a van, like garbage, was horrifying.
As best I could I asked what happened to him, and why I needed to know. They told me he was picked up earlier that day and taken to a place out in Jefferson County, where he would be cremated and his ashes scattered. They were horrified by the idea of the garbage bag scenario, which helped. If they hadn't been, I don't know what I would have done.
Bye, Moo. You were the happiest, gentlest, most loving soul I've know.